The Unbreakable Vow
by Dua Delacroix
Summary: AU. Lily chooses forgiveness and mercy. Severus chooses to become worthy and honorable. With one choice, the chasm that Dark Magic created between them is no more. Together, they choose what is right, instead of what is easy – and a new path lies ahead of them. Destiny remains the same, however, no matter which path is taken. SeverusLily. Part I of III. Edited as of 12/2019!
1. I: Penance and Crossroads

**INTRODUCTION**

Welcome to _**THE UNBREAKABLE VOW**_! This story will be a novel-length fic, featuring Severus Snape and Lily Evans Potter as a ship AND will also become a Severitus fic, featuring Snape as Harry's father.

In this fic, there will be a lot of mature themes, though not necessarily explicit. Currently, as this story is rated **T(een Audiences and Up)**, but there is a clear demarcation where the story will increase to an **M(ature)** rating, so be forewarned. I will make it clear which chapter marks the rating increase, so there is a heads-up.

While this is a romance between Snape and Lily, unlike most shippers, I will not be glossing over the very disturbing aspects of their friendship and potential shipping - especially the behavior of Snape and what it means that this is his behavior. The very real issues of prejudice and bullying and war will be address in this fic and nothing will be sugarcoated, as best I can. If you have concerns about how a ship like this can be in character but still get Snape and Lily to a place where they're a healthy ship? Well, that's the plan in this story.

I have had a very complex relationship with the Snape and Lily ship since 2007 and with this fic, I plan on tackling how it can be touching and disturbing at the same time and how JKR meant that Snape had to change in order to be someone Lily could love and love for real.

There are three parts to this story: **Part I**, which takes place during the final two years of Snape and Lily's Hogwarts years; **Part II**, which takes place in the two years after Hogwarts before Harry is born; and **Part III**, which takes place from Harry's birth to Halloween 1981 and a bit thereafter. Harry is a character in this story, but for obvious reasons, he doesn't appear until **Part II** \- which means there's going to be a great part of this story that doesn't feature Harry. His character listing is not a fraud or mistake, it just takes a while to get there. Be warned!

Without further ado, let's get started on my first attempt at Snape/Lily fic _and_ Severitus - _**THE UNBREAKABLE VOW**_.

* * *

**\- PART ONE -**

_**The Mending**_  
_1976 - 1978_

* * *

**CHAPTER I: **_Penance and Crossroads_

**Friday, 25 June 1976**

"Snape is outside in the corridor and so far, Fabian has taken _forty_ points from Slytherin, because he refuses to leave."

"Fabian can take as many points as he likes off of Slytherin. Into the negative, for all I care. Leave me alone, Mary."

"Lily! Come on, now - something must be done about this. This is unacceptable!"

"I didn't tell him to come here! Not after he - after he - "

"You may not have told him to come up here, but you're the reason why he is lurking in the corridor and is refusing to leave. Lily, you have to deal with your little friend. I'm not only asking you as a friend, I'm asking you as a prefect, too."

Lily sniffed discreetly, hoping that Mary wouldn't hear, that she'd continue to be so indignant at having to talk through the bed curtains that the older witch wouldn't notice that she was actually crying. She hated that she couldn't stop crying or that the ache in her chest was so acute, it was painful. More than anything, she hated that the reason she was secluded in her bed in Gryffindor Tower with a broken heart and an endless wellspring of tears was the one person she loved more than anything -

And the person who'd hurt her so gravely, earlier this afternoon.

The person who Mary was now demanding that she come down from the dormitory and deal with.

"How long has he been out there?" asked Lily, wiping away her tears with a trembling hand.

"All bloody afternoon! He hasn't left since after Fabian broke up the little tussle between him and the Mauraders down by the Black Lake - and, frankly, it is getting to be a little unsettling."

Lily looked up sharply. All afternoon? Severus had been in the corridor all afternoon, this entire time she'd been up here sobbing and feeling the pain of a splintered heart - and he hadn't left, not once? Lily sniffled once more, a wild spark of hope budding beneath the continuous ache of humiliation and hurt.

If Severus had been waiting all afternoon and all evening outside the portrait hole, he had clearly and obviously been waiting for her. Waiting to see her or for her to come from within Gryffindor Tower so that he could talk to her. Surely, his insistence on speaking with her meant that he wanted to apologize, that he had an explanation?

But, Lily couldn't let herself get attached to such a hope.

Severus had done something unthinkable and reprehensible, earlier this afternoon after their OWL examination had concluded. Not only had he wounded her deeply by calling her the hated, poisonous slur that never failed to make her feel inferior and less than human - he had done so publicly, in front of a crowd of their classmates.

Lily wasn't sure what was worse: the pain of being called Mudblood by Severus or the humiliation of having everyone see and witness her friendship and her love for Severus so cruelly thrown back in her face.

There was truly no telling what Severus wanted now, what motives or designs he had by waiting in the corridor with an unyielding intensity, unsettling her fellow Gryffindors and putting himself at risk for an assured aggression, as a Slytherin in enemy territory.

The only way to know was to go down to the portrait hole and find out - and face Severus directly, after the hellish and unthinkable moment they'd had earlier, by the Black Lake.

"He really won't leave until he talks to me?" Lily asked of Mary, as she reached for her wand and prepared to refresh her swollen, blotchy, saddened face with the necessary charms. "And he's been out there all afternoon and all evening?"

"Snape threatened to sleep in the corridor, Lily. You have to do something about him - or, I can't promise that nobody else will."

Lily dissolved the solidly cast privacy spells that she'd put upon her bed curtains after bursting into the dormitory, sobbing and shaken, earlier that afternoon. Mary was standing impatiently, her hands fiddling with her wand anxiously. She appeared relieved to see Lily getting out of her bed, pulling on a dressing robe with a determined expression on her face.

"I'm going to go down and talk to him, Mary. I promise, I'll take care of this situation - because it is a problem between Severus and I, not Gryffindor House."

Mary nodded encouragingly. The sixth-year witch motioned her to go ahead, with haste. "There's the Lily I know! I'm not sure what happened, but I'm sure everything will work out for the best."

Lily hoped so, herself. She couldn't be sure, however. As she walked down the staircase and into the Common Room, which held only a handful of Gryffindors in the late hours after curfew, Lily hoped that everything would work out for the best and there was something that could be done to heal and move past the awful crossroads that she and Severus found themselves at.

She couldn't be sure of it, however, despite her hope.

After all, she had been sure that she was in love with Severus and he knew this as surely as he knew they were best friends. But, after the events of this afternoon, Lily couldn't be sure of anything, let alone whether or not Severus returned the love she knew she had in her heart for him.

Briefly, Lily paused, before pushing open the portrait hole door and preparing herself to be faced with the person she loved and hated the most, in this very moment.

"Severus. Mary told me you were threatening to sleep out here, if I didn't come down to talk to you - so, what it is? What could you possibly have to say to me?"

* * *

Severus couldn't feel his legs, as he stared at Lily - a thousand emotions roaring through him with an intensity he'd never known before.

What _did_ he have to say to her? What could he say, after the awful and unspeakable mistake he'd made earlier, in anger and humiliation for what was being done to him and by whom? What words were there to repair the chasm that calling her Mudblood had created, in one scandalous and regrettable moment?

"Lily." Severus said, her name both a sacrament and a penance. "Lily, I'm - I'm so sorry."

Lily blinked at him coolly. Her stunning eyes were as hard as gemstones, nothing of the warm and loving and spirited girl he loved so fiercely, in her emerald and jade eyes.

"That's all? You're sorry?"

Severus swallowed, thickly. "I don't know what to say. I don't know what I can say to make this better."

Lily made a noise of disbelief. "What makes you think that this can be made better, Severus? You called me Mudblood! You called me Mudblood in front of everyone, as loudly and sincerely as you could - and, you think that this is something that can be made better? How dare you?!"

Severus was ashamed of himself down to his bones, as Lily's voice broke off into a wounded sob, and for the first time in memory, he watched as she began to cry.

Lily had been his best friend since they were nine years old, the only other soul he'd ever known in the dull and miserable village of Cokeworth that was like himself or worthy of his time and attention. The Evans family had moved to Cokeworth in the spring of 1969, when Mr. Evans had purchased the old mill and turned into a factory, and if it hadn't been for that chance moment of seeing her on the playground and witnessing the unthinkable wealth of power Lily possessed, as small and young as they were then...Severus would not have ever come to know and befriend the treasure that was Lily Evans.

Their meeting had been pure chance, perhaps a bit clumsy and awkward as he had never had a friend before Lily and never wanted one until her. But, the connection had been instant, sincere, and powerful - unbreakable, if he allowed his heart to speak instead of his mind and his logic.

In their seven years of friendship, so far, Severus had seen the full and beautiful spectrum of Lily and the zeal and zest in which she lived life. Not once, however, had he ever been witness to this.

Lily was in pain, as she stood here, quietly sobbing into her trembling hands. Lily was hurting and wounded, betrayed and overwhelmed -

And, it was because of him.

Severus felt an ache in his own chest, an ache of shame and guilt and no small amount of self-loathing, as this awful and sour epiphany crushed him under its bitter weight.

Severus had never seen Lily cry and it was because of him that he was now bearing witness to the unseen.

"Perhaps I can't make this right," Severus murmured to himself, stepping back heavily, his dark eyes unable to look away from his weeping Lily. "I've done something horrible and unforgivable and maybe...maybe I have really done it, this time. I've finally driven you away."

Lily looked up, defiantly. "So, that's it? You aren't even going to _try_ and fight for our friendship? I must truly be the Mudblood you think I am, if you're giving up on me this easily, Snape."

Severus recoiled as if she'd physically struck him. "Of course not! I'd never give up on you, Lily. I'd never - you aren't -" Severus leaned against the wall he'd steadily been backing up towards, sliding down against the cool stones helplessly until he was in a pathetic crouch. "All I know is that I made a terrible mistake earlier today and despite what I said, I don't think of you as a - as a - I don't think of you as anything less a powerful Muggleborn witch, my best friend - my _only_ friend! If I could do anything to take back what happened, I would, in an instant. But, I know I can't. I can't take it back. So, what do I do, now that I can't take it back? What can I do to make this right, even though I can't take it back?"

Lily sniffled, discreetly, as she wiped at her tears and gathered herself. There was a ringing silence, as Lily crossed the corridor to be on the same side as he was - and, sat down neatly beside him, a meter or two away, but still alongside him, nonetheless.

"You can't take back what you did, but what if I told you that only if you wanted to, there is something that can be done to fix this?"

A spark of wild hope flared to life within him, a hope that Severus knew he didn't deserve, as her words hung in the air between them.

Lily was making it clear that they were standing at a crossroads and the choice of what path would be followed next was entirely his.

Severus had never given someone his undivided and true attention as he was giving Lily in this moment, as he held in breath in quiet fear and anticipation, and listened to whatever mercy that Lily was offering him.

* * *

Lily gathered her thoughts, as Severus waited with the patience of a monk for her next words.

While conventional wisdom and logic would say that this conversation should be happening and she should have sent him away from the second that she stepped from the portrait hole, Lily wasn't interested in either of those approaches. What mattered here and what mattered now is that there was a chance for forgiveness and a chance to start over again - and, if she never offered it, Lily wasn't sure if she would be able to be at peace with such a decision.

Severus was the first person she'd ever known that had her special and overwhelmingly powerful gift. The gift she had come to be taught was Magic. Dad had been cautious but curious about her unnatural, uncontrollable abilities and Mum had been afraid, her steady and reasonable mind unable to fathom that she'd given birth to a child that was so - unusual. A child that was a witch and nothing like any of the rest of their family. When Petunia had scorned her for her gift, a bitter envy turning her against Lily instead of bringing her closer when Lily needed her the most, Severus had been there to welcome her and her magic. Severus had been the only one who knew what it felt like to have the power of Magic thrumming throughout your entire body, ready to be given shape and form, ready to connect and be nourished by Mother Magic.

Severus had been the first person to give her books from the Wizarding World and allowed her to borrow them from his mother's personal library, as fast as she could read them.

Severus had been the one to explain to her how the Wizarding World worked, sharing knowledge and history about Wizarding Britain, how there were wizarding folks every where on the planet, and how there was a rich and complex world of Magic and all its might, waiting for her as a witch.

Severus had been the only true friend she'd had, growing up in the new town of Cokeworth, and filling those two awkward years with a friendship and a companionship she may have very well suffered without, until reaching Hogwarts at eleven.

Severus had been her first friend and her truest companion, sharing the gift of Magic and encouraging her power and her might as a witch, as nobody had before or since. Severus was the one who knew her when she only thought she was a Muggle, had stood beside her solidly as she learned what it meant to be a witch and convinced her parents of the validity of it, and he had been the most central part of her development into the powerful witch was growing into, daily.

One moment had threatened the truth of all of that. One moment had been enough to bring them this crossroads where she was about to lay out the choice that would be a defining point in their lives, she was sure of. One moment was all it had taken to fracture their friendship and put them on the precipe that they were on now.

Could one moment be enough to fix it, as well?

"I don't want you to see this as an ultimatum nor do I want you to force yourself to do anything you don't want to do," Lily began, quietly. "You are my best friend. My very best friend. I have other best friends, like Marlene and Dorcas - but, you're different, Sev, you always have been. I have best friends and I have friends and all of them are wonderful, I truly and deeply enjoy my friendships. Yet, nothing has compared to my friendship with you. I could lose Marlene or Dorcas as best friends and I would be upset, but I don't believe I would hurt like I am hurting now. I could not continue being friends with many of my other friends, like Mary, I guess, for example. If I were to not be friends with you, however...I'm not sure I would be happy with that. I would feel like a very important part of me was missing."

Severus was staring at her with all the inner parts of his soul upon his face, it seemed. Lily had never seen an expression from him like this before and it smoldering with the edges of something deeper, something warmer - something that made Severus appear to be more of a man than he was a boy, in that moment.

Lily tried not to flush under the intensity of his gaze, determined to make it clear what she held on her heart and what should happen next.

"You're my best friend, Severus, the most important person to me - but I cannot continue being your friend and you will not continue holding that place of importance in my life, if you don't change and change now."

Severus didn't so much as blink. "Tell me. Tell me what I have to do so that I can keep being the most important person in your life and I swear on magic, Lily - I'll do it!"

Lily looked at him searchingly. This was the moment of truth, the moment when she'd discover how much she truly meant to Severus and if his henious actions earlier were something that could be forgiven and healed, a wound they could move past and leave in the past.

"If we're to continue being best friends and if this friendship is to grow and evolve, Severus, then you must leave Malefic Magic alone."

There it was. The true worry and fear that Lily had been harboring, with every passing year and every year they got closer to the end of their schooling. Malefic Magic was dark and aggressive and meant to make its users the vessels for the wild, untamed, and uncontrollable magics that did harm and corroded one's magical core with malice. Malefic Magic was the darkest of Magics, the extreme of Peregrine Magic, and the opposite of Benevolent Magic.

Severus had been caught up in the ensnaring enchantment of Malefic Magic and was headed down a dangerous path -

And all Lily was asking to salvage their friendship was that he would renounce it and travel down that spiral no more.

Severus had an unreadable expression on his face, even as Lily reached over and grasped one of his hands, fiercely.

"I understand the study of it and the use of it academically or perhaps, even to protect yourself. But, Severus - what you're doing with Malefic Magic? It isn't any of that and you can't deny it. What you've gotten tangle up in and is corrupting you is the worship of Malefic Magic and all its influences and I don't like that. I don't like the friends that Malefic Magic is bringing you nor how it is has changed your temperment and begun twisting your minds. Your perception is warped, your morals are slipping - Severus, even your language is changing and there is no greater proof than today!"

Severus appeared to have been turned into stone at her words, only the harsh bob of his throat indicating that he was still listening and hearing her impassioned plea.

"Severus, my life wouldn't be the same if you weren't in it, but I don't want you if the you I have is going to be corrupted and twisted by Dark Magic - by Malefic Magic. The Severus who is a devoted practitioner of Malefic Magic is not the Severus I know nor is he the Severus I love."

Lily surprised herself with her boldness, her admission of what she didn't think her Gryffindor heart would ever be brave enough to declare - but, there is was. Severus blinked wildly, the declaration breaking him from his stony countenance, and revealing a rawness of emotion that made him grip her hand back, with twice as much force.

"The Severus that you love?"

Lily ignored the exposed and unsure feeling that came with freely discussing her most treasure and securely held secret, the secret that she'd been nursing since last summer.

"Yes." Lily said, simply. "I love you, Severus. As my friend, yes - but, as something more, I believe, as well."

* * *

It was as if the world was suddenly righted and he could see clearly, after an undetermined time submerged in a fog.

Severus marveled in the slender hand held in his, the perfect fit within his own large and thin-fingered hand - perfection in the shared scars and nicks from potioneering and the smooth, supple feel of the moisturizing salve she'd created herself. Lily allowing her hand to rest so comfortably in his was perfection, especially, for she had reached for him first and offered more than simply her touch.

Lily was in love with him.

From her own mouth and not his most hidden, wildest fantasies, Lily was in love with him and it was this love that had her sitting beside him in this deserted corridor, making it clear that there was only one forward path if her love was to be given freely and honored.

"The ultimatum you're giving me - "

"Not an ultimatum, Sev. A choice. I'm giving you a choice and because I love you, I'm trusting you to make the right choice."

Severus considered this gravely.

"Very well. You're giving me the choice between abandoning Malefic Magic and all its ideals, as well as the friends and the influence that comes with it...or abandoning our friendship, if I'm to stay devoted and become a practitioner of it?"

Lily nodded, resolutely. "It's either Malefic Magic or me, Severus. There is no other option. I love you but I won't love a wizard who is devoted to Magic like that. Not even if that wizard is you."

Her words were clear and left no room for discussion or reasoning or negotiation. His forward path was clear, if he were to keep Lily as his friend and discover what it meant to have her love. There was no room in his life for Lily and his obsession with the intoxicatingly powerful magic he'd felt was his only solace, so far - and, standing at the crossroads of this choice, with Lily staring at him expectantly, Severus understood that there was only one choice that was the right choice.

"I choose you, Lily. I choose you over Malefic Magic and if I have to sacrifice all of that to be with you - then, you are what I choose, always."

The Sun itself could not rival the brilliance of the light of hope and relief that shone within the emerald and clover depths of the eyes he so loved, the eyes of Lily. The light, Severus realized with a distant shock of disbelief, was the love that she had so boldly declared that she had for him and him alone.

Severus would do anything to keep that light alive and glowing within Lily. Anything at all. Therefore, it wasn't difficult or something he had to dwell on, when he asked the following question, the question that what truly put him on the path he would travel, from this point their crossroads.

"What do I have to do to earn your forgiveness, Lily? What is it that you want from me, that will fix this and show you that I apologize - that I'm ready to change, as you want me to."

Lily smiled, gently, delighting Severus in the softness and the tenderness that was held for him.

"If you want to earn my forgiveness and if you want to see this healed, Sev...here is what I want to see and what I need from you..."

* * *

[**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: This chapter was influenced by "_The Prince's Tale_", Chapter 33 of _**Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows**_, but there is no direct text lifted from this passage. Everything in this chapter is merely an allusion to that passage, in canon.

Clearly, I've put my own spin on how the conversation after the incident at the Black Lake could have gone, if there was the mind for a different direction. As this story is a Romance, everything will start to pick up speed in the first few chapters - but, be warned of the subgenre of this story, which is Hurt-Comfort, and that despite what this story may suggest, there WILL BE a canon ending.

Yes, Godric's Hollow still happens, Voldemort still murders the Potters, and Harry still becomes the Boy Who Lived - but, where does Severus fit in and how is this a Severitus? That is the question!

Reviews are welcome! Onwards to the next chapter of our tale...]

[**Edited/Revised**: Dec. 2019]


	2. II: Mea Culpa

[**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Thank you for the stunning response! Within a day, the stats for this story was going wild and I'm happy to see how engaged you all are with this story, based upon the reviews.

Rest assured that there will be accountability and responsibility on both side, because I do agree - Lily displayed some rather uncomfortable behavior with Snape in canon, to say that she was his best friend and they had a cherished friendship. I plan on taking Lily to task just as Severus, before they can truly move past this hurdle, and the real romance can begin.

More notes at the end of the chapter!]

* * *

**CHAPTER II**: _Mea Culpa_

Severus had asked for the remainder of the term to think about what she was asking of him and tell her whether or not he could commit to it, fully.

Tomorrow began their final weekend of the term and come Wednesday morning, they would be leaving for London and their fifth-year would be over with. Wednesday was less than a week from now.

Lily could have worried that his wanting time to think and his hesitance to give her a direct answer immediately meant that he was insincere or trying to manipulate the situation. Five days was plenty of time for Severus to change his mind, become frustrated with what she was asking and decide it wasn't worth it - to do anything that might have meant that his promise to chose her wasn't real or sincere.

The sweet and meaningful kiss that Severus pressed to the back of her hand was her reassurance that she didn't need to doubt or worry.

"Only if you want, we can meet up after breakfast and spend the day down in Hogsmeade." Severus offered, his humbled tone making it clear that her agreement would be a reward he didn't deserve but would deeply appreciate, in the moment. "We have upper form privileges, now that we're done with our OWLs."

Lily considered his offer, a number of different thoughts crossing her mind as she focused on the pleasing distraction and simple warmth of Severus continuing to hold her hand.

She wasn't used to the freedom afforded to the upper-form exclusively, the sixth and seventh years. Since they were considered rising sixth-years, fifth-years were afforded conditional upper-form privileges - and that meant being allowed to sign themselves out and go to Hogsmeade for the day, if they chose. Lily found the idea appealing, as she imagined what a day with Severus down in the village would be like.

"Alright, then. I'd like that, Sev," Lily said, her sincerity shining freely in her words because of the weight that she felt was lifted from her spirit. "How should I dress?"

Severus appeared panicked at the question, as if a certain style of dress was a concept he'd never heard of.

Lily squeezed his hand reassuringly, reaching for his other hand, as well. She was surprised at how easy and natural this felt. Their fingers were threaded together, her hands feeling safe and comforted in his large, slender-fingered grip, and something about how he was looking down in her at wonder, his dark eyes smoldering and devoted entirely to looking up her, made her feel as though there was nowhere else she belonged than here.

"No need to look so skittish, Sev," said Lily, with a quiet grin. "I only want to be sure that I won't be wearing heels if we're going foraging for Potions supplies or my best foraging trousers, if you're taking me on a date, that's all."

"A date." Severus seemed determined. "I'm going to take you on a date tomorrow and we'll spend the entire day talking - about us. About our new start."

A rush of butterflies swarmed through her belly at his words.

Severus might have wanted the rest of the term to think about what she was asking of him, of how he was going to make the changes needed to give her what she sought from him and to honor the second chance she was giving him - but, no longer was Lily worried.

Without a doubt, Severus was going to use every one of these next few days and make it count, and tomorrow would be the start.

All she had to do was remain firm on her stance and wait for Severus to make his final decision -

And enjoy this next few days for what it was, regardless of what would come, afterwards.

* * *

**Saturday, 26 June 1976**

The dragonhide vest that he'd received from his mother for his sixteenth birthday back in January was the most stunning piece of clothing that he owned - and, it was with nervous excitement that Severus unpacked it from his trunk, preparing to put it on.

Today deserved his best, as would every day from now on.

Starting this morning, Severus had been given the gift of a second chance and he was determined that he wouldn't waste it. He already knew that he was committed and promised to all that Lily had asked him, despite asking for the following days to think about it and give her a final answer. What he wasn't sure about was how he was going to execute and deliver on the promises she was asking that he make to her.

Lily wanted him to promise her that he would take care of himself, choose friends that valued him and made him better, and make choices that wouldn't hurt himself or others.

Simple, clear, straightforward and as honest and true as she could possibly be with him.

Severus had seen her heart in her eyes as Lily had shared with him that she couldn't bear to see him continue to waste away under the influences of negativity and Dark magic or allow the boys that he called his friends to continue to abuse and mistreat him, warp his mind and disrespect him. There was no denying that Lily loved him not only as her friend, but as something more indeed, as she had pleaded with him to start making choices not of fear or anger or bitterness, but instead choices that were best for him and respected others. Lily knew he wasn't perfect, she did not demand that he be perfect - but, she had made it clear that she wouldn't bear witness and enable any further toxic or dangerous behavior and her boundary was clear.

Lily was not asking much nor was she asking for a miracle.

Severus was confident that what Lily was asking of him was something that he was capable of and something he wanted to do, if for no other reason that because she asked him to.

His only obstacle now was coming up with a strategy on _how _he was going to do what she asked of him and how to be sure it would be lasting.

Severus sighed, thoughtfully, as he observed himself in the mirror.

The wizard staring back at him wasn't wildly different from the wizard he'd seen when he'd last looked, a few days ago. He was still too thin for his taste, his nose still dominated his face far too strongly, and he wasn't sure if there was anything that he could do about how broad or harsh his features were. However, there was plenty that he could do about how he carried himself - and that's where most of his attention had been focused this morning.

Severus had never been on a date nor had he ever desired to, but somehow, despite claiming it to be such, he didn't have the nervousness he expected to have before his first date. Certainly, if the asinine behavior of the boys he shared the fifth-year dorm with was any indication, Severus supposed that he should be running about like a hippogriff with its head cut off. There wasn't anything of the sort going through his mind and nothing about the day ahead that threatened such a sensation.

If nothing else, Severus was more relieved and thankful than anything, as he pocketed his wand and gave himself one last look before departing.

Lily had agreed to spend the day with him in Hogsmeade and this was more than he could have hoped for, after the disaster of yesterday. He had less than seven days to create and execute his strategy that would begin honoring Lily and her wishes that he become a better wizard, because she loved him so.

This was the first day of seven days and seven nights of making the change that would earn him Lily's love and allow him to keep it.

With nothing but thoughts of his best friend and the graciousness of her spirit, the kindness of her forgiveness, Severus headed out of the dormitory and into the Common Room. There were a few things that he had to do, before meeting Lily in the Entrance Hall so that they could go to Hogsmeade.

* * *

"Oh, thank goodness! We were about to piggy-back off the next Gryffindor that came through, just so we can check on you!"

"Yeah! We were going to endure one of Prewett's twice-damned lectures about password-jumping, because we were so worried about you, Lily."

With grace and gratitude that she had friends who cared so deeply for her, Lily allowed both Dorcas Meadows and Marlene McKinnon to fuss over her. Marlene hugged her fiercely, the sweet scent of jasmine overwhelming Lily as the sixth year witch's mass of wild curls nearly smothered her; beside Marlene, Dorcas impatiently moved Marlene's hair out of their way, so she could join in on the hug, as well.

"Mary told us you were crying _all evening _and wouldn't come from your bed," Marlene said worriedly. Her delicate hands clutched at Lily's hands, her dewy brown eyes wide with concern as she asked: "Are you alright, sweetheart?"

"Fabian told me on our morning rounds a little while ago that he had to take _fifty points _off of Slytherin last night - fifty!" Dorcas shared, before Lily could answer Marlene. She appeared to be torn between her duties as Head Girl and her passion for House rivalry, as she eyed Lily, seriously. "He said that Snape was loitering in the corridors outside of Gryffindor Tower, willfully broke curfew, threatened to use magic against the Head Boy and a prefect, and premediated the harrassment of a fellow student. How much of that has to do with you?"

Lily blinked, surprised. "All of it."

"I knew it! Prewett wouldn't say, but I just knew it. What did that little creep do to you, Lily?" demanded Dorcas. "Fabian doesn't take points unless he has do and that was a hell of lot of points at once. What happened?"

Lily hushed Dorcas and Marlene as she beckoned them to step off to the side, as the portrait hole opened and more of her fellow Gryffindors poured out.

"I'll explain everything over breakfast, but I have somewhere to be, after that." Lily didn't allow the opportunity for either of them to question to her, as she offered: "What do you say to a light breakfast and we can talk for a while, yeah?"

"Let's use the Head Girl's dormitory," Marlene said at once, turning to Dorcas. "We can get the house-elves to send breakfast to your rooms and we know we'll have privacy there."

Dorcas rolled her gold-green eyes, as she grinned at her best friend. "You just want to start figuring out where you'll put all your things, when you get your badge later on this summer."

"I may become Head Girl and I may not," Marlene said, with an ambivalence that didn't fool Lily at all, "but, I think privacy is more important. Besides, how many more chances are we going to get, with you leaving? Especially with my last year being next year, as well."

Lily looked at Dorcas with wide eyes. "Oh, Dorie, she's right! Please, let's go to your rooms and have a morning to ourselves. We'll never be like this again and we should take advantage of every moment."

Dorcas pursed her full lips, trying not to smile as both Lily and Marlene looked at her, beesechingly.

"Bloody Gryffindor and Hufflepuff double-team isn't fair," Dorcas gave in, with happy squeals from both witches. "This is breaking the rules and I swear, if I have to spend the final week of my seventh year listening to a bleeding lecture from Prewett about rules and examples and peer pressure..."

Lily laughed, as they set off for the Head Girl's Tower. Interconnected to the Head Boy's Tower by a shared Common Room but possessing a private bath and library and a personal exit directly from the bedroom suite, the Head Girl's Tower was a reward for the witch who'd achieved so well throughout her Hogwarts career and it showed.

Lily was always in awe of the beauty and elegance of the Head Girl's Tower, as they entered through private entrance not connected to the shared Head Common Room. Gryffindor Tower looked nothing like this and none of the dormitories that she had stayed in were as nice as the beautiful rooms Dorcas had been rewarded with for her appointment - and, if nothing else, the beauty of the Head Girl's Tower was an incredible motivation to earn the appointment, herself. She could see why Marlene longed for the achievement, too.

"Alright, Evans - spill." Dorcas announced, after they'd given the house-elves their request for a light breakfast. "What happened last night with Snape? What'd he do to you?"

"Honestly? Severus apologized last night and we've decide to start over again."

Neither Dorcas or Marlene appeared to be expecting this, although their reactions were different despite their shared surprise.

"I hope you told the git he can take his bloody apology and put it where a wand has difficulty reaching." Dorcas said with a troubled expression. "What he did wasn't something you can just apologize for!"

Marlene had her hands clasped together, as if deeply touched. "Oh, Lily, that's beautiful. That must mean he didn't mean it. An apology means that he knows it was wrong and didn't mean to hurt you."

A trio of plate with eggs, toast, and kippers arrived on the table, as Dorcas gave Marlene an appalled look.

"You can't be serious." Dorcas frowned, not bothering to touch her food. "Marley, Snape called Lily the M-word. The M-word, for Circe's sake! Of course he had to mean it if he said it. You don't say something like that if you don't mean it."

Marlene shook her head, stubbornly. "Yes, that's not something you should call someone, but it's just a word, Dorcas. A word. If he said it and apologized for it and Lily believes he means it, what's wrong with that?"

Lily looked between her friends with concerned eyes. Somehow, with only a few words, she'd started an argument between her friends and she wasn't even sure who was right or who was wrong. Both of her friends were convinced that they were right, though they hadn't even heard all of what happened - and, Lily said as much.

"Can I tell you what else happened?" Lily asked, raising her hands up and catching their attentions.

"Oh, absolutely! I want to hear every detail." Marlene picked up a slice of toast and began spreading both marmalade and jam on it, as usual of her. "That he apologized is enough for me, but still, let's hear what all happened."

"Yes, let's hear it," Dorcas agreed with far less vigor. "I've got to know what in the world Snape could have said that made you do something as fool as accept an apology from him - much less give him a second chance."

With the encouragement of her friends, Lily shared with Marlene and Dorcas what had happened when she came from Gryffindor Tower to meet Severus and how they had arrived at the point of a second chance. As they listened, both of her best friends responding as she expected.

Dorcas and her frown became more and more pronounced, spearing at her kippers with more agression that was necessary. The Ravenclaw witch did not say a word as Lily explained her bold confession of love and Severus's promise of change. Marlene, however, was absolutely enchanted with what she was hearing. Her bright-brown eyes were wide and dewy as that of a doe, as she continued to hold her hands clasped together, and made all the appropriate noises at each point in the story - exclaiming with raw shock when Lily affirmed once more that she was in love with Severus and had told him as much.

"...and, after breakfast today, that's what I have to do. Or, rather, how I'm going to spend my day - with Severus." Lily looked between Dorcas and Marlene as she sipped on her tea, waiting for them to take in and process what she'd shared. "That's what happened. That's where we're at now."

Marlene crooned as she leaned forward, tucking a piece of Lily's hair behind her ear, sweetly. "From childhood friends to sweethearts, a true love story and Wizarding classic! That's how most of our love stories begin, you know."

Lily couldn't help but smile. She didn't believe for one second that what she and Severus had was a love story - certainly not as everything hung in the balance, a delicate truce holding them together as they stood on the precipice of this major change. She knew that she loved him, yes, but she didn't know what that meant. She had no idea if putting her heart on the line for an unfilled promise was what best or not - but, she was willing to try.

"A love story is a bit...dramatic, Marley," said Lily. "I'll accept a second chance story, yes. But I'm not sure about a love story."

"You just said you told him you loved him! What is a love story, if not a declaration of love and the expression of said declaration?" Marlene began playing with her own hair as she spoke, her fingers twirling around a stray curl as her eyes sparkled with an enchantment that made her so pretty. "I mean, Snape certainly isn't my type - "

"Oh, really? Creepy, abusive, and controlling bastards who are raging cunts to everyone except for you - that isn't your type, Marley?" Dorcas interrupted, sourly.

As Lily expected, the snide comment from Dorcas had Marlene making a noise like an angry cat.

"I've told you, if you don't have anything nice to say about Tohrvald, then don't say anything at all!" Marlene frowned, clearly upset. "You don't have to like him or agree with my decision to stay with him, but at least you can respect my happiness, because I am your best friend - or, so you say."

Dorcas glared, an ache in her eyes that made Lily sad, as well. "He hit you, Marlene. You swear that it was only once and hasn't happened since, but that it happened at all is unacceptable. _That _is something I will never have anything nice to say about, as long as you stay with such scum."

An ugly, awkward silence bloomed between the three of them and Lily wasn't sure what should be said.

While Marlene had sworn vigorously, profusely, and given a sworn statement to Professor Sprout, Professor McGongall, and Headmaster Dumbledore that Tohrvald Travers hadn't hit her and the entire incident was a misunderstanding, she had told a different story to Dorcas and Lily. Marlene had promised that the incident was a mistake and that Travers had been grievously apologetic for striking her in the face, that the incident was caused by stress and grief. Lily had been upset but willing to withhold her judgement as Marlene shared intimate proof that Travers was regretful and was atoning with actions, not just words; the older Gryffindor boy had even been going through domestic counseling, thanks to his father's resources at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. She hadn't been alright that the incident had occurred at all, but Lily had been willing to let it go and respect Marlene's wishes, as her best friend declared she wasn't going to stop her relationship with Travers - because he'd apologized and she loved him.

Dorcas hadn't been anything like forgiving, however, and it had been a fracture in their friendship, ever since.

Marlene swore that the incident was in the past and she wasn't wrong, as it had been roughly a year ago - during the stress of Travers and McKinnon taking their OWLs, no less. Travers had been nothing but respectful since then and hadn't done anything to break his academic probation he'd been on, all through their sixth-year, this year. If Marlene was willing to give him a second chance, Lily didn't see anything wrong with that, if she had forgiven him -

And, neither did she see anything wrong with working on forgiving Severus and giving their friendship a second chance. As well as their love a first chance.

"Severus and I are still friends and nothing like a relationship is happening at all, if that's what you're worried about, Dorcas." Lily said, changing the subject with a soft, consoling voice, deliberately diffusing the tension between her best friends. "We have to work on being best friends again, before anything else can happen, and we've just started working on us. I'd fight tooth and nail to give our friendship a second chance, if something happened between us. Is it so wrong to want to give Severus the same chance, as he is my best friend, too?"

Dorcas turned her trouble glare from a moody Marlene, putting the full weight of it on Lily, instead.

"Listen at yourself, Lily. You aren't even sure what's going on and that's what I'm worried about." Dorcas sighed, brushing her braids out of her face irritably, as she continued: "You say you're giving your friendship a second chance and that's what you're working on, but Lily, you also said that you loved in him. You just said that you're in love with bloody Snape! Forget the friendship, forget the in love thing - how can you stand to be near someone like him, after what happened yesterday? How, Lily?"

As much as she valued and adored her best friend, it was moments like that that Lily was distinctly unhappy with Dorcas, and she could understand clearly how Marlene felt, when they were bickering moments before.

Dorcas had to pick apart anything and everything and examine it to death, making sure that everyone understood that it wasn't good enough - and, it didn't really matter what it was. The ruthless perfection she demanded of herself, she demanded of others, especially of her friends and those she cared about. Dorcas had never approved of Severus and their friendship, despite the fact that Severus had been her best friend well before she'd even met Dorcas. To Dorcas, Severus wasn't an acceptable friend and nearly from the moment she'd met him, there was nothing kind or considerate or polite she had ever had to say about Severus, not once in memory.

Dorcas made it clear that she didn't understand why Lily even spoke to Severus, let alone held on so loyally to a friendship that might have better been left in childhood. Marlene had agreed with her on occasion, but seemed to have an inability to think badly of someone in any lasting or meaningful way - and, thus, her opinion wavered between dislike and compassion, neither approving nor disapproving fully.

When Marlene spoke of Severus, Lily could believe in the hope that kept her loving him through his roughest edges and moments, loyal to the depth of their friendship despite the slow spiral into darkness that frightened her. When Dorcas spoke of Severus, however...

Lily didn't like the hollow, unpleasant spark of doubt and fear that Dorcas made come to life within her, whenever she spoke about Severus.

Dorcas made her unsure and uncomfortable with how deeply and how steadily she felt about Severus and this uncertainty wasn't what she wanted or needed. Especially not before meeting with Severus, soon after this breakfast and discussion.

"Dorcas, I don't know what kind of explanation or understanding you're looking for, but...I love Severus." Lily tried not to hate herself for the shrug she gave, the gesture seeming to invalidate or cast doubt upon her own words. But, Dorcas's words were gnawing at her, making her conviction unsteady. "I love Severus and I believe I always have, since we were kids, honestly. I don't know what it is to not love Severus and it's because of that I believe what we have is worth trying to save. It might not work, it might not last, but what if it does? What if it does and it ends up being worth it, entirely?"

Marlene was holding her hands against her chest with that dewy look in her eyes, once more, as Dorcas clenched her teeth. Lily wondered if there would ever be a time where they all agreed with one another and there didn't exist this balance between one extreme and the other, with someone inevitably in the middle.

"That is love, Lily," Marlene said, mistily. "Not to compare and absolutely honoring that you say you two aren't there yet, but - this reminds me of Tohr and I. Star-crossed lovers, Inter-House paramours..."

Whatever Marlene agreed with, Dorcas seemed instinctively built to disagree with. Lily couldn't do much about the swell of indignation that was the herald of one of Dorcas's strong-willed outburst and simply sat back in her chair, with an irritated sigh.

"This is so stupid! Yes, I said stupid and I mean it! Will you listen at yourselves?" Dorcas looked back and forth between Marlene and Lily, her gold-green eyes gleaming and her copper-brown cheeks flushed with upset. "The two of you could do much better than either Travers or Snape and I simply don't understand why you see what either of them do as love. I can't understand it!"

"You can't see because you've never been in love," Marlene said primly, a hardness in her eyes as she swung her wealth of curly hair over her shoulders. "You've been more concerned with books than people since before I can remember and that's why you don't have any idea of what Lily and I could possibly be talking about. This _is _love, Dorcas!"

"Severus apologized and I'm okay with that, Dorie. Honest." Lily wisely chose to neither agree nor disagree with Marlene, unsure of the conviction of her feelings. "Right now, I'm just focusing on getting my best friend back and starting over, from a much better place than we were in before. Severus knows that he has to change for us to start over and he says that he will - so, I'm going to trust that and give him the chance to prove it."

Dorcas shook her head, disappointed. "I don't think that's a good choice, Lily, but you seem determined to make it. I don't think someone like Snape can change, no matter how much you want him to."

"How do you know?" Marlene cried, with frustration. "People change all the time. Someone apologizing means they know what they did was wrong and they'll change - and that's what Severus did. Once again, because you've never been in love, you don't even realize that it is _because _Lily loves him that he's willing to change."

Dorcas pushed back from the table, gathering the dishware from the table with a harsh flick of her wand. "I am going to sick up all over you and Lily both if you suggest something saccharine and asinine as your love is so pure and so very untouchable and special that you can a Dark wizard. Please don't, Marlene!"

The scorn Dorcas spoke with was as unexpected as it was stinging and Lily couldn't help but flinch. Somehow, Dorcas and her words had struck a raw nerve that she hadn't realized was exposed, a nerve that ached with fear and insecurity and doubt.

What if her confessing that she was in love with Severus wasn't enough? What if it was only what he was using as leverage to gain and exploit a second chance with her? What if she had yet again had her love thrown back in her face, but this time, intentionally and knowingly?

"You can be so cruel, Dorcas. Honestly!" Marlene turned in her chair towards Lily, reaching for her hands. "Don't listen to her, Lily. If you love Severus and he loves you, there is nothing that is going to be able to come between that. You're doing the right thing by giving it a second chance and letting love lead the way."

"_No_, she is not!" Dorcas said, slamming her hands down on the table, her voice twisted somewhere between a groan and a shriek. "Why would you tell her something like that about someone as rotten as Snape? You were there! You saw and heard him call her a Mudblood, in front of the entire school! If you're her best friend - or so you say! - you wouldn't be encouraging this, Marley."

"It is a word! Nothing but a word!" Marlene returned heatedly. "A word that he didn't mean, since he apologized, and it trying to make up for it. Lily and Severus have grown up together, known each other since they were children, and have been inseparable this whole time. Are you telling me that a word should be enough to tear them apart forever?"

"Easy for you to say, _pureblood_." Dorcas sneered with a rare coldness. "A word to you, but you have no idea what that feels like to be called that."

"Neither do you, half-blood," Marlene rolled her eyes. "If Lily is willing to forgive him for the use of a word - clearly, it isn't as bad as you think it is and can be forgiven."

Dorcas was cold and angry, as she leaned forward and hissed: "I may be a half-blood, yes, but my dad _isn't_. Papa is a Muggleborn and has plenty of stories about how that word that you swear is just a word has harmed him, gotten him attacked, kept him from getting jobs, lost him friends. Hell, that word that's just a word nearly came between him and my mum, because she is a pureblood just like you, but her family didn't want her marrying _that word _or having me! You have no right, Marlene, to say that Mudblood is just a word nor do you have any right to invalidate the harm or evil it causes!"

Abruptly, Lily stood up, knocking her chair to the floor.

"I'm going to be late for my date with Severus," Lily said, startling both Dorcas and Marlene into silence. Whatever argument they'd been about to get in to the throes of, it was creating an uncomfortable tightness in Lily's chest, and she didn't want to carry such a feeling with her when she met with Severus. "I'm not saying that either of you are wrong and I'm surely not certain if anyone is necessarily right, but I do know that I want to follow my heart - and what that looks like right now is seeing if the friendship we have can be salvaged."

Dorcas and Marlene both looked as though they had something to say to this, but Lily held up her hands, forestalling them instantly.

"We can talk about this later, girls. Really, I have to leave now, because I have somewhere else to be."

Lily gathered up her summer cloak and her wand, heading towards the door without waiting for either of them to answer.

Dorcas and Marlene were her best friends, but so was Severus. Severus had been her best friend, her truest friend, her most meaningful friend, and there would be nothing that could replace what he'd given her, which nobody else had - the knowledge of Magic. If Lily loved both Dorcas and Marlene enough to make an effort to heal their friendship if something had happened, then Lily could give the same chance to Severus.

Lily would give the same chance to Severus.

What Severus did with his chance was in his hands and she would honor whatever he did with the chance she was giving him, but Lily wasn't ready to give up on him. Not when there was so much hope for the future. Not when there was this chance for healing.

With a quick goodbye, Lily was thankful for the silence of the corridor as she left the Head Girl's Tower through the personal door, off of the bedroom suite.

Her thoughts were complicated enough, as she headed towards the Entrance Hall, wondering whether she was excited or anxious to see Severus waiting for her as they had planned.

* * *

Severus was sure that his heart had skipped a beat as he'd come up the stairs that lead down to the Hufflepuff cellars and the Slytherin dungeons - and noticed Lily waiting for him by the open doors in the Entrance Hall.

When he'd said that this outing was a date, Severus had been anxious about what he would wear, but he couldn't stop thinking about how stunning he was sure Lily was to look, since she knew it was a meaningful outing. He hadn't cared to know what she'd looked like on any of the other dates that she'd been on before this, the pain of knowing that she was out with someone who didn't deserve her too much for his mind to dwell on the more mundane aspects of her outfit. He'd only cared about who'd she been with and what liberities they were assuming, simply because Lily had agreed to a Hogsmeade day with them or decided to go steady with her.

This morning, however, the beautiful vision that she presented was because she was going out with him. Lily was spending her day with him and it was a gift he knew he didn't deserve. Severus was sure that the longer he stared, the more his heart threatened to give out from how much he absolutely adored her, the witch who loved him.

There was nobody more perfect, as Severus marveled at how lovely she looked in the blue summer robes that she wore, which brought out the startingly green of her eyes and complemented the deep, wine-red auburn of her hair. The summer cloak that was draped over her arm was a shade of cream that went well with her fair skin, without washing her out, and the cosmetic charms she'd applied were tasteful and only made her more beautiful.

Severus said as much, as she turned to greet him, giving him a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"You look very nice, as well, Sev." Lily said, reaching out and touching the dragonhide with an impressed arch of her eyebrow. "When did you get this?"

"A gift from Mum for my sixteenth," Severus shared, humbly. "This is my first time wearing it and...I like it, a lot."

Lily tried to smile again, but this time, it faltered. Her emerald eyes were troubled and shadowed, as she pulled her lip between her teeth and worried at it as was her habit when she was unsettled.

Severus frowned. "Is something wrong? We don't have to go, if you don't want to - "

"No, no, I still want to go." Lily said, looking up at him through her lashes and stealing his breath from his chest. "I just - well, I just came from breakfast with Marlene and Dorcas and they gave me a lot to think about. Can we talk about it, once we get down to the village, Sev?"

Unsure of what either Meadows or McKinnon had to say about him, especially after Meadows broke up the altercation that had happened by the Black Lake yesterday, with her authority as Head Girl, Severus was instantly nervous.

As if sensing this, Lily reached out and took his hand, squeezing it with the sure, comforting grip he'd come to appreciate and crave, in the few short times he'd experienced it. The coolness of her hand in his centered Severus, bringing him down from his quickly winding worries, and making him realize that there was a soft, longing gleam in her eyes.

Lily wanted this second chance as much as Severus did, it seemed.

No matter what anybody said, even her best friends, that had to be enough.

* * *

[**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: I hope that I made it clear in this chapter, I'm going to be looking at all angles of this ship and its dynamic - unfortunate implications and unpleasant truths and all.

There is such an emphasis on Marlene and Travers because that will be one of the subplots of this story: how the Wizarding World is so small, nothing but personal feuds and prejudiced could have caused the massive damage at the end of the First War. JKR made it clear that entire families - such as the McKinnons - were targeted and killed, which has always lead me to wonder if there was something more there than opposing side of the war.

In the next chapter, we will experience the catalyst that holds both Lily **and **Severus accountable for the mess they found themselves in during Snape's Worst Memory, as well as the first appearance of James Potter and the Marauders. I'm very interested to see what you think of my interpretation of James, because it isn't one that I see often, if at all, in fandom.]

[**Edited/Revised**: Dec. 2019]


	3. III: Worthy and Pure

**Chapter III**: _Worthy and Pure_

Lily took notice of how Severus seemed to be hyper-aware of himself and his every action, as they walked in a thoughtful silence down the dirt-and-gravel lane that would take them into Hogsmeade.

Nervously, he had offered to take her summer cloak, but immediately retracted the offer, as if concerned she'd take offense to the offer. He had been anxious as they'd left the castle, seeming to be torn between the desire to hold her hand and not wanting to pressure her to do anything she didn't want to. The short walk down to the gates had been full of empty, shallow questions she couldn't ever recall Severus caring about - especially not to the point of hanging onto her every word, as she distractedly answered questions about how she'd slept, what plans she had for tomorrow, if she had any thoughts as to how she'd spend the rest of the term until they left for the summer.

By the time they'd reached the gates, Lily was becoming nervous herself.

Had everything changed so drastically last night that nothing they knew before would be the same?

She was aware that whatever would come in the future, it couldn't be in the same vein as their friendship had been before now. This was the ultimate point. If they were to continue their friendship and if the love she knew she had for Severus was to grow, everything up until now had to change. It had to. Lily didn't _want _anything of the cruel and endarkened wizard Severus was becoming, nothing of the warped man he seemed destined to become, if he continued his worship and obsession of Dark Magic and all its wild snares.

But, did that mean that Severus would continue to be..._Severus_...if he changed? Did that mean all that she loved about him and had always loved about him was no longer there and this strange, new, stiff person would be who she'd be moving forward with?

"I'm not saying that you have to do cartwheels and imitate a Cheering Charm," Severus began quietly, breaking into her thoughts, "but, if you aren't happy or enjoying yourself, I meant it when I say don't feel obligated. We don't have to do this. We can go back right now, we aren't too far from the castle, as it is - "

"Sev, _no_." Lily came to an abrupt stop, turning to look up at Severus and looking him in his eyes. Her breath caught in her chest as she connected with his dark eyes, which burned like volcanic rock and warmed her pleasantly. "I don't want to go back to the castle. Honestly."

Severus shifted, uncomfortably. "I see on your face that something is wrong. It's - it's in your eyes." As if admitting this was a confession that exposed him, Severus looked down at his boots and offered: "I can understand if you don't want to be around me and I won't force it. Just let me know what you want and whatever you want, I'll do it."

Lily couldn't describe the rush of feeling and emotions tangled up in her, as she observed Severus with his head bowed, waiting patiently for the scorn and the cruelty he was so used to in live. Waiting for the abrupt turn in mood that would have her turning her back on him and heading back towards the castle, without him.

Something ached in her heart as it occurred to her - Severus didn't think that he was worth forgiveness or grace or mercy. He fully expected that because he had made a mistake, this was the end of their road, without even so much as a fight or a plea. He didn't believe for one second that their friendship was meaningful or sincere enough to put the effort into rebuilding and healing all that had damaged and threatened to tear them a part.

Severus didn't believe that she wanted this reconciliation as much as he did, that their healing was more important to her than anything she could think of now - and, with a pang, Lily wondered if she had done something to contribute to this disbelief, this faithlessness.

Lily closed the space between them with a determined and clear step forward. Severus inhaled sharply, seeming aware of her before she even moved, and his dark eyes were wide with a morass of feeling as he stared down at her.

"What I want it to spend the day with my best friend - but, I want my best friend." Lily reached for Severus, threading her fingers within his, confidently. "I don't want this stiff, boring gollum - I want _Sev _and I want you as you are."

Severus looked away. "Who I am is not someone that is worthy of you. I made that clear, yesterday. I don't want to be who I am, if who I am is the wizard who be responsible for hurting you and losing you."

Lily swallowed thickly against the tightness in her throat, the prickle tears behind her eyes.

This talk of worthy and unworthy was making her uncomfortable and sad, for never once had she ever intended that what Severus took away from this would be that he was...unworthy of her. His behavior was unworthy of her, certainly. The malice and cruelty, the harmful friends and hurtful actions that he knew weren't right and weren't what a good person did - that was what was unworthy of her. But, Severus himself?

Lily couldn't think of anything that would make him unworthy of her, for there was no set level of worth that one should have, in order to be able to enjoy friendship and companionship, happiness and love.

Unable to find her words, Lily dropped their interwoven hands and threw her arms around him a hug - the first hug she could remember giving him, if she were to be honest.

Severus made a noise of utter surprise, stiffening in shock as Lily leaned her head upon his chest and squeezed him with all the might her petite body could muster.

"Sev, you are worthy of me because you are you and a mistake won't change that. Especially a mistake that you know is wrong and you're committed to righting the wrongs of." Lily smiled against the smooth dragonhide scales of his vest, as Severus hesitantly, uncertainly wrapped his own arms around her and returned her embrace - as if he didn't know the meaning of a hug. "I know what you did was a mistake. I know that and I'm not holding that against you."

"You should." Severus murmured. "I don't know why you aren't and what I've done to deserve this, but you should hold it against me and it would be nothing less than I deserve."

Lily squeezed him so tightly, Severus nearly squeaked, but she didn't care.

"I'm not holding anything against you because you deserve a second chance, just as anyone who's made a mistake should receive." Lily leaned back just enough to be able to look up at him, distantly wondering when he'd gotten so tall and why the difference in their height seemed perfectly aligned. "All I want is to give you that chance and see if we can do things right this time."

Severus seemed unable to fathom this. "Why? What's so special about me that I deserve this, after what I did - "

"You are special because I love you, I'm willing to learn how to forgive you, and I want us have a second chance at this. That should be enough for you, Sev."

Just as it had struck him dumb last night when she'd first confessed it, Lily watched as a disbelieving hope blossomed at her declaration of love.

Severus seemed to be a man witnessing the miracle of sunlight after having been blind all of his life; while he had heard of love and had been told by others that it existed, he had never known and seen it for himself. The repeated assurance that her love for him existed both illuminated and upset Severus and his self-ascribed worthlessness was shaken by the idea that her love and his worth had anything to do with one another.

"I'm going to do whatever I have to become the person that deserves hearing things like that," Severus said to her, quietly. "Right now, I'm now, but...I will be. Soon, Lily. I promise you."

"That's all I ask, Sev. Truly - that's all."

* * *

This was a reward that he didn't deserve and wasn't worthy of, despite what Lily said to the contrary.

As he walked up High Street with Lily, no longer holding hands but walking close enough together that he could smell the almond-and-vanilla scent coming from her hair, Severus was aware that this good fortune could end at any moment.

For whatever reason, Lily was choosing to not be angry at him and instead to forgive, and despite her promises - Severus wasn't sure he should trust it. He wasn't sure if he _deserved _to trust it.

Yesterday, in a wellspring of anger and bitterness and dark, twisting worthlessness, Severus had found himself standing on the edge of the unthinkable when he'd allowed himself to let his own pain directly harm Lily. As if standing from a great distance, Severus recalled how he'd been attacked by the Marauders, how their harassment had drawn a crowd as usual, and Lily had come to his defense, bold and unapologetic.

What happened after that was the worst moment of his life. The worst moment of his existence, if he were to be honest.

Lily was not a Mudblood.

Nobody as powerful and beautiful and utterly, utterly divine could ever be a Mudblood. Lily was the most extraordinary witch he knew of, the strength of her magic and her connection to it enough to give him chills, each time he witness her casting a spell or mastering a new vibration of Magic. As if her willow wand was the only instrument that knew how to channel the rawest magic available to conduct, Lily practiced Magic with a devotion and an immersion that made it clear why she was at the top of her class - and, it was unthinkable that she could ever be thought of as a Mudblood.

It was unthinkable that he had called her such, despite not meaning it at all.

A Mudblood was someone whose connection to Mother Magic was weak, dirty, tainted. Someone who had stolen magic from a deserving wizard and was corrupting its flow and return to Mother Magic, with a body and a soul that wasn't born from Magic itself. A borrower and a parasite, a Mudblood was, and a number of serious issues within Wizarding Britain was the direct results of an influx of Mudbloods into their world and the space they took up besides true wizards and witches, the slow and steady rot they were introducing to Wizarding society.

Mudbloods stole from Wizarding folk, brought their savagery the Muggle World, and infected Wizarding folk with any number of ills and corruption that they were better off without. For centuries, Britain has stood strong against the threat that Muggles were and had been since the Middle Ages, when the Seclusion Act had been forced to be created.

Lily was nothing like or close to what a Mudblood was. Nor would she ever be.

Severus deeply regretted that he had ever allowed his anger and the chaos of the Mauraders to trigger him into claiming something so foul and untrue about his very best friend. Lily wasn't a Mudblood, she was perfection and a gift to the Wizarding World -

And, he'd never make the mistake of thinking otherwise.

Not again.

* * *

As the sky began to darken and the cloudiness of the day suggested that a storm was coming, Lily suggested that they find somewhere to enjoy a late lunch and spend the rest of the afternoon, out of the storm.

Biblio's Book Bistro was the establishment that was decided upon.

A deceptively small corner shop, which boasted of a lovely outdoor patio with tables and chairs for dining, Biblio's was more of a library that it was a restaurant. Lily appreciated the smells of both food and freshly printed books, as she and Severus dashed into the glass doors, and shook off the first drops of rain that had begun to fall as they'd come in.

The host witch greeted them welcomingly, offering them menus and directing them to seat themselves wherever they liked - and, without discussing it, both Lily and Severus headed to the mid-level, where they were endless alcoves and semi-private booths.

Lily was hopeful that Severus selecting an alcove in the more deserted part of the mid-level meant that he was ready to have the conversation that had been weighing on her since she'd gotten up this morning. A conversation that had become more imperative, as both Dorcas and Marlene had both given her something to think about.

"Let me know if you see anything you want and I'd be happy to buy it for you," Severus offered, quietly, almost shyly. "I know Biblio's selections are your favorite."

Lily grinned. "Are you sure about that? The list I have would obliterate your pocket change, as sure as it's raining out, right now."

Severus looked up from his menu, his dark eyes intense as ever. "I don't have much, but whatever I do have, I'd gladly spend it on you."

His voice was low and sincere and somehow, Lily had never noticed how deep his voice had become. Deep and near to a baritone, a vibration that warmed her all over and she wasn't sure why.

"I'm sure there's something in here that I want or had my eye, but that's neither here nor there. Right now, all I want is to spend time with you."

Severus looked surprise, a startled smile on his face. Lily was struck by how rarely she'd seen Severus smile, especially over the past couple of years. Severus smirked, he sneered, he snarled, and most other times, he was simply too serious or too stuffy to do something as inane as smiling.

Or, perhaps he hadn't anything to smile about.

Severus seemed less harsh and less unforgiving when he smiled and it was with a twinge of regret that Lily watched the smile slip from his face abruptly and knowingly, as a waitress approached their table and asked what they'd like. A solid lunch was ordered for the both of them - a prawn, cucumber, and mayo sandwich with crisps for Severus, while Lily went for the comfort of shepherd's pie, with an extra layering of potato mash on top. The waitress Summoned their drinks and offered them soft, warm rolls while they waited on their meals.

Lily was wondering how or when would be the best time to open the conversation and begin discussing what she knew they must talk about - but, Severus appeared prepared to beat her to it. Evenly, without any indication of how he felt about the question, Severus looked at her and plainly asked:

"You said that Meadows and McKinnon gave you a lot to think about, earlier. What did they give you think about?"

"A lot," answered Lily, truthfully. "Dorcas doesn't think that I should give you a second chance, but Dorcas doesn't believe in second chances or forgiving people - so, that isn't surprising. She says that what you did was unforgivable and that I'm a fool if I continue to be your friend. She especially thinks that I'm a fool, because I love you."

Severus kept his face carefully blank. Not even hearing her once again express her love for him - which became easier and easier, each time she said it - shook his stoic expression.

"Marlene, however, believes that it is because I love you that I should give you a second chance and she approves of you apologizing and your willingness to change." Lily recalled the awkward moment where Dorcas had made it clear why Marlene believed as she did, and added: "Marlene and Travers have experience in things like this and they're still together, even after all that happened last year. She says apologies are an indication of changed behavior and that you apologized means that you didn't mean - _it_. You didn't mean what you did, yesterday."

Lily watched as Severus seemed to shrink into himself briefly at her words. Where she couldn't say it, neither could Severus face the shame of it, and Lily couldn't help but be affirmed in the hope that this meant it was a rare, freak occurrence and wouldn't happen again. The event by the Black Lake was quickly slipping into unmentionable territory, though Lily wasn't sure what this meant.

"What do _you_ think?" Severus asked. He was bracing himself for her response, if the stiffening of his shoulders was anything to go by, and Lily ached at the thought that he was preparing himself for a horrible blow that he felt was deserving of.

Lily was quiet for a moment. Thoughtfully, she stared out of the window and gathered her words, her true feelings.

Yesterday afternoon, she'd been emotional and wounded and full of a great fear that what had conspired by the Black Lake had been the end of everything - in the blink of an eye, without any warning or preparation at all.

Last night, as she'd sat with Severus in corridor and allowed her tears and her pain to flow freely, she'd only been relieved that he'd been lying in wait to apologize and hopeful that her risk of putting her heart on the line wouldn't come back and harm her.

Today, after sleeping on the draining events of yesterday and last night, after having a conversation with her two best friends that had been brutally truthful but deeply thought-provoking - Lily didn't exactly know how she thought.

All she knew is that she loved Severus and she didn't think she would be the same, if she didn't have him in her life.

Lily decided that what she knew was more certain that what she thought and said as much, looking at Severus evenly with as much intensity as she was starting at her.

"I think that what Marlene and Dorcas feel are important and valid, but what is best for me and what I want is more important." Lily reached across the table, taking his hands in her own and finding herself surprised at how Severus was very faintly trembling. "Severus, I don't want to lose you. I don't. No matter what people think or what people feel about our friendship, I know what they don't know about you - and that is who you are, not what you do. Nobody knows you as I do and that's their loss, honestly. I know that no matter what, you wouldn't intentionally hurt me, and that you did yesterday...that means there is a problem. A problem that had become between us and I don't like the idea of that at all.

Severus swallowed, thickly. "Perhaps the problem is me. I've always knew you'd be better off without me and everyone else thinks so. What's stopping you?"

"I love you." Lily said, simply.

Severus closed his eyes, as if in pain. "You keep saying that, Lily - but _how_?" An aching twist of desperation and wild, unfettered hope was straining his voice and his face, as Severus asked: "I'm not anything worthy of you, Lily. You know where I come from, who my family is and all that I lack. I don't have anything to offer you! I am the son of a Muggle, for Salazar's sake! I have no wealth or standing in society, and you could...you could do so much better than me. How can you say you love me, when there is nothing about me that someone like you should ever love?"

Lily was stunned into speechlessness, as the waitress returned to their table with their meals and covered the table in a Replenishment Charm that should keep them comfortable for a while.

Was this how Severus felt about himself? How he felt about their friendship? About the love she had for him?

Severus refused to look up from his plate, picking at his crisps forlornly.

"How can I love you?" Lily repeated, the words feeling strange and out of place in her mouth as she said them. "Severus, how can you ask me something like that?"

Severus shrugged a shoulder miserably.

"Well, if not you - then who? Who is the kind of person I should love and who is worthy of me?"

"You have your choice of friends and suitors and you know, Lily. This isn't a secret." Severus was crushing a crisp in his hands as if it were responsible for all his worldly troubles. "You've certainly had no number of prospects, over the past year or so."

Lily frowned. She'd gone out on a handful of dates during fourth-year, mostly for the novelty of going out on dates and enjoying what a boy fancying her felt like - which were new to her, even if the attention and the admiration was not. The only steady boyfriend she'd ever had was Fabian Prewett, earlier in the school year and only until Christmastide. The experience had been so dry and so dull and so utterly boring, for a moment, Lily didn't understand what all the fuss about boyfriends were.

Then, she'd realized that the fault wasn't in her suitors nor had it been in plain, stuffy, joy-deprived Fabian Prewett and his chaste attempts at courtship.

The fault had been that any time she had been out with one of her dates or all the months she'd been Fabian's girlfriend - all she could think of was Severus. Only Severus.

"None of the choices you claim I could make and would be better suited for me are anything closer to what I want." Lily finally said, feelingly. "None of them, Sev."

Severus scoffed. "So far, you've dated an Heir of an Ancient House, the son of the Undersecretary to the Minister, a Wardsmith Apprentice, and were the paramour of Lord of an Ancient House. Don't tell me none of those choices can hold a candle to me." With a touch of bitterness, he added as as afterthought: "I can't possibly hold a candle to any of them, either."

Something began to niggle at Lily, a common thread that was connecting this spiral of worthlessness and self-loathing that Severus was determined to hold onto - but, she couldn't yet put her finger on it.

"Rudy Bones is the Heir of an Ancient House, yes - but, he is also a grabby louse and was going steady with Tasia Goldstein both times that he took me to Hogsmeade. Rudy thought that since I am Muggleborn, he'd used me to prepare for taking his relationship with Tasia to the next level, and despite what you might think - it is no aspiration of mine to be a practice whore for a pureblood Heir."

Severus looked up, sharply and with shocked anger on his face.

Clearly, he hadn't known the true reason why she and Bones abruptly stop going out, any more than anyone else did. Honestly, she'd been too ashamed to tell him. Ashamed and a little concerned at what his reaction would have been, right when it happened.

Allowing people to think that Bones was simply too in love with the olive-skinned beauty that was Tasia Goldstein to continue with Lily seemed less harsh, less hurtful than the truth - and, Severus had believed what everyone else had believed this whole time, not knowing there was a deeper truth.

Emboldened that something was getting through to him, Lily continued.

This straightforward and open conversation was something that she never imagined could happen, for Severus seemed too prickly and too hair-triggered to be able to handle such discussions. Marlene and Dorcas and sometimes Mary were the only people she could speak freely and honestly with about her love life - and, certainly, the only ones she'd felt comfortable expressing her outrage to about how the Hufflepuff boy had approached her and how he'd propositioned her.

"Hephaestus Gamp is the son of the Undersecretary to the Minister, sure. He also can't string together two sentences that doesn't have anything to do with his own greatness and how appreciative the world should be, for said greatness." Lily rolled her eyes, as she recalled how Gamp could make anything about himself and how utterly exhausting such an experience was. "There is no room for both Gamp and his ego _and_ me in a relationship, thank you very much."

If Potter thought that he was the best thing to happen to the world, at least he didn't obsess over it and force it onto others, as Gamp did. Her fellow Gryffindor was the definition of self-centered and after only one date, Lily couldn't stand another moment in his presence - and had loudly made it clear in the Common Room.

"David Ackerlery - I'm not sure that that was a date, so much as it was an uncomfortable study session that he refused to let go." Lily began to grin, as Severus started glanced up at her and briefly smirked, despite himself. "I'm still waiting on the recipe for the itching salve you made. Certainly kept Ackerlery from continuing to trying to hold my hand and walk with me to class. Wardsmith or not, Ackerlery is a pest - and that's Lia Bagnold's problem, now."

Severus finally stopped demolishing his uneaten crisps, allowing the plate to replenish itself from the crumbled mess he'd made of it. He opened his mouth, as if to say something, closing it sharply, before seeming to brace himself for something, once more. His dark eyes were shuddered, unreadable as he said: "Bones, Gamp, and Ackerley may have been headaches you were glad to be relieved of, but Prewett was your _boyfriend_. Prewett is the Lord of an Ancient House, Head Boy, the Gryffindor Golden Boy of everything he touches. Everyone said you were perfect together. What complaint could you possibly have about Prewett?"

Severus wasn't the first person to ask - but, he was the first person to whom the answer would clearly make or break something within him.

He was the first person to ask that she felt she could be honest with, as nobody had seemed to care the reasons why she'd broken up with Fabian. Everyone had only cared that she'd done something as confusing and unthinkable as ending her relationship with the young Lord Prewett. It seemed as if the whole of Hogwarts had been smitten with the neat and chaste couple that she and Fabian had made in earlier in the year. Dorcas was thrilled her reasonable and logical matchmaking skills had succeeded, Marlene had been convinced that the smell of Amorentia was in the air, and Mary had made it clear that Fabian was the best catch ever seen by Hogwarts. Her friends were enthralled with the idea of her being Fabian's paramour and everyone had been rooting for their courtship, as it would have meant something to witness the becoming of the next Lord and Lady Prewett.

The idea of becoming the Lady Prewett had been a stark and rattling epiphany, one that had made it clear how she felt about becoming the lady of any other wizard other than the one she valued above all.

"Fabian is a very nice boy and I don't have a complaint about him - but, perhaps that's the problem." Lily shrugged. "You _can't_ complain about Fabian."

Severus frowned. "I don't understand."

"Fabian is too _nice_, too put together, and too...I don't know. Perfect?" Lily shook her head, troubled. "Fabian is so nice and so perfect that there is hardly any personality about him. He doesn't find much funny, he takes everything too seriously, he is far too concerned with what his parents and his teachers think, and I think thinking for himself is a sin as far he is concerned - because, what will other people think about what he thinks?"

Lily sighed, recalling how everything about Fabian led back to what was right, what was proper, what was acceptable, and what he looked like in the eyes of others. In a lot of ways, it had been far more draining to be with Fabian, who would chastise her more than he would complement her and appeared to care about others than he cared about her.

When compared to how Severus only centered her and only cared about what she thought, the difference was startling. When compared to Severus, the inadequacy of Fabian as someone she could love...the difference was especially startling.

"Your reasoning makes sense, I suppose, but I don't understand why it's your reasoning." Severus said, quietly. "Prewett is a pureblood Lord, he has all the Wizarding World at his feet, as it seems. He has twice influence of most wizards three times our age, because he is the Lord of the Ancient and Most Fortunate House of Prewett. He is the youngest Lord in the Ancient Circle and he hasn't even graduated Hogwarts, yet. How can you pass up that kind of power?"

With an awful swoop in her stomach, Lily realized what the common thread was, in all the wizards she'd been with up until now.

"How can I pass up that kind of power? Or, how can I pass up that kind of _purity_?" asked Lily, hollowly.

Rudy Bones. Hess Gamp. David Ackerlery. Fabian Prewett.

Each of those wizards were pureblood. Each wizard was a pureblood from a well-to-do family, sons of the elite of the British Wizarding World, and there was no part of the world or anyone in it that was out of their reach. If any of them wanted anything, all they had to do was make it known, and the world would bend itself in any shape to see that he had it.

What Severus felt he could not hold a candle to was not necessarily their power or their influence, perhaps not even their wealth or their talents or popularity.

The purity of their blood was was Severus longed for and envied, what he felt made them so superior to himself that Lily shouldn't even consider him in the same thought as any of them or their ilk.

Severus still believed that pureblood was the best blood to have and as she sat across from him, his face flushed as he struggled to come up with an answer -

Lily wondered how she could have ever believed that his obsession with Dark Magic was his only obsession.

* * *

[**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: I have _always _been troubled by the assertion Lily made in canon that Severus calls everyone of her birth a Mudblood and the implication that this was a behavior that had been building and occuring for a while, in spite his friendship with her as a Muggleborn. What furthers disturbs me is the assertion that Severus considers all Muggleborns to be a Mudblood EXCEPT for Lily - and, I really, really want to explore this type of prejudice, in depth. JKR does a great job at exploring how prejudiced and its many forms, but as this one was introduced in the finale of the story - everyone is a Mudblood except for the Mudblood that Severus finds special, personally - I felt like it didn't get anything but a mention and it deserves more.

So, yes. Severus WILL continue with this disturbing mindset as we progress in the story and a significant part of this arc is the elimination of this behavior and what Severus does to change this behavior. There are no Get Out of Jail Free cards for either Severus or Lily - although, for the moment, the focus in on Severus and his behavior, because it was the catalyst.

In the next chapter, we hit a rough patch, as Severus and Lily confront a lot of uncomfortable issues and the honesty continues. James Potter and the Marauders didn't appear in this chapter, as planned - but, only because this ran rather long and I have a better idea for how he makes his introduction into the story.

Reviews are appreciated as the next chapter is being written, as I post this! See you next time!]

[**Edited/Revised**: Dec. 2019]


	4. IV: Bad Blood Will Out

[**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: I have to take a moment and truly thank each and everyone of you for your detailed, encouraging, and incredibly kind reviews! This is the most stunning response I've gotten for a newly posted story EVER and...I'm very, very touched. Thank you, so much!]

* * *

**CHAPTER IV**: _Bad Blood Will Out_

Severus wasn't sure if he had done something wrong or not.

When he'd struggled to answer her question - a question that he hadn't the slightest idea how to answer, for he'd never thought about it in such a way before - something had gone hard in her startlingly green eyes and Severus had panicked. Before he knew it, Lily was gently but pointedly changing the subject of their conversation, saying that she'd had enough heaviness in her time with her best friends for the day - and now, she simply wanted to have fun and enjoy herself.

She hadn't been pleased that he had no answer. But neither had she truly given him the opportunity to think about what his answer might be, before abruptly ending any further conversation. Severus was anxious, as their talk turned towards what releases they might interested in within the bookstore portion of Biblio's and what other places they might like to visit while still in the village. Lily genuinely looked as if she hadn't a care in the world, despite the intensity and the discomfort of the conversation they'd been having only moments before. Was it sincere or was it an indication that he'd failed a test of some sort, a measurement of how well he was doing to atone for his actions, thus far?

Severus chose to focus on his prawn and cucumber sandwich and crisps, instead of pressing the point, ignoring the anxious twist in his stomach.

If Lily didn't want to talk about it anymore, then he'd respect that and follow her lead. This tenuous peace they had was fragile enough, Severus reflected as he applied himself to his lunch with. He shouldn't do anything to aggravate or upset the even keel they were moving along, especially not when Lily could change her mind at any moment and decide that she needed to come to her senses.

Severus tried not to linger on the hardness that remained in Lily's eyes, as they lunched and continued their date.

* * *

"There is one stop I need to make before we head back to the castle - but, we don't have to, if it will make you uncomfortable."

Lily found herself rather taken with how Severus squared his shoulders importantly, raising his chin upwards just fractionally, as if to show that there was no such thing as discomfort or dislike - not when it came to her.

"Where are we headed?" asked Severus, dutifully.

"Madame Pomegranate's Boutique." Lily tried not to giggle, as Severus's eyes widened and he flushed a deep, scandalized red. "As I said, you don't have to. Not if you don't want to."

Madame Pomegranate's Boutique was clothing store for witches, known well and far for their intimate wear and the rather racy catalogues they'd discreetly mail through owl post for ordering. Lily only cared to patronize the shop because they provided the most comfortable bras for a witch with her bustline. The patterns were very pretty, the material made out of durable enough to last her through the school year, and unlike the majority of clothing that was found in the Wizarding World - it didn't look as thought it'd been manufactured in the 1890s or the Middle Ages. Whatever silly or gossiping thoughts that people had about what it meant to patronize Madame Pomegranate's, Lily didn't pay attention to.

She wondered if the deep red flush on Severus's thin face meant that he _did_.

"I'll only be a few minutes, if you want to wait here for me," offered Lily, as Severus looked around, nervously.

"No, I'll come with. You shouldn't walk all the way over to there alone, especially with it being so late in the afternoon." Severus shuffled his feet, ducking his head down as he asked in a tangle of words: "But would it be alright if I didn't go in?"

"It would be perfectly fine, Sev," said Lily, the slightest bit of a breathy laugh lingering on the end of her words. Severus looked so...adorable, she supposed...when he was all abashed like this. "As I said, I'll only be a few minutes, and they we can head back up to the castle."

The walk over to Perpen Street was rather short, full with a silence that was neither comfortable or uncomfortable. Severus appeared to be unsure of how he was to act as they headed towards the boutique, but perhaps something more was wrong. His shoulders were hunched with preoccupation, his dark eyes sightless as they made to round the corner onto Perpen Street.

Lily was so concerned with what was preoccupying Severus, neither of them were paying much attention as they turned off High Street and onto Perpen Street -

And collided directly with Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew.

Lily half-shrieked as she fell backwards, flailing her arms widely to keep from falling into the muddy road. A broad, quick hand gripped her upper arm rather painfully, pulling a wince from her. However, as she was being put up right without being covered in the muck of Perpen Street - Lily didn't mind the hurtful grip, too much.

Severus did, however.

"Take your hands off of her!" exclaimed Severus, viciously. His wand was drawn and pointing directly between the eyes of the person who was still holding her arm in his grip.

Lily followed his wandpoint to find that Peter Pettigrew seemed rather startled and annoyed to have Severus pointing his wand at him. Black was simply glaring darkly, his unnerving gray eyes staring at Severus as a predator stared at its prey before leaping to attack.

"Take your wand off him, Snivellus." Black demanded, hypocritically drawing his own wand and squaring off with Severus. "He was only making sure that Evans didn't take a spill into the mud. Keep pointing that wand at Peter and I'll push her back down, just as sure as he kept her from falling."

Severus advanced on Black with a snarl. "If you put one of your mangy hands on her, I swear I'll - "

"You'll what, Snape? Try me, if you like - there's no Prewett or Meadows around _today_ to keep me from wiping the floor with your greasy, geeky arse - "

"NO!"

Lily knew that it was likely to be dangerous, but at the same time Pettigrew grabbed Black's wand wrist with two hands, she practically slammed herself against Severus and used her weight to push him back. Her gamble had worked.

Severus stiffened with the same shocked he'd become frozen with earlier, the petite curves of her body melding against him as if they were made for each other and instinctively making him put his wand down where it couldn't harm her.

"Oh, gerroff, Wormtail! Snivellus is asking for it and I'm more than happy to give it to him!"

"Sirius, no - stop - come on, now, let it go - "

Pettigrew and Black were scuffling, it seemed, but Lily didn't pay any attention to them. What mattered in this moment was how Severus breathed deeply, as if to steady himself, wrapping the arm that wasn't holding his wand around her - hesitantly. As if he wasn't sure if moving would make her have a sudden change of heart, as if it would abruptly prompt her to release him from her fierce embrace.

Lily looked up through her lashes at Severus, pleased to see that he was looking down at her as if spellbound - and _that_ was what important.

A scuffle or a duel back on campus would have resulted in a detention and a dressing down. But, down here in Hogsmeade, something of the same order would mean real trouble - trouble with law enforcement and the Ministry. The constables patrolled the street constantly, especially when Hogwarts students had permission to be in the village, en masse. In increasingly unstable times like this, where there were rumors of war on the horizon and troublemakers were assumed to have a deeper, political motive for any disruption of the peace - the constables would not hesitate to take both Black and Severus into custody for underage use of magic. Perhaps herself and Pettigrew, as well.

Black didn't seem to care about this, but Pettigrew kept looking around, nervously. Maybe he was of the same mind, as well, as much as he enjoyed stoking the chaos of anything that either Black or Potter did.

"Alright, FINE - I'm calm, I'm calm." Black shouted. "I quit, Peter!"

Lily glanced over her shoulder, just as Pettigrew gave Black an almighty shove - and, Black allowed himself to be pushed back several steps, away from either Severus or Lily.

"Come on, Pads. Just - be calm." Pettigrew turned to look at them, a breathless and slightly callous smirk on his face. "Next time, I'll just let her fall in the mud. She can't mind a little mud, if she's okay with touching all that grease."

Black cackled maliciously, slapping Pettigrew on the back with vicious approval, as Lily turned around and glared.

"Get bent, Pettigrew."

Black stopped laughing long enough to exchange a look of raised brows with Pettigrew, before both of them began cackling again.

Pettigrew waved his fingers at Lily mockingly. "Oooh, such strong and unforgiving language, Evans."

Severus went to raise his wand again, but Lily grabbed his wrist, preventing him from drawing his wand and risking again letting Black and Pettigrew goad him into doing something stupid. Black noticed this, that same predatory look in his eyes, and Lily couldn't help but be uneasy at the abrupt, charming smile he had on his face.

"Let's leave the grease and the geek to themselves, Pete," said Black suddenly, thoughtfully. "Besides, James and Remus have had enough time and James needs a spot of fresh air - let's go along back to Rosemerta's. Have a wonderful rest of your day, Evans, Snape."

Lily certainly wasn't disappointed to see them go. There was something about the smile Black had that was unwilling to let either him or Pettigrew out of her sight, but there was little choice she had.

Black and Pettigrew were off, dark hair and ashen hair bobbing away as they broke into something of a run - leaving as abruptly as they'd appeared and causing Lily to feel as if perhaps she should forget about the boutique and simply head back to the castle.

"I'm going to so enjoy when we leave Hogwarts in a couple of years." Severus hissed, in a dark and low voice. "Black and Pettigrew - Potter and Lupin and the rest of their sycophantic gang, too! - won't have the slightest idea what will hit them..."

A shiver ran through Lily, in the absence of anything that should have made her cold.

"What does that mean?" asked Lily. Concernedly, she looked up at him and found herself as unsettled as Black had made her, but for a different reason. "You know that Black and Pettigrew and Potter - and, yes, even Remus - aren't worth you doing anything that will get you in trouble, right?"

Severus scoffed. "Of course I know that. I don't intend to see my future derailed by that lot of miscreants."

"Then, what does that mean?" Lily wasn't sure why it was so important for him to make his intent clear, to leave no room for her imagination or her fears to run amok. But, it was.

She had to hear him say he did not mean what she feared he meant.

Severus seemed to know this. "I mean that Hogwarts is but a small part of the Wizarding World and we won't be here, much longer. All of their rot that gets them praise and laughs and popularity...that won't work in the real world. It won't work, outside of this small pond they've been so used to being the big fish of."

A knot in her chest loosened at this.

With a smile that was born from relief just as much as it was from agreement, Lily reached for Severus and threaded her fingers through his.

Severus was changing, even if it wasn't all at once or overnight.

No matter what was being said or what doubts were cast upon his sincerity, this was proof that he was changing - and years of friendship was was allowed Lily to know this proof was genuine. If he would have said something like that at any time before this, Lily knew Severus would have meant it. Where most people vented their frustration or humiliation or pain with wild and outlandish fantasies of revenge or comeuppance, Severus didn't seem to have the same ability to make-believe. Instead, his outbursts sounded more like goals or aspirations, than imagination, and Lily had spent much of the past couple of years being uncomfortable with what Severus thought was justice and how much vengeance he thought was enough.

Severus had scared her, more than once, with the darkness and the bitterness of his thoughts and what he'd ever do if he got the chance to unilaterally get revenge against all those who'd wrong him or made him suffer.

Revenge had seemed to be a goal, instead of a concept to soothe his wronged sensibilities. Now, that had changed.

"They'll all get their wake up calls once we're in the real world," said Lily, as they began walking again. "I can't imagine that Potter's arrogance or Black's charm or Pettigrew's brown-nosing will get them far with witches that don't want to be with them or wizards who don't to be like them."

Severus smirked. "I can only imagine that between the two of them, they only earned two OWLs - and that's because _Lupin_ earned them all."

Lily snickered, not minding the backhanded compliment to Remus, for once. Out of all the Marauders, Remus was the one she could consider something of a friend, especially after all the time they'd spent on rounds this year as fifth-year prefects for Gryffindor House. Without the obnoxious and overbearing presence of his awful friends overshadowing him, Lily found Remus to be kind, intelligent, and wickedly witty, with a sense of humor that was mischievous but never offensive.

Just as sure as Lily was that Remus laughed at the things that his friends said about her and especially about Severus, she could let this one time pass where she had a laugh at his expense.

As far as she was concerned, a Severus who raised his wand but didn't use it and only made a backhanded joke about the Marauders was preferable to one that fantasized about harming and perhaps killing them.

Lily had nearly forgotten about the awful feeling Black had given her, before he and Pettigrew abruptly scurried off, as she and Severus arrived at the Parisian-inspired Madame Pomegranate's Boutique.

She should have known better.

She should have known that nothing like a peaceable encounter between the Marauders and Severus could come up - without something terribly, terribly damaging coming back down.

* * *

He hadn't risen to the bait, for the first time - and, somehow, this felt like success instead of failure.

Severus watched with satisfaction as Black and Pettigrew retreated.

Yesterday, they had ganged up on him, making a spectacle out of him and humiliating him more thoroughly than he'd thought possible. Just as Potter began pulling off his underpants, Prewett had angrily slammed Potter with the full force of an Impedimenta Jinx, and Potter had collided with Black and Pettigrew - their magical hold on him breaking, leaving him to crumple to the ground. He would never as long as he lived forget the stark terror and shame he'd felt as he felt his underwear starting to slide from his body. As he'd furiously pulled up his trousers and pulled down his robe, he'd been shaken and felt violated - and, as Severus realized that in one fell swoop, the Marauders had instigated the loss of Lily.

If Potter had never come over and began harassing him, if Black hadn't joined in to provide a tag team effort, if Pettigrew hadn't drawn a crowd with his crowing and jeering and taunting, if Lupin hadn't have been spineless and let his prefect's badge go ignored...

If the Marauders hadn't have bothered him, today would have never dawned as it had and the chasm between himself and Lily might never had grown as wide as it was now.

Severus would have thought that laying eyes on them today would have summoned bloodshed and wrath in him, after the concentrated and particularly focused hell they'd been putting him through, all year.

Instead, he'd lowered his wand and emerged from the encounter as the victor.

All because of Lily.

When Lily had stepped between himself and Black and pulled him into a fierce embrace, Severus had been stuck with the beauty and the warmth of the witch who loved him - and how everything that mattered in the world centered on Lily.

_His _world mattered because of Lily.

Black wasn't worth it. Pettigrew wasn't worth it. Neither were Potter or Lupin, who were strangely absent from this conflict as they had never been so far, this year. None of those boys or the cruelty of their taunts or how they'd terrorized him worth ever be worth the risk of hurting Lily.

Not as he had done yesterday, not as he could have done today, if she'd stepped towards him a second later than she had.

While Black and Pettigrew were probably crowing their perceived victory to Potter and Lupin, wherever they were that wasn't here - Severus knew better, he knew the truth.

He had won from the second he'd chosen Lily and choosing Lily was a better victory than any score he could settle against the Marauders.

This much was clear, as Severus opened the door for Lily and a pleasant chime echoed throughout the light and airy shop. Victory was once revenge and power and the driving thought that if there was a score to be settled, there was always a reason to look forward to another day. Now, as a rather tall male shopkeeper came over to them and bowed to the pair of them gracefully, Severus was made to realize what victory truly was.

"Good evening, sir, ma'am. What can I do for the gentleman and his lady?" The shopkeeper looked between them, pleasantly.

Lily smiled winningly at the shopkeeper, looping her arms around his own arm, and declared: "I'm interested in the brassiere collection - the plus-size selections, if you have them in stock, but my gentleman will only be parted with his Galleons today. He's not here to browse."

The shopkeeper nodded briskly. "Very good, ma'am. Sir, if it pleases you, there is a waiting area beside the register and I shall be but a few moments, with your lady."

"Be right back, Sev," said Lily, sweetly. She squeezed his arm, lovingly, before following behind the shopkeeper.

The chair that Severus seated himself in was standard and comfortable, but felt like a throne as he claimed the one closest to the register and waited patiently for the witch who was singularly responsible for making him feel like a king.

* * *

"Clothes on, bits covered, and don't ask, don't tell back in affect in t-minus ten seconds!"

"One! Two! Threee..."

James scoffed indignantly at the ridiculous warning that Sirius shouted through the door, with Peter cheerfully counting for effect.

From where he'd lay curled on his side on the bed, Remus snickered tiredly, never opening his eyes once. James grimaced. The New Moon was tomorrow. While the Full Moon pulled a bloodthirsty wolf from his human body through force and might, the New Moon seemed to weaken Remus with the full force of his humanity - and, one of the two low points in the Lunar Cycle were the Full Moon and the New Moon.

The walk down to Hogsmeade had taken all of Remus's energy, not allowing him to do much more than get to The Three Broomsticks. Rosmerta hadn't blinked twice when they'd asked if she had a room where Remus could have a lie-down and James hadn't wanted to leave Remus, not for once second, despite the plans they'd had for Hogsmeade.

While Sirius and Peter had been in and out of the room all day, bringing sweets and reporting on everything going on up and down the busyness of High Street, James had been right here at Remus's bedside, loyally and dutifully. Remus had insisted that he could join Sirius and Peter whenever he wanted, but James had discouraged him just as stubbornly, insisting that there was nowhere he'd rather be than here.

With Remus.

Sirius and Peter shared that annoying smile as they came back into the room after the allotted ten seconds. Peter waggled his eyebrows suggestively as they both noticed James and Remus and their intertwined hands, Sirius making simpering noise that made James want to hex him.

"Prongs, let Moony take a nap and come with us. You need a little fresh air." Sirius announced, briskly.

James frowned. "No."

"James, really..." Remus protested at once, only for his words to die off in a wince. His breathing was deeper than usual, a clear sign that he was trying to breathe through whatever pain he was in, but he kept talking, determined. "Padfoot is right. I'm about ready to take a nap and you've been in here with me all day. Shoo, snidget - don't bother me."

Peter snickered, as Sirius raised his chin importantly.

"You see, Moony says." Sirius motioned impatiently for James to stand up. "Come on, now. I promise, we're just going to take a brief spin around the village and I'll return you to your bedside vigil, quicker than you realize."

For someone who was weakened and in pain, Remus had a certain strength to him. He pushed on James's shoulder insistently and made him scoot forward on the floor. Gently, Remus disentangled their hands and pushed again, this time assisted by Peter pulling James up by his hand.

"Remus, are you sure you're alright to be by yourself?" James asked anxiously. Sirius and Peter were steering him towards the door, as Remus waved, willowy and tired. "Whatever these idiots want to pull me into, I don't have to - "

Sirius spun him away from Remus and gripped his shoulders, tightly; James found himself being shaken with affectionate roughness, as Peter opened the door pointedly.

"James, Remus will be fine for thirty minutes and I promise, you won't want to miss this. Just come with me, take a couple of breaths of fresh air, and Peter and I will leave you alone for the rest the evening with Moony."

"Yeah, Prongs - you really, _really_ don't want to miss this."

James looked back, once more. Remus was already asleep, his thin chest rising far too swiftly for his liking, but something like peace on his face as he rested. Warm sunlight came through the open window, making his toffee-brown hair glow like a halo, and with one final sigh, James relented.

"Alright, alright. Let's go and see what's so important." James said, as Peter hissed in happiness at his agreement, and Sirius hustled him out of the room. "This better be good, you gits..."

Sirius and Peter shared a dark and gleeful look, as they thundered down the stairwell and pressed James to walk faster, as they darted out of The Three Broomsticks onto High Street. James narrowed his eyes, wondering what could inspire such a look and what he missed out on - but, he didn't have to ask.

Peter seemed unable to stand still with manic energy, almost bouncing on his feet as he shared meaningfully: "Evans and Snape are on a _date_ and Snape took her to Madame Pommie's."

James felt a cold rush of shocked anger blister down his spine. "Evans is on a _what_ with Snape?"

"A date." Sirius said with poisonous relish. "We bumped into them coming from Perpen Street and she was all over him." Darkly, Sirius bared his teeth in a gesture that could have been a smile - but, only on Padfoot, only when he was the hulking and frightening Grim that he'd been turning into since before they'd left for the Easter Holiday. "Snivellus calls her the M-word and the day after she's hanging all over him, slavering all over him like he was Merlin. I thought Evans was smarter than that, but..."

James couldn't believe what he was hearing, a prickling and righteous anger spurring his steps with an edge he couldn't explain. The rotating street post that indicated that Perpen Street was only a left turn away and James walked quicker, Sirius and Peter sharing an excited look as they bounced and raced right alongside him.

"Clearly, Evans is suffering from the trauma of yesterday and her brains have been addled." James said, as they turned onto Perpen Street and Madame Pomegranate's pale lavender sign came into view. "I think we should go see what's wrong with her and make sure she's alright. What do you say, boys?"

The same spark of dark glee that Sirius and Peter had been radiating with as they burst into the room a few minutes ago was now coursing through him.

Sirius had been right. Remus would be alright, for a few minutes. Just a few minutes and then he'd been back in the room with Remus, where he belonged.

_Evans_ on a _date_ with _Snape_ after what had happened down by the Black Lake -

This was something that he had to see.

* * *

Severus wondered if this was the contended, comforting warmth that made people crave the togetherness of a relationship, as he and Lily concluded her visit at the boutique.

With the pocket money he had left, Severus paid for the purchases Lily chose before she could touch her own coin purse. The shopkeeper gave Severus a wink of approval that warmed him instead of annoyed him as it might have in any other circumstances and feeling bolstered under the glow of Lily and the beatific smile she had for him, Severus didn't think there was anything that could bring him down and ruin this moment.

He should have known that his fortune wasn't that easy nor had been reversed this soon.

"What's this, Snivellus? I didn't think you had the Galleons to buy a witch off and get her to forget what a repugnant grease stain you are."

James Potter was striding towards them, flanked with a malicious enthusiasm by Black and Pettigrew. His expression was cold and angry, a sneer curling his mouth that made him seem nothing like the Gryffindor prince the whole of the school seemed to think he was. The twisted and vicious expression that Potter had on his face was the true face of James Potter, Severus knew -

And perhaps, this time, Lily would see it and understand it.

See that Potter loathed his existence and made it a sport to seek him out and provoke him, understand that anything he did in response was defending himself from the fact that Potter thought the world and everyone in it were her personal playthings.

"Get out of here, Potter." Severus said, in a low voice, pleased at how Lily clutched his arm tighter. The feel of her leaning against him solidly, assuredly, gave him the same feeling of victory that he'd had earlier - and he was determined to keep in the same stride. "I'm not in the mood to have it out with you."

Lily was right here beside him, not standing opposite from him with Potter and his lackies, and that was all that Severus needed to stay steady in the face of this deliberate harassment.

Potter raised his dark eyebrows, as if surprised that Severus would say such a thing.

"What, did I hit a nerve?" asked Potter, smirking. "Perhaps it wasn't you who spent the Galleons? Maybe it was Evans, treating her _girlfriend_ to an evening on the town."

Black and Pettigrew, predictably, found this to be far funnier than what it was, and as usual, their jeering and cajoling made Lily angry.

"I hope you know that I'm reporting the whole lot of you to McGonagall when I get back to the castle. This behavior is sickening, childish, and I'm completely fed up with it!" Lily glared at her fellow Gryffindors. "Just go away and leave us alone!"

"Oooh, leave _us_ alone, is it, Evans?" Black said, simperingly. "How precious is that. Yesterday it was leave _him_ alone, but today, it's leave _us_ alone?"

Peter snickered, cruelly. "Perhaps Bones was right. Perhaps all it _does_ take is a few Galleons and Evans is yours for the taking."

Severus felt his vision darken around the edges, as all three of the boys laughed at this insult. Beside him, Lily hissed furiously, her cream-and-ivory complexion paling terribly at Pettigrew's mean words.

"No, I think Snivellus is for the taking in this equation," Potter declared, coldly. Before either of them could so much as move, between one blink and the next, Potter had his wand drawn, adding: "Let's see what Evans brought her girlfriend for their night out on the town, eh?"

Potter was too quick with his wand, as Severus knew all too well. The elegant pearl-and-lavender bag that the shopkeeper had given Lily sailed from her hand as she gave an indignant shriek and with the reflexes of a Chaser - Potter leapt up and neatly plucked it from the air.

"_POTTER_!" Lily screamed in outrage, letting go of Severus and advancing on the much taller group of wizards. "You give that back to me! Right now! You aren't even supposed to be using magic in Hogsmeade and I will _definitely_ be reporting you to McGonagall now."

"None of that, now. Remember- get bent, Evans!" Peter jumped in front of her and stopped her advance, making her collide with him once more, but this time, with purpose. "Back off and just relax. James just wants to see what's in the bag!"

Severus tried to keep his calm as Lily stumbled back a step or two from running into the solid girth of Pettigrew, who was only a head taller than her as opposed to Black and Potter being two heads taller than her. Lily was right. The use of Magic in Hogsmeade was an offense he could get suspended and arrested for - and, unlike Potter, he was neither wealthy enough nor pure enough to get off from such a consequence with a slap on the wrist.

If they laid a wand on Lily, directly, and Severus wouldn't hesitate to defend her with all of his might. Until then, however, words were only words, as cruel and provoking as they were.

"_Quelle surprise_!" Black exclaimed in flawless, mocking French, as Potter tore apart the shopping bag that contained all of Lily's personal undergarments. "What do we have here?"

"Well, clearly these are for your oversized tits, Evans. Snape is far too scrawny and could never fill out these lovelies." Potter tossed the brassieres to Pettigrew, who caught them with surprising agility. "Sweet Merlin, these could fit Hagrid, honestly!"

Lily was shaking with humiliation now. "Potter. I swear, Potter, if you don't _stop_ and stop right this second - "

Severus was shaking himself, but with suppressed rage. He felt so helpless. Helpless and inadequate and beneath the petty, cruel machinations of boys who were only like this because nobody thought anything was wrong with it. He had thought that yesterday was bad, as he'd been hung upside down and terrified that he'd be exposed in the worse way and waited to be violated in a way that he couldn't take back.

He'd been wrong.

"Oh, but here is the prize!" Potter declared loudly, unfolding several pairs of delicately wrapped panties and his eyes widened mockingly. "Looks like today is Snivellus's lucky day."

"Evans is such a good boyfriend, making sure her little lady has what he needs to get through the summer holiday," sneered Pettigrew, callously amused.

"Oh, the colors! They'll bring out the grease on his pubes, so well," Black added. His barking laughter joined Pettigrew's nasally cackling and together, they began tossing the brassieres between each other, making mocking and simpering sounds that grated like nails on a chalkboard.

Potter wasn't laughing, however. There was something righteously angry in his eyes, as if he was taken something about this deeply personally, although Severus couldn't imagine what it was.

"You're despicable, Potter." Lily bit out, furious tears welling in her eyes.

Potter sneered. "No more despicable than you. What's rotten in your brain that you're out and about with Snape, after yesterday? He called you the M-word, Evans - _the M-word_."

Severus swallowed thickly, as Lily stiffened.

"Mind your business, Potter, and leave us alone. This has nothing to do with you!"

"You shouldn't have anything to do with _him_!" Potter retorted. "I can't believe you, Evans! I never understood anything about your little - _freakish_ friendship with Snivellus. He is worthless, doesn't deserve to exist, and the world would be better off without him. But, after yesterday? I didn't think even _you'd_ still have a hard time understanding that, as smart as you are. What's your problem?"

Black and Pettigrew made noises of shock and indignation as Lily shrieked and shoved at Potter quite deliberately, the sheer surprise of this making Potter stumble over his long legs and nearly fall.

"You have five seconds to get out of here or I swear, I'll turn myself in to the Constable after I hex you six ways from Sunday and back!"

Potter seemed rather embarrassed to have been knocked off his stance by someone twice as short and three times smaller than him - a witch, no less. "Don't put your hands on me, Evans. You should be putting your hands on Snivellus for how he treats you, but maybe you don't care. Maybe as long as he buys you things and is willing to lower himself to be seen with you in public, you don't care that he thinks you're a _Mudblood_ and made sure the whole world knew it, too!"

"Shut up! Shut up about things you know nothing about!" shrieked Lily, the tears finally falling, as even Black and Pettigrew became quiet. "Yesterday was ALL YOUR FAULT! You are the worthless, horrible waste of existence that the world would be better off without - so, how about you just do us all a favor and make that happen!"

Perpen Street was deathly silent as Lily's words hung in the air, a surge of cool, crisp wind indicating another storm front was coming through.

Black and Pettigrew looked equal measures of stunned and angry and uncertain, the brassieres dropping to the mucky ground, as they came closer to Potter, their jeering and horseplay forgotten.

Severus didn't know what to do. He didn't know what was right to do. He swore that unless Potter or one of his goons drew his wand against Lily, there was no need to strike first and get the whole lot of them in trouble they didn't need, with so few days left before the end of the term. A part of him was relieved that so far, neither Potter nor Black nor Pettigrew seemed interested in him.

He wouldn't examine the silence that he'd held this entire time, not speaking up once on behalf of Lily.

Potter was the one to advance on Lily this time. There was something about the set of his strong, broad jaw that unnerved Severus, though he couldn't remember ever being afraid of Potter, for all that he feared what his unchecked cruelty could do.

This look made him uneasy. This look was one that Severus had never seen before and didn't like - nor did he like the full force of it leveled upon Lily.

"I'm not the one whose worthless and should kill himself." Potter said, in a low and frigid voice. "But, that's something that both you and Snivellus should look into." Potter scoffed, poisonously, adding cruelly: "I thought you were better than Snape, Evans - but, I guess not. I guess you really are the worthless, loose, and easily brought M-word that everyone has been saying you are, if you're letting even _Snape_ get a taste of what everyone else has."

Pettigrew let out a brief, shocked laugh, but Black looked deeply uncomfortable, as Lily flinched as if Potter had struck her twice.

"Come on, you guys. I've seen enough of this - and I want to get back to Remus." Potter sneered at Lily, who was staring down at her feet.

Black and Pettigrew seemed to need no further prompting, turning to follow Potter, who'd brushed past them, angrily.

Abruptly, Potter remembered the panties he held in his hand and turned, looking at Severus for the first time since he and Black and Pettigrew had accosted them coming out of Madame Pomegranate's. Again, far too quick with his hands, Potter had thrown the panties up in the air as if they were confetti -

And sent them hurtling towards Severus.

"I suppose no matter how hard she sucked - I mean, no matter how hard she _tried_ \- Evans couldn't get all the grease out of your pants, Snape!" Pettigrew crowed, as multicolored lace slammed into Severus with the force of the Hogwarts Express and began to _attack_ him.

Severus roared in anger as the panties flew around him like Bludgers, stinging and making small cuts wherever they touched. Pettigrew exchanged a high-five with Black, who met him halfway, half-heartedly.

Potter was deliberately cruel, as he shouted loudly enough for his voice to carry through the entire lane:

"I see why she had to buy you new panties, entirely - anyone would get tired of having to remind you to _wash your pants_, Snivellus!"

Severus didn't know what was worse.

The sharp stinging pain of the attacking panties, the merciless and vicious laughter of the Marauders as they walked away, or Lily standing forlornly in the middle of the street -

Her own words echoing nastily in both of their ears, as they were left alone with the disaster that Potter had knowingly and willfully left behind.

* * *

[**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Quite the loaded chapter and finally - or, perhaps, unfortunately - we get to meet the Marauders. A note I want to make clear about the Marauders: all four will be complex, human characters and as of this point, they are all friends. Yes, even Peter. Since I was a kid, I have despised that because of his canon character arc, Peter is treated as the traitor that Harry and Sirius and their friends know him to be even back in his school days, because guess what? NOBODY knew that Peter was a traitor. That was the point! In canon, Sirius was never exonerated and as far as the Wizarding World is concerned - Peter Pettigrew was a hero who bravely met his end against the true traitor, Sirius Black, and was memorialized with an Order of Merlin, after his death. Peter Pettigrew was a masterful traitor because he got away with it up until his death and only a handful of people who couldn't do anything about it knew. Thus, Peter will be treated as a Marauder and I will make it clear why he is considered a Marauder, which makes his betrayal more impactful because it was a choice - and a cowardly one, at that.

Of course I have not read every SS/LE-what if story there is, but in the majority of the ones I _have _read where Snape and Lily reconcile and are shipped - James continues to hate Snape, but becomes an annoyance to Lily, at most. There is no sense of how badly James would have taken it, if Lily actively chose Snape over him and thus, this is the root of the arc that James presents, here in Part I. James is not used to losing or not getting what he wants and I cannot see the character he is described as in canon being anything like gracious about it to either Lily or Snape. Another major point I feel readers and fanwriters alike overlook about the JP/LE ship is: the positive interactions between James and Lily that led to their love in canon ONLY happened AFTER Snape was out of the picture as Lily's friend, for good. Would this same positive interaction be there, if Snape was still in the picture and had been chosen over James himself? Would James be mature and respect Lily's decision, while moving on with his life? Would he still respect Lily as a person, after seeing her forgive what he sees as the unforgiveable - which was Snape calling her a Mudblood?

I believe the answer is a resounding no and I want to explore why the answer would be a resounding no. As well, in case anyone is wondering - James is NOT bisexual or straight in this story, but perhaps isn't ready to make this known. With this assertion, I'm going to explore the line of reasoning that suggests that his loud and tacky (and frankly, harrassing) pursuit of Lily was a cover and a distraction from anyone guessing who he was _really _devoted to. So - beware, slash ahead!

With this chapter, we start to get to the crux of why both Lily and Snape made their friendship toxic and what needs to be done to heal and get it past it, to have a true fresh start. We are made to forget in canon that Lily called Snape a cruel and hurtful name, every much as Snape called her one, though he did so first. I also don't get the feel that Lily understands what Snape goes through, being bullied and tormented, because she is a beautiful, popular, vivacious girl who every seemed to universally love. Now that she's made a different choice in than she did in canon, Lily is about to walk a mile in Snape's shoes - and this is what brings us to and through the necessary rough patch that's coming.

Reviews are welcomed and appreciated! The stellar response is what is motivating to write so quickly and get new chapters posted!]

[**Edited/Revised**: Dec. 2019]


	5. V: Faithless

**CHAPTER V**: _Faithless_

Lily could not bear to look at Severus.

The walk back from Hogsmeade had been silent and tense, filled with the echo and weight of the disastrous end that Potter and his cronies had made of the date that had been going well enough, so far. A soft drizzle followed them up the dampened lane that led back to the castle, their footsteps squelching through the mud seeming to be louder than anything else. Lily couldn't remember one time that she didn't have anything to say to Severus, where she'd been lost for words -

Until today.

Not even the trauma of yesterday had made her so lost for words that all she could do was stare at her feet.

Lily sniffed as discreetly as she could, blinking hard against the hot tears that were welling in her eyes.

Until the Marauders, Lily had never once known a moment when she couldn't speak to or look her best friend in his face.

Severus had been her best friend since she was nine years old. When her father had purchased the defunct mill in Cokeworth, she'd been more upset than she admitted, having to leave Cornwall and everything that she'd ever known. Cokeworth was impoverished and depressing, full of dilapidated buildings and harsh terrace houses, a dirty and filthy river with graying and foul-smelling water winding in a huge curve around the entire little town - as if marking it as a wallowing hole of gray unhappiness, a place where there was hardly any sun and no friendly faces.

Lily had spent an entire year in Cokeworth, alone and with nothing but her magic. Then, she had met Severus the spring after she had turned nine and her life had changed, instantly.

The friendship and loyalty that Severus had brought to the dim and unwelcoming dank of Cokeworth and her alienating Muggle life...it had been a light and a comfort that had sustained her for the past seven years.

No matter what changed, no matter how life challenged her, Severus was the constant in her life that she could depend on. Severus had been the one to tell her that her gift was Magic and that she was destined to be a powerful witch. He'd been the only one to accept and celebrate her magic and its power, especially as her parents and her sister became appalled, realizing that her magic wasn't an eccentricity that would go away with time and maturity. Severus had been the only person who knew and understood every cell in her body, accepting without condition or hesitance, and had made her feel that it was her destiny to rise above all that was mundane and embrace every part of her, as the skilled and powerful witch that she was.

She hadn't realized how much she had relied and depended on the safe space that was her friendship with Severus, how deeply interwoven in her every moment he truly was...

Not until now.

Not until this chasm stretched between them, aching and painful in its abrupt creation and ailen and uncomfortable in its intensity.

Somehow, despite their promise to start again and their determination for a second chance, Lily could feel the space growing between herself and her best friend.

Severus was right beside her, only a space or two away from her, as they entered the gates of the castle and began walking up the drive towards the Entrance Hall, but she couldn't recall a moment where she'd felt further or more isolated from him than she did now.

Lily swallowed thickly, as hot tears began to fall from her eyes.

This morning, despite the pain and shock of yesterday and the uncertainty of how they'd move forward, Lily had been full of hope that if she focused on her love for Severus and used every ounce of her Gryffindor courage to stay committed to the path of forgiveness - somehow, they'd make this work. It would not be easy, it would be challenging and there was no promise that it would work. Yet, none of that had been enough to break her hope.

There was nothing that was stronger than her love for Severus, Lily had realized with a pleasant thrill down her spine, because her love for Severus ran deeper and purer than any love she had for anyone else she knew.

Love and hope had carried her through all the tough moments today, as the reality of second chances and reconciliation had turned out to be more complicated than she'd imagined.

Until now.

Lily wiped at her eyes as discreetly as she could, as they ascended the smooth, stone steps that would bring them inside the castle.

One reckless and cruel encounter with the Marauders had been enough to destroy the hope she'd had for her love and her reconciliation with Severus -

And for the first time, Lily found herself understanding the hopeless and faithless feeling that the Marauders could inspire within someone, once they'd turned the full force of their wrath upon their chosen victim.

* * *

"I'm going to ask for the final time, Mr. Snape. What was it that caused this level of injury and why wasn't it reported to the Constubulary in Hogsmeade?"

Severus sighed, a deep and weary sound that seemed to come from within his bones.

Madame Pomfrey was relentless. He had parted ways with Lily in the Entrance Hall, with a half-hearted promise to seek her out after dinner, and his walk up to the Hospital Wing had been filled with thoughts on how he was going to explain the depth of his injuries to the overly observant and pushy Matron. Severus had known that he wasn't easily going to get away with whatever reasoning he gave - but, he hadn't expected this kind of dogged persistence from her.

She had been on a rather spectacular tear from the moment he'd sat on an empty bed near the back of the ward and she hadn't given him a moment of peace, since.

Madame Pomfrey wanted to know who had done this to him and wanted it reported to a number of officials.

Severus wanted her to stop pestering him with a question he wouldn't answer and let him have his wounds tended to in peace.

Madame Pomfrey was going to do nothing of the sort, it appeared.

"I fell, Madam Pomfrey." Severus said, in the same plain and blank tone he'd been using since she started insisting on his naming names and making a report. "There isn't any reason to report a fall on a muddy lane to the constables, when they'd tell me to do exactly what I've done - come and let you take care of me, as soon as I got back to the castle."

Madame Pomfrey emptied another bottle of dittany into the basin she had beside the bed, rather harshly. "Severus Snape, this was not the product of any _fall_," Madame Pomfrey said, almost angrily. "There is no fall in existence that would produce this kind of damage and I'd thank you to stop insulting my intelligence by insisting there is! This was an act of deliberately harmful magic, young man! In times like these, this isn't an incident that can simply be ignored or pushed to the side. Now, again - _who _did this to you, Severus?"

Servus winced as she applied dittany to one of the deeper cuts on his face.

Potter was getting better at his spellcrafting, Severus had to grudgingly admit.

Whatever spell this was, Madame Pomfrey had been incredibly challenged to find the counter-curse or a remedy for the wounds it left behind, and Severus had to acknowledge - the reason why was likely that Potter had created the spell himself. As much as it appeared to be similar to the Bat-Bogey Hex and functioned off of the same principle, whatever spell this was, it was meant to harm. The Bat-Bogey Hex was meant to embarrass and befoul the target with plasma from the spell and their own bodily fluids; it wasn't meant to _hurt _anyone nor was it capable of it.

If Potter was upping the ante when it came to the personal feud that had been brewing between them their entire school careers so far, then Severus would, as well.

As much as Madame Pomfrey wanted to know, this was a private matter that he wouldn't allow her to interfere in. Stoically, Severus continued to look ahead and simply replied:

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. When can I go, please?"

Madame Pomfrey pursed her lips together tightly, as she continued to apply dittany to the last of the cuts on his face. She wasn't happy that he was being so uncooperative, he could tell. But, when had telling authorities about what was being done to him and by who resulted in anything but a dressing down, perhaps the deduction of House points?

Severus had learned quite well that his word against the Marauders was worthless and stood no chance.

He was a literal half-blood, the son of a Muggle reverend and a pureblood witch of no wealth or influence or power in Wizarding Britain. His maternal family and her blood was his only connection to the Wizarding World, as he had been raised in the thoroughly Muggle village of Cokeworth, in the Midlands - and, the Princes were only barely purebloods. He wasn't handsome nor charming, this making his intelligence and raw power more harshly received than it could have been, if he were. There was nothing appealing or attractive about him, as he well knew, and he was more disliked and feared than he ever was respected or enjoyed.

Severus knew whose favor the deck was stacked in and it wasn't his.

Potter and Black and Pettigrew and Lupin commanded a small army of admirers and followers across the Houses, amid their collective power and charm and brilliance. If their little gang had been confined to only their House, perhaps a case for bullying could be made. But, how could such a diverse group of young Gryffindors ever be hateful or bullies, when they had friends across the Houses and weren't disliked by hardly anyone? Their popularity was their armor and their weapon, any complaints against them quickly buried as lone dissension and jealousy towards the group of fun and shining boys who never met a stranger and were loved by all. Complaints were acts of jealousy that the complainer wasn't included or accepted by the Marauders and their friends. Rarely, if ever, were the Marauders ever called out or treated as the repugnant bullies they were - and Severus didn't think this would change, after five years of the same.

If he'd heard it once, he'd heard it a hundred times. Severus was no longer in the mood to waste his breath, trying to get justice where they would be none.

A few more moments passed in silence as Madame Pomfrey worked, before she started at it again.

"Severus, this isn't normal and this isn't acceptable. You spend more time in my infirmary than any other student I know and it is a worrying pattern that I'm concerned about, deeply." Madam Pomfrey said quietly. "If you won't tell me who did this, then I have no choice but to assume that you were aggressed upon by an unknown personage in the village - and it must be reported to your Head of House, the Deputy Headmistress, and the Headmaster himself. There is procedure that must be followed, in the event a student is attacked while down in a visit to Hogsmeade."

Severus gritted his teeth. "There was no attacker of unknown personage! There wasn't anybody, so as I asked before: can we please stop talking about this and when can I leave?"

Madame Pomfrey's eyes hardened. "You really aren't going to tell me who's done this to you, Severus?" the matron asked, her tone making it clear it was his last chance to come clean and tell the truth.

Severus continued to stare past her, silently.

Madame Pomfrey squared her shoulders. "Very well, then. You'll be free to go at the end of the term."

"_What?_" Severus regretted his outburst almost instantly, as his still open wounds ached terribly with his shout. Madame Pomfrey dabbed at the cuts closest to his mouth, with a touch more pressure than she needed to. "What am I being kept for? I'm perfectly fine!"

"I'm keeping you until the end of the term under a mental health watch." Madame Pomfrey informed him briskly, as she began applying Essence of Murtlap to all of his wounds, the final step before bandaging them. "Several times this year, you've shown up in my Hospital Wing with grievous injuries that were created through the use of cruel and unusual magic. If there is no culprit, as you have insisted each time you've been in here, then the only conclusion I'm left to come to is that you're doing this to yourself - thus, I'm placing you under a mental health watch until the end of the term."

Severus was lost for words, but had no small amount of outrage. Potter had attacked him in the street, after thoroughly humiliating and harassing Lily, as well - but, _he _was the one being held against his will until the end of the term?

The end of the term was next Wednesday, several days from now.

He had planned on spending every one of those days with Lily, doing whatever could be done to continuously bridge the chasm that he'd created between them. While going down to Hogsmeade didn't seem appealing anymore, not when their classmates all had the same freedom to be in the village as he and Lily did, they still had the whole of Hogwarts Castle and its ground. The castle and its grounds were vast enough that if they wanted privacy, they didn't have to go down to Hogsmeade for it. Severus had plenty of ideas of on how they could spend the day, away from anyone who'd intrude upon their private space, and he had been eager to get out of the Hospital Wing and get to preparing for tomorrow.

However, Madam Pomfrey had different ideas, it seemed.

"This isn't fair," Severus said, in a low, righteously angry voice. "I'm not mental and I don't deserve this!"

"You're absolutely right, young man!" Madam Pomfrey retorted. There was a certain fire about her, as she began snipping bandages with her wand and preparing to dress the number of cuts Severus had all over him. "It isn't fair that someone within this castle is doing great harm to you and you believe that you not only deserve it, but it should be allowed and nobody should think twice about it. Well, I'm here to tell you, Mr. Snape - it isn't something I'm going to stand for!"

Severus blinked. He wasn't sure whether to continue to be outraged or simply taken aback, as Madame Pomfrey began to dress his wounds with a plain white gauze. The gauze tingled and soothed his wounds instantly and briefly, Severus wondered if it were the magic or a potion that made the gauze offer relief like this.

"As Matron of Hogwarts, it is my duty to see to the health and wellness of every student, professor, administrator, or resident of Hogwarts, and it is a duty that I take _very _seriously." Madam Pomfrey applied the bandages so expertly, Severus could hardly feel them. "If I have no choice but to believe you've done this to yourself, I have to act appropriately. A mental health watch is a period of enforced rest, counseling, and recuperation, which you will complete in the Private Ward, right here in the Hospital Wing."

Severus frowned. He had never heard of the Private Ward and if Madame Pomfrey wasn't still bandaging his face, he certainly would have glanced around the expansive infirmary to be sure he hadn't overlooked another ward anywhere in the Hospital Wing.

Madame Pomfrey read his expression and shared: "There are many wards here in the Hopsital Wing, besides this public ward we're in right now. The Hospital Wing serves a diverse population here at Hogwarts and the full scope of the Hospital Wing reflects that. The Private Ward is a sealed ward only accessible through my office and often, it is used for those of my patients that require a period of withdrawal from the public to recuperate. A mental health watch falls under this category and is why I'll be assigning you your own room, within the Private Ward."

Despite himself, Severus found he was intrigued by this idea, this suggestion that seemed so very unfair.

"I'll have a private room, in this Private Ward?" asked Severus, quietly, cautiously. "And, nobody can access me or even has to know that I'm there?"

Madame Pomfrey nodded, resolutely. "That's correct, young man. I'm the only one with access to the Private Ward - not even the Headmaster can access the Private Ward, without my permission. Your private room will contain a bed, a desk, a private lavatory, as well as a chest of drawers and a window with a view. The point is not to isolate or punish you, but instead provide you with an environment where you can have uninterrupted rest and where you are kept comfortable and able to focus on your recuperation. I will be sending for your trunk from the Slytherin House dormitories and when the term ends next Wednesday, you are free to leave as early as you like to reach the station."

Severus considered this.

For nearly a week, he'd be provided his own private rooms within an inaccessible ward, where he'd have his own bed and the ability to be left alone, without having to look over his shoulder every few minutes for the approach of an aggressor. No Marauders. None of his fellow Slytherins, who were fair-weather friends at best and knowing agitators at worst. Nobody but himself, as he slept and read and studied and sorted through the complicated tangle his life had become over the past year - especially within the past couple of days.

Severus frowned. There was only one problem, one glaring problem that made him react with outrage to start with.

"Would I be allowed to have visitors? Only one, really."

"It would depend upon who it was and if I deemed them to be a threat to the stability and wellness of your mental health." Madame Pomfrey examined his face closely, one final time, before moving onto his arms and his hands. "Is there someone you had in mind for me to consider?"

Severus cleared his throat. "Lily Evans."

Madame Pomfrey made a noise of acknowledgement. "I don't believe Miss Evans would be a problem. You'd be on a curfew, however. The same visiting hours as if you were patient in the public ward, of course."

Severus breathed out in relief. That was better than what he'd hoped for, honestly. He was sure that Madame Pomfrey was doing this to punish him or isolate him, until he gave into her demands that he reveal the names and identities of his agressors. But, a week in a hidden ward that nobody knew about, with his own private room and the ability to have Lily visit him...this didn't seem like much of a punishment.

Quietly, Severus breathed out. "Alright then. When does this mental health watch start?"

Madame Pomfrey looked up from bandaging his arms, only his swollen hands left to put thin, white bandages on. She appeared more relieved than anything. "Right now, Severus. As soon as I finish with your hands, I want you to head to my office, and I'll show you to your rooms."

Severus nodded, unable to fight Madame Pomfrey any longer. Out of all the staff and professors here at Hogwarts, Madame Pomfrey seemed to see him clearly - but, it was this clarity that made her gaze uncomfortable and demanding at times, as well. Times like this. Somewhere within him, he knew that she wanted to know so that she could help.

Severus, however, didn't think that the Marauders - Potter, in particular - was a problem she had the ability to solve.

Potter, Black, Pettigrew, and Lupin were a problem that he had to solve and he alone had to solve, because nobody else understood how deep of a problem they were.

Severus allowed Madame Pomfrey to finish his bandaging his hands in peace, as a strange anticipation began to build within him about starting a mental health watch that he was so opposed to, when she'd first suggested to him.

He would take this week to enjoy the isolation and privacy of the Private Ward, sealed away from the world and with the ability to be with Lily without the interference of anyone else - and then, he'd would leave Hogwarts with an entirely new vigor for creating a plan that would solve the problem that was the Marauders.

For good.

* * *

Lily had allowed her feet to lead her whether they felt like, as she remained lost in her head and overwhelmed by her heart.

She hadn't thought about where she was going and her feet had simply followed a familiar path, the path that had become known as home in the five years that she'd been at Hogwarts. Lily turned the corner that lead to the corridor where the portrait of the Fat Lady could be found. Gryffindor Tower was likely to be full and lively on a Saturday evening, the last weekend of the year, but she could quickly slip through the crowds and be in her bed.

A fine-boned pair of hands clutched at her shoulders and pulled her off to the side, just before she reached the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"I can't allow you to go in there, Lily." Fabian Prewett declared, holding her by her shoulders and looking down his nose at her as if she were an errant child. "You need to find somewhere else to be until curfew."

Lily frowned. "Excuse me? What are you talking about?"

Fabian pulled her further to side of the corridor, sharply. A group of Gryffindors passed them, chatting happily and laughing, and Fabian waited until they'd gone into the Common Room to speak again.

"It would be in your best interest if you waited until our childish and uncultured fellow Lions have largely cleared out of the Common Room. I would suggest a soak in the prefect's bathroom, leisure time in the library, or perhaps, taking on an extra set of rounds and giving the Hufflepuffs a hand tonight." Fabian looked over his shoulder, sourly. "Anything but going in the Common Room is suggested, for the time being."

Lily pulled her arm out of his grasp, pointedly.

Abruptly, she was reminded of those months back at the beginning of the year when this behavior was common and expected, because he'd been her boyfriend. His strong suggestions of how she should spend her time, the somewhat condescending tones he'd used with her, the sour looks as he corrected her common behavior and lectured her on decorum and etiquette.

She'd broken up with him in a fit of temper shortly before the Christmas holidays and had never been more relieved to not have to deal with the headache Fabian Prewett was, in all his self-righteous. To have deal with this behavior once more was the last thing that she wanted to do, especially after the tumultuous day she'd had.

Fabian wasn't anything more than a fellow Gryffindor, a seventh-year that she would no longer see after this term ended. He didn't have any right to be touching her so familiarly or trying return to the same pompous authority he'd held sway over her, when they'd been going steady.

"Fabian, I've had a long day and I'm not in the mood for whatever this is. Can you please move, so that I can go into the Tower?"

Fabian shook his head, fiercely. "Lily, _no_. I simply can't allow you to go in there, not until the Common Room has cleared out, at least."

"_For what reason_?" said Lily, speaking through clenched teeth. Her patience was thinning rapidly and she didn't know how much longer she'd be able to feign this false civility.

Fabian swallowed, nervously.

"Lily, as you aware from our past association as paramours, I am an honorable wizard gentleman and I don't hold with the vulgarities common of our peers. Gossip is the supreme act of vulgarity and gossip against a maiden witch is particularly repugnant."

Lily tried not to glare. "Fabian, what are you getting at? What's your point?"

"James Potter and Peter Pettigrew have been in the Common Room, spreading the most heinous gossip about you since they arrived back from Hogsmeade." Fabian avoided her eyes, choosing to nod importantly a pair of first-years that were scurrying by them. "As is usual, Heir Potter and Steward Pettigrew are exemplifying behavior most unbecoming of the Ancient and Most Valiant House of Potter. Their antics have drawn a crowd of our fellow Gryffindors and I'm afraid their repugnant lies are spreading throughout Gryffindor House, rather quickly."

Lily blinked, hollowly.

The Marauders had made it back to Gryffindor Tower before she had. If Fabian said they'd been gossiping about her since they'd come back from Hogsmeade, Lily could imagine what was being gossiped about.

Her humiliating experience was likely being playacted to a crowd of her fellow Gryffindors.

Potter would be crowing with satisfaction how he'd attacked Severus with her panties, while Black would be imitating her own outraged words and tears in a mimicry that sounded like her and unlike her. Pettigrew would be proud of being the one to come up with the impressively cruel taunts, reminding everyone of the rumors that had long since faded from the attentions of the schoolwide gossip chain. Lupin hadn't been there - but, even if he had, his silence amongst his friends was telling and he'd be politely sitting amongst their friends and admirers, unspoken approval for the entertainment there was in his best friends' vicious exploits.

If Fabian didn't think she should go into the Gryffindor Common Room, where the Marauders were likely still holding court and deepening her humiliation, then they were likely crossing lines that she didn't want to know of. The Marauders were probably viciously in their element, muddying her name and feeling vindicated in picking at her and picking her apart, because of their rabid hatred of Severus and their continued disapproval of her bond with him.

Lily was well familiar with what it was like when the Marauders' locked their maws onto their victim of the hour. She'd witnessed it enough over the years, what it meant for one when one was disliked by the Marauders - but, never had she been the target.

Not until now.

The portrait hole opened, allowing the rowdiness of a Saturday evening in Gryffindor Tower to float down the corridor, and suddenly, Lily felt sick.

What if the shouts and laughter were centered on her, as Pettigrew regaled his cruel taunts about her virtue and her love life? Were the jeers and hoots she'd heard because Black was giving a near-perfect mimicry of her outrage and her humilation? How many times had Potter told the tale of their humilating harassment of her down in the village, with all the vigor of commentating a Quidditch match?

Just how hard had her reputation in her own House been impacted by whatever lies and rumors the Marauders were spreading about her to the whole of Gryffindor House?

Fabian seemed startled and sympathetic to the tears that welled in her eyes again. He attempted to reach out and touch her shoulder, this time in comfort, but Lily stepped back quite deliberately.

"Lily, I am on the way to report this behavior to Deputy Headmistress McGonagall and she'll come and put a stop to it right away." Fabian said, confidently. "It is truly detestable that the things that they're saying about you and I won't stand for it. Would you like to accompany me to the Professor's office?"

Lily shook her head. "No. I'm going to have a bath in the prefect's bath and take a nice long soak. Goodnight, Fabian."

Fabian appeared to be have something to say in response, but Lily didn't care to hear it. She turned sharply on her heel, determined to stem the flow of tears that kept brimming in her eyes and ignore the tightness of her chest. She would heed Fabian's advice and steer clear of the Common Room until she was certain that there'd be as few Gryffindors as possible to encounter, when she finally returned to her room.

Perhaps if she hadn't felt so very defeated and faithless at the moment, she would have stormed past Fabian in righteous anger and defiance. She would have blazed into the Common Room, soundly hexed Potter and Black and Pettigrew, and defended the honor of her own name, her courage to stand up to the golden bullies of Gryffindor proving that they were nothing but pathetic, cruel liars. It wouldn't have been the first time she'd pulled her wand on them and it wouldn't be the first time she'd had to hex any of the Marauders, either.

Certainly, it would have been the Gryffindor thing to do and it would have made her feel better, as well.

Lily couldn't find it in her to do anything like that, as she beat a determined path to the prefect's bathroom.

There was nothing of her Gryffindor courage or faith in her, after the awful, humiliating afternoon she'd had down in the village. Nothing in her that was up to the task of confronting and standing up to Potter and his gang, no matter what was being said about her and what impressions her classmates were latching onto about her.

Lily found herself with nothing but the unfamiliar ache of shame and defeat.

This was starting to feel as though perhaps Dorcas was right and that her willingness to give Severus a second chance wouldn't be anything like she'd hoped it would be. A second chance was supposed to be full of mercy and full of grace, the hope of a new beginning, and the faith of knowing that Severus knew she loved him - and she believed him worth of her love.

Instead, this second chance was souring and rotting more quickly than she could stay ahead of it. The second chance at friendship and the promise of love was spiraling away from her into something she didn't know or recognize -

Nor did she know if she truly wanted, anymore.

* * *

A whole plate of roast chicken sandwiches, a salad, and a couple of glasses of pumpkin juice, a change in his wound dressings, and a full vial of Dreamless Sleep Potion had Severus in his bed, staring languidly at the ceiling and waiting for the elixir to overtake him.

The Private Ward wasn't as bad as he thought, but there was a certain loneliness about it.

He hadn't had to look over his shoulder in hours, he had been able to sit in as much silence as he liked, and he'd been able to hear himself think for the first time in what felt like years. All that had been missing was a visit from Lily, but Madame Pomfrey had been firm that his visiting privileges wouldn't begin tonight. He'd had to settle for writing her a brief note and letting her know that he was being kept in the Hospital Wing, with an invitation to come visit as soon as Madame Pomfrey would allow it.

It wasn't as good as seeing her for himself, but it would have to do for the moment.

Severus sighed deeply, as he began to blink slower and slower.

Tension he hadn't even realized had wound his every muscle tighter than a vice was seeping from his body, starting at the crown of his head and through every muscle fiber leading down to his feet. The elixir was beginning to pull at him, gently beckoning him into a deep sleep.

Madame Pomfrey had insisted that he needed his rest and he'd allow it, but as soon as he opened his eyes in the morning - there was work to be done.

Today...today had been the very last time that anyone would aggress upon him and come out on the winning end. He was no slouch at magic nor was he incapable of defending himself, but Potter had crossed a definite line earlier this evening, down in the village. He could hold his own in most instances with the Marauders, whenever they caught him unaware or cornered him in places they shouldn't be, and moments like yesterday - there hadn't ever been a moment like yesterday.

He still wasn't able to figure out how he'd not been able to get the upperhand on Potter yesterday.

Potter had been more powerful, more full of his own magical might than usual. He hadn't wanted to admit it, but today was only confirmation.

Something had happened within the course of this year that had made the Marauders more powerful and more advanced than he had ever known them to be before.

In their earlier years, Severus had been able to take Black and Potter both at once, which was often the case with the hateful pureblood Heirs. Pettigrew simply was not yet being a match for him, and Lupin too spineless to try him without either Black or Potter or both to back him up. The Marauders had always been able to get the upperhand on him as a group, but never on their own. Never had they been able to stand equal with Severus as individual, wand to wand, without a boost from another of their gang -

Until now.

Severus yawned deeply, as the mystery of Potter and his enhanced magical power continued to turn over in his mind.

Potter was now unnaturally strong and appeared to thrill on whatever he'd done to boost his power and his might. The past two days were proof that the arrogant pureblood now believed himself to be able to overpower and overwhelm Severus with his magic, all on his own - and he didn't think he'd be checked or rebuked for it, either.

The Marauders were up to something dangerous and against the law and though nobody believed him, Severus was more confident than ever that he was onto a trail that would see the Marauders dealt justice, once and for all. He had no faith in the image of youthful, exuberant, rowdy young men that the Gryffindor barbarians presented to the world - and, it was more crucial than ever that he go with his instinct and find out how to take the Marauders down, once and for all.

Potter and Black and Pettigrew and Lupin were around Lily, constantly. As Gryffindors, they knew where she slept, took all of their classes with her, and spent all of their free time in proximity to her, especially if they had a mind to.

The anger and bitterness in Potter's glare as he'd berated Lily and allowed his friends to make cruel, vulgar taunts about her still bothered Severus, deeply.

Something had changed with Potter and while nobody believed that it was a threat to Severus -

Severus couldn't help but feel it was a threat to Lily.

As the Dreamless Sleep Potion drew him into the darkness of a sleep sounder than he'd gotten in years, Severus knew with a certainty that a threat to Lily wasn't something that he'd tolerate, for one moment.

Lily was offering her love to him, if he could prove himself worthy of such a gift. A love that he could have never imagined would be for him, especially as he'd watched other wizards better than him petition for her hand and her love...Lily was freely giving him and would always give him, as long as he proved honorable and worthy.

Severus knew he had a lot of work to do to get to the point where he would be that wizard of honor and worth, but he had to start somewhere. He had to take the first step and it was clear what the first step would be, even as he fell into sleep.

The first step to being honorable and worthy of the love of Lily was protecting her -

Especially from the likes of Potter, but more importantly, from the likes of anyone who'd ever want to hurt her or do harm.

* * *

[**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: I'm not sure if it is fanon or canon that Madame Pomfrey is Snape's only true friend in Hogwarts and that she is very protective of him...but, I like it, either way. Snape needs allies and support, as he starts to change and become a better man and I like the idea of Madame Pomfrey being his most staunch ally!

Here in Part I, the antagonists are going to be the Marauders, because they're still in school. There is nothing I despise more than charm and popularity allowing people to get away with behaviors that they would otherwise be condemned for and we're going to explore this hard, with the Marauders. As with the Weasley twins, JKR seemed to think that as long as the bully isn't personally targeting Harry, the cruel spirit of pranks and teasing/bullying is rather entertaining. I don't believe it is and I don't like the narrative that suggest that it could be. The individuals that the Marauders were written to be were awful, awful people of questionable character and I plan on having them answer for the vendetta against Snape and its utter, utter cruelty.

Also, Lily has a few hard knocks to experience here, too. I know that people were concerned that I would only put fault on Severus for what is going on, but that isn't the case. Lily will be experiencing quite the growing pains since her choice is now to love Severus, but I'm confident that it will make for a more well-rounded character and someone deeper than what we saw in canon. Romance isn't too far off, we just have a few hard conversations to have before we get there!

Thank you for all the reviews! I will be updating on an as-written basis, as I caught up with myself and am now writing new chapters - but, they'll be posted just as soon as I finish writing and proofing. See you next chapter!]

[**Edited/Revised**: Dec. 2019]


	6. VI: Eyes Wide Shut

**CHAPTER VI**: _Eyes Wide Shut_

"Miss Evans! What is the meaning of this? Are you hurt? Is there an emergency in Gryffindor House?"

Lily blinked, surprised. She realized for the first time what her frenzied banging upon the locked Hospital Wing doors could be taken as, and was briefly embarrassed.

When she received the post from Severus, his familiar, spiky scrawl seeming half-hearted or perhaps weak - Lily had been struck with fear and didn't think twice about rising from her bed. Blindly tossing on her robes, all her thoughts had been on Severus and what damage Potter could have done to where Severus had to be kept overnight in the Hospital Wing. Where he was in such poor condition that he couldn't have visitor.

As she stood before a hawk-eyed Madame Pomfrey, it occurred to her that perhaps her worry could have waited until the five o'clock hour, the earliest that students could leave their common rooms.

Until an hour of the night where Madame Pomfrey didn't believe an act of life and limb had occurred and a Gryffindor prefect had been sent to fetch her.

"Actually, Madame Pomfrey...I wanted to know if Severus was alright."

Madame Pomfrey raised her dark brows, almost incredulously. "I beg your pardon?"

Lily tried not to look as silly as she felt, as Madame Pomfrey stared her down. In the steadiest voice she could find: "I received a note from Severus, saying that you were keeping him overnight in the Hospital and he was so unwell, he couldn't have visitors. I understand that rule and I'm sure it's for his own good, but Madame Pomfrey - I'm so worried. Especially after what happened down in the village, this afternoon."

Madame Pomfrey's entire bearing changed. "So, there was something that occurred down in the village? I thought so." Opening the door wider, Madame Pomfrey beckoned her in and said, sternly: "Miss Evans, this is highly inappropriate and is to be frowned on with your station as a prefect for Gryffindor House, I hope you realize. However, I am more concerned about Mr. Snape than I am about rule-breaking, in this case. Come in, let's have a seat in my office."

Lily thought that she would have been soundly berated and sent back to bed, upon revealing that there was no emergency and she was horrifically breaking curfew for her own interests. Madame Pomfrey cared about the rules as much as any professor - perhaps more, considering that she was responsible for the welfare and care of all the castle's residents. Instead, the rules seemed to be completely forgotten as Madame Pomfrey lead her through the low-lighted Infirmary. A couple of beds had drawn curtains and Lily wondered if Severus was behind one of the bed curtains, but Madame Pomfrey didn't give her a chance to ask or see for herself.

Madame Pomfrey closed the door behind them, firmly, after they'd entered her office.

A beautiful window arched from the floor to the ceiling and dominated the far wall of Madame Pomfrey's office, providing what was likely a stunning view of the mountains in the distance. As it was the middle of the night, Lily could only see countless stars and the dark shapes on the horizon. She settled into one of the two armchairs that were arranged comfortably before the window, as Madame Pomfrey seated herself in the opposite chair, and a wave of her wand had a small tea service appearing between them.

"I'm sorry about being so disruptive, Madame Pomfrey, honestly. I just - I just had to know about Severus. I had to." Lily leaned forward, her red-wine hair falling from its messy ponytail and in her eyes. Anxiously, she brushed it out of her face, as she demanded to know: "How is he? What's happened to him?"

Madame Pomfrey took a long sip of her tea, staring at Lily openly.

"Mr. Snape is resting, after experiencing a cruel and unusual magical assault, late yesterday afternoon. I'm keeping him for reasons that don't pertain to his attack, but is in the best interest of his health." Madame Pomfrey said, her voice soft but clear. "I must confess, I'm very concerned about how this attack came about. Mr. Snape refused to disclose to me, but you appear to have knowledge of what happened, from what you said a few moments ago."

Lily looked down at her tea. The wedge of lemon twirling around her cup was easier to look at than Madame Pomfrey.

"I'm going to ask you, Miss Evans, and if you care about Severus as you seem to, then you'll answer honestly."

Lily still didn't look up.

"What happened to Severus Snape down in Hogsmeade Village, yesterday afternoon?"

Lily wanted to remain silent, loyal to the silence that Severus had invoked and not sharing something with the matron that he clearly didn't want her to know. However, Madame Pomfrey was right. More right than the matron was likely to realize.

"Please don't tell him that I told you this. Severus doesn't like when he comes out on the losing end of his little rivalry that they have - and he'd be embarrassed for me to repeat what happened." Lily said, quietly, unable to look at Madame Pomfrey directly.

"You have my confidence, Miss Evans." Madame Pomfrey replied gently. "I'm only looking to understand what happened so that I can best help Severus, not so that I can make him feel a particular way about having to receive my help."

Lily nodded, a touch relieved.

"Severus has this foolish rivalry with Potter, Black, Pettigrew, and Lupin. Since the first train ride, they've disliked one another and been at odds - and this was before we even got to school and we became Gryffindors, while he became a Slytherin. That seemed to make even worse, really..."

Madame Pomfrey was listening patiently.

"I don't know if it is jealousy or competition or what, but they've been almost at war with one another since we were first-years and it hasn't let up since." Lily shook her head, thinking about those early days and how far they seemed, but how very important they were to the hostilities that continued to get worse. "Severus had his gang in Slytherin, Potter has his gang in Gryffindor, and...they just go after one another like rabid hippogriffs, in this neverending guerilla war. That's how today happened, Madame Pomfrey." Lily angrily remembered how Potter had used her undergarments most humilatingly, looking up and declaring: "Potter and his gang were the culprits this time. Potter and his gang that attacked Severus today, when we were down in Hogsmeade and it was James Potter who used that spell on him."

Madame Pomfrey made an irritated noise, setting down her cup of tea, rather sharply. "I figured as much. Thank you for telling me the truth, Miss Evans. Have you any idea what spell it was that Mr. Potter used against Mr. Snape?"

Lily frowned. "Now that you mention it, no. I don't. I've never seen a spell like that before and Potter didn't use an incantation for it."

"Spell-hacking or spellcrafting, then," Madame Pomfrey said, almost to herself. Standing up from her chair, Madame Pomfrey walked across her office briskly towards the rounded file cabinet in the corner. She removed a rather thick file from it, as if it were common, and then returned back to her arm chair, armed with a quill and a floating bottle of ink. "Miss Evans, I'll be putting your description of events in Mr. Snape's record, so that this information is on file. I'll be going to Professor McGonagall and Headmaster Dumbledore, immediately, with this information and filing a report."

"I thought you said that Severus was alright." Lily allowed her own cup of tea to be sat on the low table between them. Suddenly, her hands were shaking and she was leaning forward, anxiously. "Madame Pomfrey, what's wrong with Severus? It has to be something serious, if you're going to both McGonagall and Dumbledore."

"_Professor _McGonagall and Headmaster or _Professor _Dumbledore, Miss Evans," reminded Madame Pomfrey, almost chastising. "Severus will be fine, but what is not fine is this behavior from a student here at Hogwarts. Spell-hacking is a dangerous practice that results in injuries such as these, especially when misused, and Mr. Potter's Head of House and the Headmaster must be informed of this."

Lily frowned. "If Severus will be alright, then I don't see why it's necessary to let them know. They've always had this rivlary, Severus and Potter." Lily rolled her eyes, irritably as she added: "This stupid rivalry of theirs is foolish and gets in the way of everything. But, it isn't that serious."

Madame Pomfrey paused in the middle of neat, efficient scrawling on a scroll of parchment, looking up sharply. Her eyes were hard, although not unkind, as she laid her quill down and looked at Lily, baldly.

"Miss Evans, what James Potter and Severus Snape have is not a rivalry - it is a concentrated vendetta against Mr. Snape, with Mr. Potter escalating in his aggression, most disturbingly. This latest act of aggression, which you described to me yourself, is an escalation that must be brought to the Headmaster's attention."

"Severus gives as good as he gets and he isn't entirely innocent, either." Lily recalled the many times she'd seen Severus soundly trounce Potter and Black by himself and had faced the whole group of them, without flinching and with twice as much fire. "He has been on the losing end lately, sure - but, that's to be expected. Potter and Black and all the Marauders, they're finally catching up with him, because we're growing up."

Madame Pomfrey shook her head, irritably. "Miss Evans, I don't think you understand what you're talking about. May I ask why you came up here to the Hospital Wing in such a panic, if you don't think this rivalry is that serious or that Mr. Snape just came out on the losing end?"

Lily blinked. "Severus is my best friend and I - " Her mouth clicked shut, unable to voice to Madame Pomfrey what she'd freely been able to tell Severus. Hoping that she wasn't blushing, Lily instead answered: "I was worried what could have happened that he'd have to be kept overnight and I wanted to be sure that Potter didn't go too far, this time."

"Mr. Potter has been going too far for a while before this, Miss Evans - let me be the one to tell you!" Madame Pomfrey eyed her again, asking: "Do you have any idea how many times Mr. Snape has been in my Hospital Wing, behind something that Mr. Potter - or, Mr. Black or Mr. Pettigrew - have done to him?"

Lily picked up her tea cup, once more, taking another deep sip. "A few? As many times as he's sent them here, I'm sure."

"No, Miss Evans. Mr. Snape has been in my Hospital Wing every other day this year, if not more. A stark uptick from the previous four years, when they'd be often - but not alarming."

Lily's eyes widened. "_What_?"

"It is my belief that this escalation in his visits to my Infirmary this year has to do with the fact that this is the first year that Mr. Snape has not had the advantage of increased numbers and older peers." Madame Pomfrey was glaring as she pointedly said: "This year, Mr. Potter and his friends appear to have found themselves with the upperhand - and, most disgustingly, they are completely exploiting the uneven odds and escalating to what appears to be intentional cruelty and abuse against him. There is no rivalry, Miss Evans - this is a strategic and increasingly violent stragem against Mr. Snape, because he has the disadvantage of singularity against their collectivity."

Lily couldn't believe her ears, but something unpleasantly cold was creeping down her spine. The chill of truth that she couldn't deny, for it was coming from Madame Pomfrey herself, who sat across from her with a thick file that must belong to Severus - a health record, filled with too many entries and in only a few short months.

Every other day, Severus was here in the Hopsital Wing - from injuries or harm that the Marauders had inflicted on him?

Lily hadn't been able to see him almost every other day herself, because of the demands of their fifth-year and her duties as prefect. It was easy to see Marlene and Dorcas every day, as they were the Head Girl and a Hufflepuff prefect - but, her friendship with Severus had taken the brunt of her busy schedules, especially as they were in two different Houses.

The Marauders finding the time to deliberately seek out Severus and harrass and attack him until he needed to go to the Hospital Wing - every other day! - was unthinkable. Now that they were all in fifth-year, Lily knew that the amount of free time that they all had continuing to dwindle steadily throughout the year. Lupin was a prefect like her, while Pettigrew and Black and Potter were all involved with the Quidditch team; Black was a Beater, while Pettigrew was the announcer, and Potter was the lead Chaser and Captain, to boot. There was hardly any time to sleep, with additional responsibilities added on to their strenuous homework load and demanding academics, as Lily knew herself from her prefectship.

Somehow, the Marauders had found time to escalate their attacks against Severus. They were planning these attacks, deliberately exploiting the odds, and harming Severus enough that Madame Pomfrey was ready to report them to the Headmaster himself.

How was something like that possible? Where were they finding the time and the energy?

Lily must have said this aloud, through her confused shock, for Madame Pomfrey made an angry noise.

"Exactly my own sentiments, Miss Evans. This has gone far enough! Mr. Snape came into my Infirmary today, covered in blood and with hexed lacerations that took a firecall to St. Mungo's to stop the bleeding. He refused to say who his attacker was, but I had my suspicions. Now, thanks to you - I have more than suspicion, I have proof."

Lily swallowed, thickly.

"Madame Pomfrey, when Severus comes in here with injuries from the Marauders...how bad is it?"

Madame Pomfrey looked up from the scrolls in her lap. "Has Mr. Snape not shared with you about his visits to the Infirmary?" When Lily shook her head, sadly, Madame Pomfrey sighed and said: "Miss Evans, I cannot disclose to you anything about Mr. Snape's treatment here in the Hosptial Wing. However, I will make this clear - if what went on between Mr. Snape and Messrs Potter, Black, and Pettigrew was once a rivalry, it is no more. This interaction has long surprassed a rivalry and turned on Mr. Snape, against his favor. Based off of what you've told me. I can say that this is a clear escalation in aggression and violence from these Gryffindor lads, and it is time something is done about it."

Madame Pomfrey scribbled angrily on her scrolls, as she continued.

"If what Mr. Snape endured at the hand of those reckless boys would have been done by a parent or guardian, it would be abuse! Therefore, there is no reason it cannot be seen as assault, coming from his peers." Madame Pomfrey closed the folder sharply, adding: "This may very well be my last opportunity to help him, considering that lower form ends in but a few days. I won't see it wasted and I will see these young wizards held accountable, for the level of assault and cruelty they've targeted their fellow student with!"

Madame Pomfrey seemed to have a spring in her step, as she marched back over to the rounded file cabinet and replaced the file on Severus, back where she'd fetched it from. Her shrewd dark eyes were determined, as she looked at Lily not unkindly, and said: "While I don't approve of your rule-breaking to come down here, I do appreciate you coming forward with the truth about what happened to Mr. Snape. If you wait here for a few moments, I'm going to do my three o'clock rounds, and then I'll escort you back to Gryffindor Tower."

Lily waited until Madame Pomfrey had closed the door behind her, before she allowed the hot and miserable tears to begin falling into her lap.

She hadn't believed Severus.

Her own best friend had been trying to tell her that he was in trouble, make her understand the truth of the dire situation that he was in and how much he was suffering for it. Instead, she'd chosen not to believe him and chastise him for being sour that the Marauders were catching up to him in power and might and able to give as good as they were getting.

Fifth-year had brought so many changes, as the last year of lower form, and Lily had been too preoccupied with her own challenges and anxieties to truly see what was before her eyes. It had been easier to believe that Severus was being a spoilsport and had his pride bruised by no longer having the upperhand. Easier to believe that perhaps he was getting his due, after years of exploiting his associations and connections to powerful upper form students while soundly trouncing the Marauders.

Lily had been so used to the rotten interactions between Severus and his gang of Slytherins and Potter and his gang of Gryffindors, she hadn't once thought that something had changed - something had become dangerous or deeply disadvantaged, for Severus.

Madame Pomfrey had been right.

Until this year, Severus had a gang for himself that was older, more trained than the Marauders, and unafraid to play dirty against lower form boys in the name of friendship and House pride.

None of the friends or allies that Severus had in their younger years were students at Hogwarts anymore.

It had no longer been a rivalry, once Severus was by himself and Potter continued to use Black and Pettigrew and Lupin to source more people to join in on their cruel merryment.

It had no longer been an exchange of spite and competitiveness, when Severus began to be ganged up on and purposely overwhelmed by boys who had bitter scores to settle from their younger years.

This year had changed everything and Severus had been suffering for it, deeply.

Madame Pomfrey came back into her office with soft footfalls. Lily got to her feet, wiping at the tearstains on her face, and looked at Madame Pomfrey, intensely.

"Can I please just have one second to see Severus and tell him goodnight? I just need to lay eyes on him and make sure he's alright." Lily watched as Madame Pomfrey frowned, and quickly added: "I promise, I won't come back tomorrow and I'll wait until you say he can have visitors. I just - really, really need to see him, Madame Pomfrey."

Madame Pomfrey looked at her, importantly. "You'll be back tomorrow, for I plan on reporting this and having a hearing arranged before the day's end. You'll be needed, as a witness to the reporting."

Lily nodded, fiercely. "Yes ma'am, of course. I don't have prefect rounds tomorrow, so just let me know." With a new resolve humming in her chest, Lily stood up straight as she said fiercely: "I'd do anything to help Severus and I'm fed up with this behavior from Potter. I'll do whatever I need to, Madame Pomfrey."

Madame Pomfrey gave her an approving smile. "Good girl." Her smile softened, as she beckoned Lily to follow her. "I'll permit you to bid Mr. Snape goodnight, but he's under Dreamless Sleep. He won't know you're there, so all you'll be able to do is bid him goodnight. Come, Miss Evans."

Lily was suprised when Madame Pomfrey walked cleanly through the smooth brick of her office wall, right beside the rounded filing cabinet. She stood in shock for a moment, before scurrying after Madame Pomfrey, shivering as the magic of the concealed archway washed over her. They were in a long corridor, filled with the dim glow of low-burning torchlights, and Lily couldn't help but be curious at the number of doors that lined either side of the corridor.

"Where is this, Madame Pomfrey?" asked Lily in a hushed voice. It was unnaturally quiet, even their footfalls silenced, and whispers seemed to be the most appropriate.

Madame Pomfrey looked over her shoulder, a smile pulling at her mouth. "This is the Private Ward, Miss Evans. Mr. Snape has a room here in this ward, where he is not to be disturbed, which is where my stricture on visitors comes from."

Lily wondered exactly what was going on with Severus that he was secluded on this hidden ward, but Madame Pomfrey stopped at the final door on the right hand side of the corridor. The frosted glass window covered the entire door and made it impossible to see inside. Lily steeled herself for whatever was on the other side of the door, as Madame Pomfrey eyed her, intently.

"Take just a few moments, Miss Evans - then, it's back to Gryffindor Tower for you. I promise, you'll see plenty of Mr. Snape, tomorrow afternoon."

Madame Pomfrey opened the door, allowing Lily to enter the private room where Severus was.

Something inside of her broke, when she came up alongside of his bed and looked down at Severus.

Gauze covered every inch of his face and his neck. Pinpricks of blood peeked through randomly on each piece of gauze, his normally pale skin absolutely colorless, and if it weren't for the strong, healthy rise and fall of his lean chest, Lily would have thought she was staring down at Severus in his burial casket.

How could she have ever thought that Severus was to blame?

Severus hadn't done this to himself. He hadn't put himself in this hospital bed, bleeding and carved up by a spell that no one had seen before - nor had he even started the incident that had led to this depth of injury and cruelty. Severus had resisted the baiting of Black and Pettigrew, despite still smarting from the attack from Friday near the Black Lake, and he hadn't gotten involved when Black and Pettigrew had returned with Potter.

Severus had tried to rise above their rivalry, likely as he had been all year since returning for his fifth year and wisely recognized the disadvantaged odds he had -

And, this entire time, Lily hadn't believed him.

"I'm so sorry, Severus." Lily leaned down to whisper the words, deeply aware of Madame Pomfrey's sharp gaze upon her. "I'm so sorry that I was a bad friend to you and I'm sorry that I didn't know this was happening. I promise, you're not the only one who's going to change - I am, too."

Lily touched her fingertips to her trembling lips, lightly kissing her fingers, lovingly. She reached out and touched her kissed fingertips to a part of his cheek that wasn't covered by gauze. His skin was warm, almost feverish, despite how pale and colorless it was from his wounds.

Severus turned his head towards her touch, a soft noise coming from his chapped lips.

Lily blinked in surprise. Madame Pomfrey had made it clear that Severus was under a strong dose of Dreamless Sleep - a potion only used in Healing to induce unconsciousness in patients that needed a deep, unbroken rest. Despite this, Severus seemed to know she was here, seemed to feel her touch as if he was awake and healed.

Lily smiled through tears, a warmth and affection for Severus comfortingly her greatly.

"Come now, Miss Evans." Madame Pomfrey said gently. "Time to return to Gryffindor Tower."

Although Lily would have loved nothing more to remain standing here beside Severus, feeling the warmth of his skin and assuring herself that he'd be alright soon enough - she obeyed Madame Pomfrey.

Severus made another soft noise as she reluctantly broke her touch, and Lily whispered a reassuring goodnight to him.

Madame Pomfrey closed the door securely behind her, walking quietly back up the hidden corridor to bring them into her well-lit office again. Lily couldn't help but be fascinated. She wondered what other parts of the Hopsital Wing there were that she'd never seen before and marveling not for the first time at the creativity and innovation of Magic that made it seem like the world was endless and ever-expanding.

"Thank you, Madame Pomfrey," said Lily, her voice hushed as Madame Pomfrey secured the Hospital Wing doors with a pulse of spell-light. "I feel like a terrible friend, but I just - didn't realize. I didn't know. You didn't have to tell me about Severus, but you did - and things are going to be different, from now on."

Madame Pomfrey looked at her, thoughtfully. "Have you and Mr. Snape been friends for long?"

"Since before Hogwarts," Lily said, with a little smile. "He was the one who told me about Magic and taught me everything I know about the Wizarding World, before I got here."

"A friendship that deep and with that much history is something sacred indeed, Miss Evans. Mistakes and forgiveness is a part of any healthy relationship, but as long as you're committed to your friendship - it will endure." Madame Pomfrey gave her an encourgaging smile, as she added: "Continue put your friendship first and no matter what growing pains and bumps you experience along the way - everything will work itself out, Miss Evans, I assure you."

Lily carried the matron's words with her as she was escorted back to Gryffindor Tower.

Her friendship with Severus was sacred and was what she wanted to put first - and now, she was ready to prove it.

If she and Severus were to have a second chance, then he could not be the only one doing the changing and growing. She had to do her part as well and her part started with believing Severus and trusting his word.

Never again would she doubt Severus and never again would she hesitate to put their friendship first.

Tomrrow, if Madame Pomfrey succeeded in calling a hearing that would address the behavior of Potter and his gang, once and for all, then Lily would be there, standing with the one who matter the most -

Severus, who was her best friend and the wizard she loved.

* * *

**Sunday, 27 June 1976**

Vanilla and almonds pulled him from a deeply restful sleep.

With a sigh that came from the rested contentment that filled him, Severus opened his eyes to a room full of warm, early afternoon sunlight and a stunning view of the mountains in the distance.

He was confused, only for a moment.

The Private Ward.

Madame Pomfrey had placed in him in a private room, where he was unable to be reached by anyone she didn't approve of, and for the first time in ages, he'd known peace. Severus had appreciated the silence and the ease that came from knowing he had this room to himself and the only person he'd see would be Madame Pomfrey. He had enjoyed a hearty dinner of roasted chicken sandwiches, taken a careful shower in a private lavatory that he didn't have to share with his irritating dormmates, and read without interruption until Madame Pomfrey had come to give him a Dreamless Sleep potion and dim the torches.

He had never known a day like this at Hogwarts, ever - and, if it weren't for Madame Pomfrey knocking smartly on the door, before letting herself in, Severus would have had a hard time believing that he was at Hogwarts, at all.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Snape. I thought you were going to sleep the rest of the day awake, which I would have let you, of course." Madame Pomfrey said, briskly, as she came over to him and began inspecting his numerous wounds. "How are you feeling today?"

Severus thought about his answer for a moment.

"I'm not in as much pain as I thought, but the gauze is uncomfortable." Severus shared, truthfully.

"As expected, since your dressings need to be changed. They appear to be almost completely clotted, so I'm thinking they can come off tomorrow or Tuesday, as long as the bleeding stops completely." Madame Pomfrey was swift and efficient as she examined his face and neck, then his arms and hands. "Very good, Mr. Snape. Another round of dittany and Essence of Murtlap, fresh dressings, and an antibiotic potion - and, you'll be halfway to healing!"

"Good to know," said Severus, around a massive yawn. "When will it be alright to have visitors?"

The loud growl of his stomach was clear in the quiet of his private room, which made Madame Pomfrey smile.

"Let's get you with a solid meal, see if you can tolerate a shower, and change your dressings - then, I'll let Miss Evans know that you're awake and she can come back by."

Severus looked up sharply, an ache going through his face and neck, but he ignored it.

"Come back by? She was here, already?"

Madame Pomfrey was scribbling on a notepad by his bed, continuing to smile. "Miss Evans snuck out of Gryffindor Tower and came making an awful racket until I allowed her to see you, for a moment or two. She was quite concerned for you, Mr. Snape."

Lily had come to see him in the middle of the night and that was why he'd awakened to the smell of vanilla and almonds.

His mind had drifted to her, endlessly, as he'd had dinner and read books in the isolation of the Private Ward, last night. He had been worried about her, the drawn and defeated look she'd carried back from Hogsmeade having been so unlike her - and, caused by Potter and his cruelty, the Marauders and their predatory glee in harassing Severus and all in proximity to him. Severus hadn't been able to stop thinking about how small and self-conscious Potter and his gang had seemed to make Lily feel - and, despite resolving to give her space and leave her be for the night, he'd written her a short letter and sent it with a house-elf.

Severus had been worried about Lily, as much as she'd been worried about him, and the thought warmed him, as Madame Pomfrey sat the notepad down, briskly.

"Alright, Mr. Snape - I have bangers and mash coming from the kitchens from you and if you feel up to it, you're welcome to use the shower. The dressings are charmed to not be affected by bathing, if you were concerned. Is there anything else you need in the meantime?"

Severus shook his head.

All he could think about was dark, red-wine hair and jade-and-emerald eyes, of the smell of vanilla and almonds that continued to linger because Lily had been there and been to see him.

Severus took a soothing shower, appreciating the better quality soap and shampoo to be found in the Hospital Wing and how he could take as long as he liked. His thoughts continued to be filled with Lily, as he dressed in his casual robes, and found his late lunch waiting for him on a tray on his bed.

Severus was nearly done with his second helping, when Madame Pomfrey returned with a levitated tray of all the supplies she would need to change his dressings.

"The house-elves have the best mash, don't they?" Madame Pomfrey said, knowingly, as she cleared his plate. "If there is anything else you'd like from the kitchens, the notepad is there at your disposals."

Severus made a noise of acknowledgement, but didn't want anything more for the moment. Madame Pomfrey began to work on the bandages on his hands and arms, alleviating the itch and ache that had started shortly after his shower. Several moments passed in silence as Madame Pomfrey worked efficiently, before she cleared her throat importantly, pulling Severus from his thoughts.

"I would like to make you aware that when Miss Evans came to visit, she told me the truth of how you recieved these injuries, Mr. Snape."

Severus stiffened.

"She had no right," said Severus, stiffly. "It isn't anything that I can't handle, those Gryffindor idiots."

"I would beg to differ, Mr. Snape. It isn't a question of what you're able to handle, it a question of addressing the absolutely abusive and inappropriate behavior of your aggressors - and getting this situation handled, once and for all."

Severus narrowed his eyes, as she finished up with his hands, inspecting his arms once more, and turned her attention to his face and neck. "What do you mean?"

"What I mean is that on Wednesday morning, you might leave Hogwarts for the final time and choose to not return for upper form - and thus, I would feel as if you were failed by this school, if this goes unaddressed and resolved by the administration." Madame Pomfrey's dark eyes were hard and meaningful, as looked at Severus intently, and declared: "I have reported this incident to the Headmaster, the Deputy Headmistress, as well as the Heads of Houses. Miss Evans informed me of who your attackers were down in Hogsmeade and Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, and Mr. Pettigrew have been called forward for a disciplinary hearing, tomorrow after breakfast."

A disciplinary hearing.

A formal disciplinary hearing would be held, with the Marauders under review - and, Madame Pomfrey didn't appear to be taking the mickey. The matron was deadly serious, as her sure hands began to refresh the bandages on his neck.

A disciplinary hearing would be a mark on their school records, following them as surely as a suspension, a censure, or an expulsion. The unnatural streak of luck, where they'd never been caught or truly disciplined, would come to a swift end with a disciplinary hearing and would put Potter and his entire gang under the close watch of the staff and administration. A disciplinary hearing would make it far more difficult for them to terrorize and prey upon him, because any infraction would be considered under a strike system following a disciplinary hearing.

Severus began to feel the sparks of vindication, as he considered this.

Potter could possibly fall from grace with his Quidditch Captaincy or be pulled from the team, while Black could see himself removed from the team, as well - and, the Duelling Club, for certain. Pettigrew could be kept from Quidditch games and prevented from receiving the student internship with the Wizarding Wireless Network, in upper form. And, Lupin -

Severus frowned, suddenly, earning a rebuke from Madame Pomfrey for the harsh expression while she dressed his many wounds.

"What about Remus Lupin?" asked Severus. "Is isn't he included in the hearing, too?"

Madame Pomfrey paused. "No. Miss Evans didn't mention anything at all about Mr. Lupin. Her full disclosure described Mr. Potter as the culprit of casting that curse on you, while an earlier altercation with Mr. Black and Mr. Pettigrew led to Mr. Black drawing his wand on you and threatening to physically assault her by pushing her down, while Mr. Pettigew shouted verbal abuse and encouraged the violence of both incidents, knowingly. Miss Evans didn't include Mr. Lupin in any description of what happened, so no - he won't be included."

Severus tried not to glare, with Madame Pomfrey intently at work on his forehead. "Well, Lily wouldn't say anything about him. She thinks he's...a friend, although that's the last thing he is." Frustrated, for Lupin being excluded from the proceedings feeling something like half-justice, Severus exclaimed: "Lupin is just as guilty as Potter, Black, and Pettigrew! He should be included, for he's probably the worst of them all!"

Madame Pomfrey blinked in surprise, pausing in going for his nose and his cheekbones, in order to stare at him, incredulously.

"Mr. Snape, I can hardly believe that Mr. Lupin has anything to do with the aggravated assault from Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, and Mr. Pettigrew - although, I wouldn't disagree that he keeps poor company, for friends." Madame Pomfrey eyed him with doubt, before she seemed obligated to ask: "Is there something that you'd like to disclose about Mr. Lupin, since you feel so strongly about his inclusion in a matter he wasn't named in?"

Severus felt a familiar but hated magic burn at his throat.

As he had since the end of the spring term, Severus strained against the cinch of the Nondisclosure Charm that Dumbledore had placed upon himself and the Marauders, after the night that Lupin had tried to kill him.

Where Potter and Black and Pettigrew had been eager and willing to be put under the spell, their swaggering Gryffindor bravado never more sickening than it was as they bravely accepted Dumbledore's enchantment - Severus had been full of righteous anger and helplessness. He would either accept the spell or accept suspension for being out of bounds after curfew with intent to cause mischief - a black mark on his school record that would follow him, from that moment forward.

Severus had bitterly accepted the spell and had been struggling under its influence, ever since returning back to Hogwarts after the Easter holiday.

It was a testament to how poorly his luck ran that he had an opportunity to tell Madame Pomfrey and had proof that she would listen and take action - but, Dumbledore's spell would prevent that. He would never be able to tell the truth about Lupin being a murderous monster and Black happily using Lupin as a weapon against him, while Potter and Pettigrew aiding and supported keeping Lupin on a leash as their pet werewolf - their new weapon of terror, an unthinkable escalation of their cruelty.

Despite Dumbledore's spell, he was determined to try.

"Madame Pomfrey, there was another incident involving Lupin that happened before this." Severus said, thickly, wincing against the sensation of an ichty, sore throat. The spell had registered that he was talking about Lupin, but unable to discern whether or not he was about to tell what the spell of the magic was forbidden to let him say. "It happened - before - before yesterday. Potter, Black, Pettigrew - they were involved, too - Lupin was a part of it, as well."

Madame Pomfrey eyed him worriedly, reaching to offer him his half-finished glass of lemonade, as he began coughing raggedly, a sickly noise coming from his throat.

"Miss Evans disclosed, as well, that there was an incident the day before yesterday. She shared that she felt the incident in Hogsmeade was a culmination of what had started, the day before." Madame Pomfrey looked at him, meaningfully, and added: "What would you like to tell me about the intiatory incident, Mr. Snape?"

Severus sighed, with deep frustration.

There was no point in trying to fight against the spell. If Madame Pomfrey believed that the incident by the Black Lake was what he was hinting at, she wouldn't think to ask him about anything else, and it would be best to not keep testing the limits of the spell.

Dumbledore had been very serious about the consequences of breaking the spell and speaking of that Full Moon night, when he'd almost died.

"Nothing that Lily hadn't shared already, I'm sure." Severus said, closing his eyes and making it clear that Madame Pomfrey could resume her work. "I think Lupin should be included, because he is a prefect and he doesn't do anything about his friends' behaviors. Seems a lot like abusing his power as a prefect, if you ask me..."

Madame Pomfrey made a soft noise, as she began bandaging his nose and cheekbones, with practied, steady hands.

"I believe Mr. Lupin can place the blame on his poor performance as a prefect, on the fact that he is ill and is a frequent visitor to my Hospital Wing. I won't take away from his high scholastic achievement or other virtures that got him appointed, but he's in this Hospital Wing at least monthly - and that's a terrible stress to have, prefectship with all that he has going on."

Severus remained bitterly silent.

_Illness_?

Madame Pomfrey was calling his beastly curse an _illness _and suddenly, Severus understood why Lily had been so confident that Lupin was ill and had a soft spot in her heart for him, as her prefect partner for Gryffindor. It was likely that the prefects and the Head Boy and Girl had been told that one of their number had a chronic illness that would affect his performance as prefect - and, likely told to offer him extra support and help, throughout his year as fifth-year Gryffindor prefect.

Severus felt his lunch sour on his stomach, as he took in the soft, dewy look the competent matron had as their discussion paused on Lupin.

Of course Madame Pomfrey would know what Lupin was, if he was transforming here on campus, caring for him after each Full Moon and keeping his secret, with sympathy and understanding. If she were referring to Lupin's curse as an illness, there was likely nothing that could be said against Lupin, in her eyes.

Although she was fed up with Potter, Black, and Pettigrew, preparing to see justice served after Lily had disclosed the rather violent weekend he'd experienced at the Marauders' hands -

Madame Pomfrey would never hear anything against Lupin and any attemps might turn her favor against him, if he persisted.

Severus was definitely glaring, as Madame Pomfrey focused on his chin and was near completion of changing his dressings.

"If you'd like, I _will _bring up the valid concern of Mr. Lupin's ability to effectively perform his prefectship, at tomorrow's discipline hearing." Madame Pomfrey said, as she finished up with her work. "But, as far as I can tell, from Miss Evans's disclosures, Mr. Lupin keeps poor company for friends, but he isn't involved in any of their transgressions."

Severus nodded, with an acceptance that made the thrill of first learning about the disciplinary hearing dampen.

If Potter and Black and Pettigrew were the ringleader of their gang of sycophants and admirers, then Lupin was their pet werewolf, who they had learned to weaponize and threaten him with - and, Lupin appeared to be above reproach, for allowing this.

Severus sighed, as he stretched his fingers and arms, appreciating the soothing coolness of the fresh bandanges. There was definitely something in the bandages that was helping keep the wounds painless and as least intrusive as possible, for he felt the difference, now that Madame Pomfrey was finished and clearing up her work station.

"Tomorrow morning, around ten o'clock, I will accompany you and Miss Evans to the Headmaster's Office, where the hearing will take place." Madame Pomfrey shared, turning to look at him meaningfully. "These young men will answer for their behavior, Mr. Snape. I'm sure you're not too pleased that Miss Evans told, but consider yourself lucky to have a friend who cares as she does, and is willing to stand up for you, as well as stand with you."

Severus looked down at his hands, blushing a little.

"I'm a lot more than lucky, Madame Pomfrey." Severus said in a low voice. "Lily is special, the best friend I ever had."

Madame Pomfrey made a little knowing noise, light and playful, as she walked towards the door with her tray of tools. "I'm sure she feels the same, Mr. Snape. As I told her last night - the friendship you have is sacred indeed and something to be cherished, in life."

Severus nodded fervently at the matron's words.

"I'm going to give you this antibiotic now that you've eaten, then I want you to take a nap." Madame Pomfrey held up a forestalling hand, as Severus opened his mouth in protest. "After you've taken a nap and let the antibiotic do its work, Miss Evans can come down for dinner, and you two can visit until curfew."

It wasn't what he wanted, but Severus couldn't find a reason to argue. He didn't think she'd change her mind, even if he did argue.

"Can you let her know that for me, please?" asked Severus, as he settled himself back in bed as instructed, not as opposed to the idea of a nap when faced with the remarkable comfort of his bed. "Let he know that I know she came by and make sure she knows I'll be looking for her, at dinner."

Madame Pomfrey nodded, smiling warmly at his insistence and looking far more friendly and open that he'd seen her so far. Perhaps now that he was allowing her to help him and had he had stopped resisting her, she wasn't as snappish with him. The brisk, edgy persistence to know why he was coming to the Hospital Wing so frequently and who was responsible - it had mellowed into something that reassured Severus.

With a sigh, Severus accepted the vial of antibiotic and took it as instructed, surprised that he instantly felt sleepy after his dosing.

He would take a nap, rest up more and be in better spirits for when Lily came to have dinner with him.

If she'd broken numerous rules and come storming the Hospital Wing in the middle of the night to check on him, something about her charm or her cheek allowing her to actually be able to granted a few moments to see him - Severus had no doubt she'd be there for dinner. Instead of being angry with her for telling Madame Pomfrey everything, Severus was instead appreciative that this latest incident with Potter had opened her eyes to the truth and she could apparently no longer look at Potter and his gang the same as she had before.

He hated how it had to happen, but Severus was glad that the long-awaited moment had arrived.

Tomorrow morning, Lily would be by his side and on his side, as she bore witness to the cruelty and recklessness of the Marauders - and with her by his side, perhaps he'd finally see justice served.

Severus tried not to become too hopeful, but with a massive yawn, he couldn't help the small, vindicative smile that curled his mouth as he fell into a pleasant sleep.

Together, he and Lily would bring the Marauders to heel. Tomorrow would be the first step on the road to neutralizing the Marauders' presence in his life, for good, and for the first time -

Severus was confident that people would have their eyes opened to who Potter, Black, Pettigrew - and, Lupin, by association - truly were.

There would be no more unseeing eyes when it came to the Marauders _or _himself, never again. The Marauders would be been as the bullying cretins they were and he would be seen as the truth-teller - with the exception of the one truth about Lupin he could never truly tell.

The thought of this pulled into a restful sleep, once again leaving him marveling at how different it felt to be at peace with what the next day would bring.

* * *

[**Author's Notes**: As I've said before, Snape isn't the only one who has to change and grow - Lily does, as well. A re-read of _The Prince's Tale_ in _**Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows**_ made it clear to me that Lily had an entirely different impression of the interactions between Snape and the Marauders, a rather one-sided perspective that didn't make sense and almost seemed willfully dismissive. Was it that she was only hearing one side of the story, from the Marauders in Gryffindor Tower? Was it because she wasn't around to see how badly the Marauders aggressed upon him? Was she not taking Snape as seriously as she should, because in her mind, their interactions were macho and overblown petty rivalry between boys? I think it could be a mixture of a lot of reasons, but whatever the reason is - Lily needed her mind to get straight and get the proper perspective on what was going on. This chapter was a nice little illusion-breaker, coming from a neutral but involved source, and I hope this is starting to address a lot of the complaints that people have about Lily's poor behavior as a friend, in canon.

And, yes - I will be going into the heinous order of memories we saw in _The Prince's Tale_ (the Werewolf Caper happened _**BEFORE** _Snape's Worst Memory?!) and exactly what JKR was trying to do with the timeline she gave us. My own fanon impression was that Snape's Worst Memory was the _prelude_ to the Werewolf Caper and it was all hushed up and forgotten about, because both these incidents happened in their OWL week and school was released for the summer after that. This even made sense to me as to why Sirius ran away from home; the news that he'd almost killed a fellow student couldn't have gone over well and he had to runaway to the Potters, because something drastic was going to happen. My fanon interpretation also lined up with all the facts - Sirius was sixteen at the end of fifth-year, Lupin didn't know what happened until after, the Marauders were likely already Animagus by that time, which is how they were able to all be involved in the incident instead of just Lupin and Snape. But, that's not what canon says. What canon says about the order of those incidents makes the Marauders seem...unthinkably cruel and beyond schoolyard bullies - and I don't think that's what she was aiming for. Or, at least I hope not.

I am not adverse to redeeming the Marauders and having them grow out of this antagonist arc, but there is a lot they have to answer for about their Hogwarts years and a lot I've always wanted to make sense of.

I really appreciate all the reviews and I hope I'm continuing to write a great story! These are some of the most thoughtful and engaged reviews I've ever received and I'm so happy that you all like this story so far. There is so much more to come, so please - keep following and reviewing! The next chapter is being written as I post this new chapter, so stay tuned!]

[**Edited/Revised**: Dec. 2019]


	7. VII: Bridging the Chasm

[**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: A lot of people have been asking if they are understanding my intent correctly and I want to clarify. When I say this will be a canon ending, I mean that the same events that happened in canon will happen in my story - but, will they mean the same or have the same outcome in canon? The answer is no. Will James Potter and Lily Evans both be at Godric's Hollow on October 31st, 1981 and be attacked by Voldemort? Yes. Will they be married, die for their son, and becomes the parents of the Boy Who Lived? Not necessarily. Will Severus lose Lily through her unexpected and premature death because of his own betrayal? Yes. Will Lily _stay_ dead once she's been killed? Not necessarily. Will Lily have a son named Harry, who is the child of the prophecy and is marked by Voldemort when he is attacked at Godric's Hollow? Yes. Will Lily's son be Harry Potter as he is in canon? Not necessarily.

This is what I meant by Twisted Canon. Canon events still happened but they don't mean anything close to what they mean in canon and that's why its Twisted. I promise it will make more sense, the further we get into the story, but please, rest assured - I'm not going to pull the rug out from under you by suddenly making this a J/L fic and this WILL be a Severitus fic, with Severus and Lily ending up together, in the end. Trust the process!]

* * *

**CHAPTER VII**: _Bridging the Chasm_

The dinner bells echoed throughout the castle directly on the six o'clock hour.

Severus closed his book with an eager snap, sliding from the comfort of his bed and sliding into his tunic, just as Madame Pomfrey knocked smartly, right on time.

"Come!" called Severus and Madame Pomfrey entered, with a pleasant smile.

"I've notified Miss Evans that she can take advantage of visiting hours until curfew," Madame Pomfrey said, as she began a brief examination of him. She appeared satisfied with what she saw, as she briskly announced: "I've opened the visitor's lounge of the Private Ward, located at the end of the corridor. Supper can be delivered there from the kitchens and I've recently put in a Wizarding Wireless, so I'm sure you two will find something enjoyable to listen to, until curfew."

Severus nodded, hoping he didn't seem too enthusiastic.

"Very well. All appears to be well with your bandaging and I don't see any fresh blood, which means everything is healing excellently. These can likely come off tomorrow!" Madame Pomfrey seemed satisfied, beckoning Severus to follow her lead. "Come, let me show you to the lounge, where you can wait for Miss Evans."

Severus peered around the corridor, curiously, as they walked towards an arch that he didn't remember from before. Columns of light fell irregularly throughout the corridor, noting that were there some doors that were opened and emptied and others that were closed and occupied, like his own.

Clearly, Severus wasn't the only patient on the Private Ward - a ward he hadn't known existed, until he had need of it himself.

Madame Pomfrey paused at the arch, nodding her head at the room beyond. "Here we are, Severus. None of my other patients on the ward will be out of their rooms tonight, so I believe you'll have the space to yourself for the evening."

Severus breathed out in relief.

While he hadn't expected that Madame Pomfrey would be liberal enough to allow Lily to come see him unchaperoned in his private room, he had been rather disappointed that he and Lily were being restricted to a public lounge. The lounge seemed similar to a common room and Severus had been wary, upon guessing there were other patients on the ward with him.

With Madame Pomfrey's assurances of privacy, however- Severus could appreciate the tasteful room that was the visitor's lounge of the Private Ward.

"When Miss Evans arrives, I'll direct her back here." Madame Pomfrey said, as she and Severus walked into the lounge and the hearth came to life. "Supper can be requested from the kitchens when you are ready, with the notepad on the mantle, and if there is anything you need from me, I'll be in my office or the Infirmary. Be mindful that curfew is at nine o'clock, Mr. Snape."

Severus nodded, solemnly. "Yes, ma'am. Thank you, Madame Pomfrey."

Madame Pomfrey left him to himself, her footsteps fading from hearing, as Severus began to walk around the lounge, curiously.

The room reminded him of the waiting room of a Muggle hospital, strangely enough.

Circular in nature, the visitor's lounge was a soothing blend of creams and golds, with arching windows that touched from the ceiling down to the floor. Before each window, there were a pair of armchairs and a small sidetable and the stunning view of the mountain range was sure to be comfort to anyone who was sitting in wait or visiting a patient. The thick, fragrant plants that were between each pair of armchairs were clearly designed for privacy, while there were a handful of couches in the middle of the room, if one didn't want to be alone.

The hearth dominated one end of the room and on the other end, the Wizarding Wireless Network sound system was sitting proudly on its own shelf that was surrounded by tall bookcases.

All in all, the visitor's lounge wasn't as bad as he had thought it would be.

Severus fetched the notepad from the mantle above the hearth. He'd think of what he should request for supper, while he was waiting on Lily. One perk of being secluded in the Private Ward was that he could ask for anything he'd like and wasn't confined to the options that were available at mealtimes - and, it meant the possibilities were endless.

As he studied the blank notepad and wondered what to write, the side table began to move on its own accord, elongating into a small, efficient bistro table between Severus and the chair across from him.

It gave Severus an idea.

* * *

The decision to wait until the dinner bells had drawn mostly everyone into the Great Hall was a solid one, Lily surmised, as she walked through the corridors towards the Hospital Wing in peace.

She couldn't wait to see Severus and spend the evening with him, wanting to lay eyes on him herself and see that he was alright.

"Good evening. What ailment are you were to see Madame Pomfrey about?"

Lily blinked, unsure of how to answer the Ravenclaw boy that appeared before her as soon as she entered the Hopsital Wing.

"Um, well - Madame Pomfrey told me to come by around dinner." Lily cleared her throat as the Ravenclaw raised his brows insistently, adding rather pointedly, "It's about a private matter she's aware of that I'd rather not say."

The Ravenclaw wizard nodded. "Fair enough. I'll seat you by her office and she be with you in a moment."

The comfortable bench that Lily was directed to was right outside of Madame Pomfrey's office, giving her a view of the public ward as she waited.

Madame Pomfrey was occupied with several students at once, but it didn't seem that she lacked for help.

Besides the Ravenclaw, there were three other students in the Hospital Wing that were not bedbound - and they appeared to be Madame Pomfrey's assistants, carrying trays of tools or carefully providing basic first aid. A seventh-year Gryffindor she recognized as Gretchen Marchbanks was wrapping the ankle of a lower form student in gauze, while a Hufflepuff wizard was helping Madame Pomfrey administer dosages of potions to a student that was turning colors and coughing racously. Lily knew it was rather childish and unfair, but she was rather surprised that a Slytherin was rounding out the student helpers. Lily didn't know or recognize the witch personally, there was very little fault to be found with her as any rate, as she patiently fed dinner to a student with both hands bandaged, with a very kind smile on her face as she did so.

Each of Madame Pomfrey's helpers were represented from each House at Hogwarts and with no little amount of curiosity, Lily wondered what one had to do in order to earn an important position as assisting Madame Pomfrey.

Madame Pomfrey left the Hufflepuff student to finish administering the remaining phial, coming over to Lily briskly, with a slightly tired smile.

"Come, Miss Evans." Madame Pomfrey said, as another student appeared at the double doors. "End of term is always full of carelessness and last minute complaints before going home for the holidays. I'm going to be rather busy, this evening."

Lily nodded in understanding, as she followed Madame Pomfrey into her office. "It seems that you have help, however. I didn't know you had student volunteers."

Madame Pomfrey glanced over her shoulder, proudly. "Not volunteers, Miss Evans, but apprentices. Each of those students have completed an early admissions program that will accelerate them through the Healing program after they've completed their NEWTs. I have a wonderful batch this year and I'm proud of the work they do."

Madame Pomfrey held her arm through the unseen arch, so that Lily could step through - but, Lily hesitated.

"Apprentices? That's fairly prestigious for a Hogwarts student." Lily eyed Madame Pomfrey curiously. "I was under the impression that formal apprenticeships like Potions or Healing or Charms weren't given until after you'd completed Hogwarts and a basic education program."

Madame Pomfrey eyed Lily with the same curosity, a smile playing at her lips.

"We have what are called prep apprenticeships available to exceptional students, which counts for credit towards a formal apprenticeship and are overseen by several of us professors and staff. None of us take a student with less than 10 OWLs and the process is very competitive." Madame Pomfrey looked at her approvingly, adding: "Would a prepatory apprenticeship be something that you are interested in, Miss Evans?"

Lily blinked. "Without question, Madame Pomfrey! I had no idea - that would be an amazing opportunity - "

Madame Pomfrey held up her hand with a smile. "Consider your interest registered. Before the end of the come, be certain to approach one of the Heads of House and express your interest, formally. These apprenticeships are sought, not offered. Come along, now - Mr. Snape is waiting."

Her heart began picking up in pace as she and Madame Pomfrey walked down the long corridor.

Severus must be beyond the lighted archway, which Lily hadn't noticed last night but likely hadn't been open when she'd come in the middle of the night, frantic and worried. The soft tunes of the Wizarding Wireless echoed up the corridor, as Madame Pomfrey lead the way into a lounge full of warm, early evening sunlight.

"Mr. Snape - Miss Evans has arrived."

Lily felt her breath catch in her chest as Severus turned away from the bookcase, eagerly.

In the light of day, it was as if she was seeing Severus genuinely for the first time - and, Lily was ashamed that somehow, she had never once _seen _what was going on, for as plain as it was now.

Severus was covered with strips of gauze on his hands, his arms, his neck, and his face, seemingly every inch of open and available skin bearing the countless cuts that had come from James Potter's hex. Underneath the gauze, he was no better, however. This much was clear. Lily wondered how long his face had been too thin and pinched, his complexion more chalky than pale and deep, heavy circles under his intense, dark-brown eyes. His prominent cheekbones were too sharp in his face, his dark hair lank and long enough to be past his shoulders - and, for the first time, Lily could see that Severus hadn't known peace or rest in quite the long while.

Lily bit her lip, guiltily.

"I will leave the two of you with use of the lounge for the evening, but Miss Evans - curfew is at nine o'clock sharp and I expect your evening to be concluded by no later than a quarter 'til nine." Madame Pomfrey looked at them sternly, before adding in a much kinder voice: "Be sure that you both eat dinner and let me know if you need anything."

"Thank you, Madame Pomfrey," said Severus, with a sincerity that surprised Lily.

When the matron was gone, Severus looked at Lily with a softness in him that she'd never seen before and it warmed her, suddenly, fiercely.

"I'm glad you came. I wasn't sure if you'd want to be bothered or not - but, I'm glad you were."

Lily found herself stepping closer to him, as if drawn to him. "Of course I would come. I've been so worried about you, Severus. I came here as soon as you sent the note, but of course, it was the middle of the night and I was turned away."

Severus looked at her with dark eyes that were burning like coals, a smile tugging at his lips.

"Madame Pomfrey told me. I didn't mean to scare you with saying I had to stay - but, well - it isn't what you think." Severus nodded towards the windows, where armchairs were thoughtfully organized with a stunning view of the mountains. "Let's sit down and we can talk. I'll tell you what's really going on."

A happy thrill went through her, as Severus reached for her hand with more confidence than he had before and guided her towards a pair of chairs that were more towards the center of the windows. His hands were covered in strong, cool gauze but still steady and Lily nearly lost herself in the touch of their intertwined hands -

Until she was surprised by the lovely display of a dinner table for two.

"Sev, what - what's this? What's going on?" asked Lily, in awe.

The simple bistro table was set in a service for two, with beautiful copper cutlery, and a centerpiece that was stunning in its simplicity.

Lily couldn't help but be amazed at the cross-casting of an Orbitus Charm and a Bluebell Flame Charm, creating glowing orbs of blue and purple light that floated ethereally around a lovely bouquet of flowers. The blend of yellow roses and orchids were clearly the magical breed of the plant, for they moved of their own accord in an invisible breeze, emitting a constant perfume that was simply heavenly to Lily. While most people assumed that her favorite flower would be that of her namesake, Lily truly adored roses and orchids and couldn't choose between which flower she liked best.

Severus had remembered this, it seemed.

Severus cleared his throat nervously, though his voice didn't betray it, as he spoke determinedly.

"Yesterday didn't go as it should have, at all. So, I want to give it another go. Madame Pomfrey says that we will have the lounge to ourselves tonight and nobody else will bother us, therefore - I'd like to try and have the date that we should have yesterday." Severus looked at her, meaningfully, as he added: "I just want for us to talk and be able to do so in peace, without having to look over our shoulders every two seconds."

Lily couldn't speak, for a moment.

Severus allowed Lily a moment or two to gather her thoughts and get past the thickness in her throat, looking out the window patiently and waiting until she'd found her voice again.

"We do have so much to talk about," said Lily, quietly and heavily. "We've gotten so far off track, Sev - and, all I am sure of is that I love you and I don't want to lose you. I want us to fix this. I really, really do."

Severus turned to look at her, that same burning look in his eyes once more.

"We have all evening and we won't be bothered." Severus seated her in the chair opposite from him, without once breaking their grip. "I want to fix this as much as you want to fix this, so let's do that - because I don't want to lose you, either, Lily."

It was all Lily needed.

This had not promised to be easy nor did she expect everything to come together at once, but simply knowing that Severus was as committed to this as she was was enough to bring her a deep, knowing peace.

Severus was choosing her, plainly and clearly, unhesitating in his promise that he would not take this second chance and the opportunity to apologize and earn forgiveness for granted.

Little did he realize, Lily had decided the same for herself, with no further doubts in her mind.

She chose Severus, as plainly and clearly as he chose her, and Lily would apologize and earn his forgiveness as well, for her doubt and her inattention as his friend. Otherwise, the promise of her love meant very little, and it was the last thing that Lily wanted.

Together, she and Severus would take this second chance and make something beautiful out of it - and, she would use every ounce of her Gryffindor courage and fervor to see this promise kept.

* * *

Severus allowed Lily to decide what they'd be having for dinner. Once a full Sunday roast was requested from the kitchens, with fresh fruit to snack on in the meantime, Lily reached across the table and grasped his bandaged hands, gently but meaningfully.

Severus was surprised at the intensity in her eyes, as luminous and fierce as emeralds and jade. There was an ache in her eyes that he didn't expect and instinctively, he clutched her hands reassuringly, wondering what could possibly be inspiring such a look.

"Severus, I have to apologize to you and ask your forgiveness."

To say that he was bewildered would have been to put it lightly. Severus frowned, searching her yearning expression for any understanding of what she could possibly mean by it - and when he found none, his own words had finally returned to him.

"What in the name of Mordred could you possibly have to possibly have to apologize to me for?" Severus asked, his voice hushed and confused, all at once. "I'm the one who must seek forgiveness, you have _nothing _\- "

"Yes, I do. Don't interrupt me!" Lily said, fiercely, as he tried to do exactly that, protest still on his lips. "I want to apologize to you for not being the friend that I said I was and I especially want to apologize to you for not seeing the truth of what was going on with Potter. I was a terrible, terrible friend to you, Sev, and you didn't deserve that."

Severus swallowed, thickly.

"Lily, you don't have to apologize - you - "

Stubbornly, Lily shook her head, her red-wine locks catching the deepening summer sunlight strikingly.

"You've been trying to tell me for ages what scum Potter is and how awful his gang was, but I didn't want to listen." Lily seemed angry at herself, as she said with a hardness in her voice: "Yesterday, I saw for myself and Sev, you don't ever have to convince me again that James Potter and his gang are _rotten_. I believe you. I believe you and I apologize for not believe you this whole time, as I should have - because you're my best friend. I should have believed you as you would have believed me and for that, I'm sorry."

Severus leaned back in his chair, somewhat overwhelmed.

Somehow, he had imagined a conversation such as this being a fierce strike of vindication, a solid and unyielding validation that he'd been right all along. He had imagined that this long-awaited moment would be triumphant and all-consuming -

It was nothing like that.

Severus instead felt as though he could breathe properly for the first time in ages, as something tight and anxious dissolved within him and he felt a release that he hadn't realized he needed. Yearningly, hoping that she would not take her words back as boldly and fearlessly as she had offered them, Severus held her gaze - and found nothing there but sincerity and love.

"There is something different about Potter and Black and Pettigrew this year and whatever it is, I believe that it is making them more powerful than they should be. More powerful than they need to be. Lily, Potter and Black and their gang are dangerous." Severus offered, cautious of this newfound trust in his suspicions about the Marauders, but needing her to hear this while she was open to listening. "That's what I wanted you to see. That's what I've been trying to tell you. I wish I could make you see, I wish you truly understood - "

Lily made soothing noises, smoothly interrupting his increasingly fevered words.

"Sev, calm down. I believe you. I promise, if you say they are dangerous - _I believe you_."

"It makes me nervous to know you're in Gryffindor Tower with them," Severus confessed quietly, steadying himself as he shared something else with her that she hadn't wanted to listen to before. "Nobody believes they're the monsters they are, that their dangerous and murd - more than willing to harm others for a laugh. I hate that you're around them and vulnerable to them, especially after yesterday..."

Their dinner appeared on the table beside them, but neither Severus nor Lily paid it any mind.

There was something charged and intense in the air between them, as they held each other's gaze, their fingers intertwined and their full attention on one another. The Wizarding Wireless was filling the room with goblin jazz, the sun beginning to slowly inch towards disappearing behind the majestic mountain range. In this moment, this perfect moment, Severus realized the truth of what his words were trying to express - and, emboldened by Lily, Severus decided to continue sharing what he'd never thought he'd be able to say to her.

"Lily, I love you - and all I want is for you to be safe and protected. That's all." Severus was warmed by the glowing smile that erupted across her face and couldn't imagine anyone who looked more beautiful than Lily did. "All I wanted was for you to believe how dangerous the Marauders are and be on your guard, because I don't want anything to happen to you."

"I know this now and I understand, Severus - I really do." Lily held his hands as tightly as she dared, declaring fiercely: "Potter, Black, and Pettigrew aren't getting away with any of this another day. I'm with you, Sev - enough is _enough_."

As it had when Madame Pomfrey had intially shared the news with him, Severus was stung by the exclusion of Lupin - especially considering he was a literal monster, a beast.

Lily believed him about Potter, didn't have to be convinced about Black or Pettigrew, but he could never convince her of Lupin as he had the others. The spell itched at his throat briefly, as he sensed too much concentration on Lupin or the secret that he was forbidden to tell.

Severus let it rest, as he was forced to and would forever be forced to.

* * *

A mesmerizing sunset brought them to focus on their dinner, as the passing of time became clear. There was nothing like the cooking of house-elves, a literal magical art of its own, and when they'd eaten their fill and were considering pudding, Lily simply couldn't pass on treacle tart, freshly made from the Hogwarts kitchens.

Severus smirked at her and Lily grinned in return, knowing he was amused at how she relished every bite of treacle tart, as if were the first and last bite she'd ever have.

Lily hummed along with the goblin jazz that continued to come from the Wizarding Wireless, appreciating the open and honest discussions that she and Severus had been able to have over dinner. Her apology had made it clear that she was committed to starting anew in their friendship and as she'd hoped, Severus had believed her and accepted what she'd had to say. Lily couldn't remember ever being as open and close to Severus as she felt now, as they shared a quiet dinner and continue to talk through their problems.

Nothing would be solved overnight, Lily knew - but it was a start. A beautiful start that felt more genuine and balanced than anything she had ever known before.

There was nothing that could pierce the happiness that filled her, as she continued to reflect on how Severus had said he loved her - and, with that knowledge, they were truly coming to be on the same page, looking forward in the same direction.

"Are you still willing to tell me about what is really going on with you?" asked Lily, in a quiet moment between songs on the Wireless.

Severus looked away from the window, his dark eyes filled with a contentment she'd never seen before. He hadn't wanted anything for pudding, but he had taken a few bites of her treacle tart as she'd insisted, and seemed pleased enough with that. He'd been allowing her to enjoy her pudding in a comfortable silence, a brooding thoughtfulness on his face that wasn't diminished in by the numerous bandages - but, something of a smile tugged at his mouth, his eyes simmering with something that warmed her deeply, as he answered her.

"Madame Pomfrey is keeping me here on the Private Ward for the end of term, on a mental health watch, which means that I'm allowed to hide out here and rest until the train leaves on Wednesday."

Lily paused, her fork hovering over her second helping of treacle tart. "A mental health watch," she said, seeming troubled. "Sev, is something wrong? What's going on?"

Severus sighed and closed his eyes. "Well, it's complicated but not as bad as it seems. I didn't want to tell Madame Pomfrey what happened when I first got here yesterday. She didn't like that and decided that I'd done this to myself - "

Lily gasped, a mix of outrage and disbelief.

"She knows that isn't true, but I just - I didn't feel like saying anything, because I didn't think anything was going to come of it." Severus still had his eyes closed, but opened one to peer at her, reassuringly. "She understands, I think, what goes on and what Potter is like - "

"She was the one to call the disciplinary meeting, so I'd like to think so," said Lily, with a satisfied nod.

"The reason behind the mental health watch is because she wanted me to be in a place where I'd feel comfortable enough to tell." Severus opened his eyes and snickered, adding: "She was a Slytherin and applied quite an effective strategy. Hold me hostage until I told the truth, using nothing but the proof and truth to do so."

Lily blinked. "I didn't know Madame Pomfrey was a Slytherin. I suppose it makes a certain kind of sense."

"There's nothing wrong with me, she's just cutting me a break because she understands what it's been like." Severus said, quietly. "I hated the idea at first, but...I think I need this."

Lily smiled, gently, as Severus sighed, leaning his head back again and closing his eyes.

"You did need this, Sev. I'm glad that you've got this." Lily enjoyed a couple of bites of her treacle tart, before she shared quietly, meaningfully, "I like Madame Pomfrey. I'm happy that she listened to you and you've got peace and privacy for the rest of the term. I have the prefect's bathroom, when I want to just get away from it all - but, you didn't, and you need it just as much."

Severus made a noise of agreement.

The Wizarding Wireless announced the end of the goblin jazz evening as the eight o'clock hour approached, with soothing mermish choirs replacing the lively sounds that had carried them through the evening. Lily finished the last of her treacle tart, humming along as aimlessly as she had been when it had been jazz playing, when Severus sat up with a sharp sigh.

"What do you think will come of tomorrow?" Severus asked, something like a frown clouding his face, underneath his numerous bandages. "Madame Pomfrey says she'll escort us from here to the Headmaster's Office, right after breakfast."

Lily had been thinking of the same thing herself.

As the time approached for her to return to Gryffindor Tower and end her evening with Severus, the hearing seemed enroach on her thoughts more and more, and it was a relief to know that she wasn't the only one thinking intently about it.

"Something must be done about Potter and Black and their gang," said Lily, fiercely. "It is completely unbelievable that there is no consequence for their actions. I, for once, can't wait to have their behavior addressed by the Headmaster and get this solved, once and for all."

Severus made a noise she couldn't quite place, but it made her frown.

"What do you think?" questioned Lily, a touch pointedly.

"I think that we shouldn't get our hopes up." Severus sighed, heavily, as he continued, "Potter and Black...they aren't just dangerous. Unfortunately, they're powerful, too. I don't think that there is much that will be done, but at least this will be officially acknowledge on their records and someone will know about it."

"Potter and Black are sixteen years old. Just how powerful can they be?" scoffed Lily.

Lily didn't like the dark and dull look in Severus held in his eyes, as he shook his head at her disbelief. Something about it made her feel as if she didn't know anything at all, as if her hope for a satisfiying outcome was somehow childish or misleading.

"You'll see just how powerful they can be tomorrow," said Severus in a low voice. "Potter and Black have reach and influence that you can't comprehend and I have no doubts they'll use every bit, in order to avoid getting what they deserve."

Severus changed the subject as quickly as it had brought it up, leaving Lily with an uneasy feeling.

A while later, when it was time for her to head back to Gryffindor Tower before curfew, Lily couldn't shake the unease that Severus's words had conjured in her in her. Severus didn't expect anything to go his favor, while Lily trusted in the fairness of the Headmaster and didn't think he'd let something so blatant to go unaddressed.

Somehow, the bitter, jaded gleam in his eye said that there was a lot she didn't know -

And, above all else, that bothered Lily the most.

* * *

[**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: A healthy dosing of fluff for where they're at in the story, because the next chapter will be the disciplinary hearing and I can say with certainty that EVERYONE is about to get their feelings hurt. I'm excited about it, though, because it will essentially be what I would want to see if we gathered all these characters in one room and asked them: "What the hell, dude?"

We will finally address the Mudblood issue and get past it, starting next chapter, because the point is forgiveness and second chances. So, be patient while they work out a few more kinks and it becomes clear that what they have will be an Unbreakable Vow.

As always, thank you for your deeply kind, thoughtful, and engaging reviews. I've never had a response to a story like this before and it is incredibly inspiring to read your reviews and see such sincere praise. In all the chapters so far, I've only gotten one flame - and for a controversial pairing as this, I consider that to be doing pretty well! Until next time!]

[**Edited/Revised**: Dec. 2019]


	8. VIII: Accused vs Complainant

[**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Happy Holidays, dear readers! It is Christmas Day here in North America, thus as a gift to everyone I offer this update. This is rather short, but I haven't updated this story in over a month and I wanted to give you all something, because this next part is taking longer than I thought. I promise the following chapter - featuring the actual hearing - will be posted soon, before NYE, and will not take as long as this update did.

Thank you for all of your reviews and praise and encouragement! Enjoy!]

* * *

**CHAPTER VIII**: _Accused vs. Complainant_

**Monday, 28 June 1976**

The eight o'clock hour saw a small group of people being deposited at the gates of Hogwarts, brought there by three separate Portkeys.

Orion Black looked around as if offended at the warmth and the brilliance of the summer day, while his wife, Walburga, stowed the eagle-feather quill that was their Portkey in her pocketbook, snidely. Each were dressed in their finest formal robes, Acromantula silk and dragonhide shining in the sunlight - but, nothing about their finery could take away from the chilled, repellent air about them.

On the opposite side of the lane of Orion and Walburga, Fleamont and Euphemia Potter had arrived, accompanied by the Stewards of their House, the Pettigrews.

Neither the Heir Black or his wife were pleased to see the Lord and Lady Potter.

Fleamont Potter drew his wand on the Blacks and although Walburga stepped back, scandalized - Orion merely smirked at the Lord Potter, quite fearlessly. Almost as if _daring_ Fleamont to use his wand against him, despite Fleamont's status as a High Master Duelist.

Euphemia Fawcett Potter placed her delicate, bejeweled hand on her husband's wand-hand, warningly. She was no less angry, the glare she offered the Heir Black and his wife made of nothing but pure poison. However, she knew there was little wisdom in instigating an altercation - especially considering the reason they'd all been called here.

Enid Pettigrew seemed relieved that Fleamont was putting his wand away, patting his arm, reassuringly from his other side. She didn't seem to be able to look at the Blacks directly, nervously looking towards her son, Pierce, instead.

As the Steward of the House of Potter, Pierce was devoted to whatever the will of the Lord Potter was - and, as the Lord Potter was currently quite embittered towards the Heir Black and his wife, Pierce decided that he felt the same. As if to make it clear his first and only concern was the House of Potter, Pierce Pettigrew stepped forward, beckoning the Potters and his mother towards the opening gates, pointedly.

The Blacks waited until the Potters and the Pettigrews had walked into the gates and paced an acceptable distance, before following behind them. Their heads were bent close together as they talked in low voices, their eyes trained on the backs of the small group walking the lane before them.

Neither the scions House of Potter nor the House of Black paid any mind to the lone witch that the third Portkey had deposited in the middle of the lane, only moments after they'd arrived themselves.

Eileen Snape folded her hands together, primly, hoping that it hid the trembling that had begun when she'd realized who the families of the accused students were.

Eileen took a deep, steadying breath and began following the Lord and Lady Potter, the Heir Black and his wife, and the Steward Pettigrews up the lane, distantly noting the echoing clang the gates gave as they closed securely behind her.

The Potters, the Blacks, the Pettigrews, and Mrs. Snape had arrived as instructed to be party to the formal disciplinary hearing that involved their sons and they were welcomed in the Entrance Hall by a solemn Professor Slughorn.

In another two hours, at ten o'clock sharp, the group of parents would be lead into the Headmaster's Office and be met with a small group of officials.

The Board of Governors would be there, a body that numbered twelve, in addition to the four Heads of House, the Headmaster, and the Hogwarts Matron.

Their sons would be present, as both the accused and the complainant, and they'd been informed that there were would be a witness for each side.

The small gathering would constitute the first disciplinary hearing to be had at Hogwarts in fifteen years.

* * *

"Mr. Snape, your mother has arrived and wishes to see you. Shall I show her back?"

Severus closed his eyes and took a steadying breath, as Madame Pomfrey patiently waited for him to answer. A cinch of anxiety made his chest feel tight, but he boldly pushed passed it when Lily reached for his hand, soothingly. Despite the nicks and scars from potioneering and foraging, her hands were still smooth and cool to the touch.

Lily and her touch centered him, allowing him to nod firmly at Madame Pomfrey.

"Yes, ma'am. You can show her back now." Severus declared and was pleased his voice didn't shake.

"Very well. Just a moment, Mr. Snape."

Madame Pomfrey left Severus alone with Lily once more as she went to fetch his mother. Severus let something like a laugh when Lily took the opportunity to pull him into a fierce, crushing, warm embrace.

"I'm here with _you_, no matter what, Sev. Right here by your side and I'm _not _leaving." Lily had her face pressed against his chest, as if she could melt into him with the force of her hug and be within him, as she was beside him. "I'm with you and we'll see this through, together."

Severus swallowed thickly, his arms coming around Lily and holding her just as tightly. He could have lost her completely the other day, when he'd done the unthinkable and called her that awful slur. He should have lost her, by all rights and logic, and there was no doubt that he'd had betrayed their friendship to a depth that it would take time to redeem and heal from.

Despite it all, however, Lily was showing him a mercy he wasn't sure he deserved. A grace and a willingness to forgive that allowed her to be standing with him and unquestionably loyal to him - and Severus was not lost on this.

He may not deserve a second chance or her mercy or forgiveness, but he would earn it.

Lily was already proving her willingness to change by the simple act of being present. He could - and he _would _\- match and exceed that, continuing to move them in a direction that led away from any chasm or separation.

The sound of sharp heels came closer and closer and reluctantly, Severus stepped back from Lily. She didn't miss a beat in reaching for his hand despite their broken embrace.

Severus was thankful for the warmth of holding Lily's hand as Eileen Snape entered the lounge.

The glare that was pinching his mother's face was colder than the most bitter winter and if it weren't for Lily, Severus could easily imagine feeling emptied and hollowed from the chill of that look. He had many, many times before this.

Eileen walked up to Severus briskly, her lips pale and pinched as she declared:

"You are a reckless, _foolish _boy. You have no idea what you're risking by doing this!"

Severus lifted his chin slightly. "Mother, I'm aware of what I'm doing. You didn't have to come if you weren't in support of this."

"Of course I have to be here!" Eileen hissed. Her dark eyes were burning with aching anger and disappointment as she continued: "Clearly, you have no idea what you're up against and how this will _ruin _us, if you're successful. The summons said the accused are a Potter and a Black - and a Pettigrew, which is just the same as a Potter! Do you have any idea of how you'll ruin us in ways from which we may never recover from? Don't you _see_?"

Beside him, Lily bristled. She simply didn't understand and likely never would, what it meant for him - the son of a Muggle and a first-generation pureblood witch - to challenge the names of Wizarding folks who families and blood and Houses were thousands of years and generations of purity and power.

"No offense, Mrs. Snape - but, it doesn't matter what family someone is from or who their parents are. That shouldn't mean - "

The look Eileen gave Lily could have shattered glass. Her words halted as Eileen eyed her, balefully.

"With all due respect, girl, mind your place." Eileen said, coldly. "You are a child of _Muggles_. You know nothing about our world or our culture, for you are having merely been visiting as a student for the past five years. Do _not _interrupt my conversation with my son again."

Severus stepped closer to his mother, glaring.

"That's enough, Mother." Severus gently disentangled his hand from Lily's and folded his arms across his chest, firm and unyielding. "I know full well what I'm doing and despite what you think, I am neither reckless nor foolish for this. Times are different than from when you were younger - and, you'll see what I mean, today."

Eileen shook her head in frustration.

Before anything else could be said, Madame Pomfrey came back into the lounge and they were no longer alone. The Matron was dressed in her official Mediwitch robes, the deep and rich yellow robes complimenting her dark looks well.

"If it pleases everyone, we will prepare for the hearing over breakfast. We'll have to head up to the Headmaster's office in about an hour, so I want to be sure everyone is comfortable with all questions answered."

Severus nodded before anything else could be said.

Madame Pomfrey took it as the welcome that it was and settled herself at table that could accommodate the four of them and her paperwork, Summoning the notepad that would fetch breakfast for the group.

Eileen said no more, refusing to look at Severus as she seated herself at the table with Madame Pomfrey.

Severus could tell, however, by the stony set of her thin shoulders that there was so much more she did want to say - simply not in front of the Matron or Lily.

* * *

"Albus, the Board of Governors has arrived on campus, gathered in the Entrance Hall. Professor Flitwick will be bringing them, momentarily."

Dumbledore nodded his thanks to the portrait of Dame Eupraxia Mole.

Among the select number of portraits that could move freely between locations both within and without Hogwarts, Dame Eupraxia appeared to be the only one uninterested in giving an opinion of the matter of hand. It made her quite an effective informant. She gave information promptly and accurately and there was no precious time lost having to sift and wade through the opinions and rantings of long-dead former Heads.

Dumbledore rose to his feet.

The Headmaster's Office had been shifted to accommodate a small group of people and looked nothing like it did, ordinarily.

A formal disciplinary hearing was a serious event that required the presence of a number of people and adaptable to any situation, the office now reflected that.

In a few short moments, his office would be comfortably full with a diverse collection of people, each with important roles to play in this hearing. The Board of Governors, Heads of House, the Matron. The accused students, the complainant students, the witnesses for both the accused and the complainant - not to mention, the parents.

Dumbledore had not ever had that many people in his office at once nor had a disciplinary hearing been called in his entire fifteen years of Headmastership, thus far.

It irked him that the reason why was a reason so thoroughly out of his control.

Dumbledore reinforced his Occlumency shields, ensuring that his face was welcoming yet expressionless, as a sharp knock sounded at his door.

There was much at stake here, so much at risk for any number of people. If he were to ensure that the little control he had over this hearing and its outcome was maintained with an iron-grip, Dumbledore could not allow himself to be ruled or directed by how he felt about everything that was transpiring.

"Ah! Welcome, Governors. I wish we could be gathered under more ideal circumstances, but nevertheless..."

* * *

Lily had not been to the Headmaster's Office since right before Christmas in her third-year.

The memory of that visit still haunted her. Professor McGonagall had quite solemnly brought her to Professor Dumbledore's office and together, her Head of House and the Headmaster had shared with her that her parents had been in a terrible automobile accident. Somehow, after learning that her mother had been killed on impact and her father was in a coma and certainly paralyzed, everything else had faded into a numbed fog - and, if she were honest, Lily couldn't quite remember what the Headmaster's Office looked like.

Only what she'd _felt_ the one time she'd been there.

To her surprise, upon being brought up the revolving staircase and entering the Headmaster's Office -

The Headmaster's Office looked nothing like she remembered it to be or expected it to be.

A tribunal space had taken the place of the Headmaster's Office and the room was full of people. Apparently, they'd been the last ones to arrive - herself, Madame Pomfrey, Severus and his mother - and all eyes fell upon them as they entered the office.

"Good morning, all. Chief Mediwitch Poppy Pomfrey appearing at the mandatory reporter at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." Madame Pomfrey looked around confident and commanding her deep yellow robes, adding: "I bring with me the accused and his parental guardian, Mr. Severus Snape and Mrs. Eileen Snape, as well as the witness for the accused, Miss Lily Evans."

Lily could feel the heat of dozens of eyes upon her. Briefly, she felt self-conscious, wondering if she could have dressed better or if her cosmetic spells made her look like a little girl playing dress-up instead of a young witch of sixteen.

However, she wouldn't let the feeling linger.

She was a Gryffindor, she had courage, and she was here to stand with Severus and make it clear that he deserved justice and peace of mind. She could do this.

Lily looked towards Madame Pomfrey for inspiration, trying to emulate the command and poise she had before this large body of intimidating and important officials.

Dais had taken the place of the Headmaster's desk and upon the dais was a long table that seated nearly twenty. Professor Dumbledore was in the center of the table, with Professor McGonagall and Professor Sprout to his right, while Professor Slughorn and Professor Flitwick sat to his left. On either side of the Heads of Houses, there were six chairs, filled with witches and wizards that Lily had never seen before - with the exception of two.

Lord Magnus McKinnon was looking at her curiously, looking every bit as much as Marlene, but with none of the open and doe-eyed trust that his daughter carried around on her sleeve. Laurus Prewett looked at her only once, with hard eyes; unlike his nephew, he had not been as open to her hertiage as Fabian had and decided against her completely when she had ended her relationship with Fabian last Yule.

Altogether, the combination of school governors, the Heads of Houses, and the Headmaster was enough to make Lily realize that something very serious was about to happen.

"The arrival of the accused, the witness of the accused, and the mandatory reporter completes the attendance of this hearing." Professor Dumbledore announced. "Please, Poppy, company, be seated to your immediate left at the table provided and the proceedings will begin momentarily."

Madame Pomfrey led them to the table Professor Dumbledore directed them toward. The table could seat four comfortably, angled toward the dais and the table opposite -

And only when they were seated did Lily finally notice the small group seated at the opposite table.

Potter. Black. Pettigrew.

Lily was satisfied to see that none of them were swaggering or strutting about this morning.

She hadn't seen any of them this morning when she'd rose or when she'd had breakfast in the Great Hall with Dorcas, Marlene, and Mary, before going to see Severus in the Private Ward. Observing the pairs standing behind each boy, Lily could understand why - they were probably with their families, as Mrs. Snape had been with Severus.

Potter was in deep conversation with his parents, turned improperly in the chair and straddling it as he spoke. Mr. and Mrs. Potter were snow-and-steel-haired to her great surprise, but there was no denying that despite their age, James Potter was their son. Mrs. Potter had the same hazel eyes behind square-framed glasses as Potter did, while Mr. Potter looked as though he'd simply passed on his face to his son.

Beside the elder Potters, a very plain and small woman sat nervously behind Pettigrew, her dark eyes and pale hair very much like her son and nothing like the young wizard sitting directly between herself and the Potters. Lily wondered who he could be, perhaps a brother or an uncle, for he didn't look old enough to be Pettigrew's father and he and Pettigrew looked nothing alike. Every few moments, Mrs. Pettigrew leaned forward to pat Pettigrew's rounded shoulders reassuringly - and her affection and worry was a stark contrast from the coldness and distance from Black's parents.

Mr. and Mrs. Black were silent, not speaking to one another and very pointedly not speaking to Black. Mr. Black was glaring at Black's back as though he were an enemy and not his own son, the heat and poison from his pale gray eyes enough to make chills run down Lily's spine. She couldn't imagine her own father looking at her as Black's was, for any reason. Neither could she imagined the cold disappointment that twisted Mrs. Black's face, her sharp beauty tarnished by the ugliness of her expression.

The only other person that sat at the table opposite of them was the witness for the Marauders: Remus Lupin.

Remus sat silently and alone at the end of the table, none of his friends speaking to him or acknowledging him. He would have seemed lonely or ignored, but the absolute coil of tension his frail and lean body was wound with said that he didn't want to be spoken to. He didn't want to be there at all, it seemed.

Lily wished she could be angry or righteously disappointed in him for being present and speaking on behalf of Potter or Black or Pettigrew - but, unfortunately, she understood.

Remus was probably there for the same reasons that she was present herself. Just as she was seated beside Severus, Remus was seated at the table with the Marauders because he stood by his friends, no matter what. Lily had not allowed herself to be swayed from Severus despite what others thought of their friendship and it appeared Remus wouldn't be parted from the Marauders, though his loyalty had landed him here, on the wrong side of this disciplinary hearing.

The smart rapping of a gavel silenced all speech in the room.

Everyone's attention was drawn to the dais as Lord McKinnon rose to his feet and called for order.

"Welcome one and all. I am Lord Magnus McKinnon of the Ancient and Honorable House of McKinnon, son of the late Lord Maximus McKinnon, grandson of the late Lord Maurus McKinnon. As the Chairman of the Hogwarts Board of Governors, I call to order this disciplinary hearing of Potter, Black, and Pettigrew versus Severus Snape on this day, Monday, 28 June 1976." Lord McKinnon looked around. "Will both the accused and the complainant please rise and prepare to introduce yourselves to the record?"

Lily hoped she wasn't pulling too much of a face, as Potter, Black, and Pettigrew rose to their feet, followed more sedately by Severus.

"I am Heir James Potter of the Ancient and Most Valiant House of Potter, son of Lord Fleamont Potter, grandson of the late Lord Henry Potter." Potter said, solemnly. He bowed slightly at the waist, standing tall again as he offered humbly: "Hello, Governors, Headmaster, Professors."

Lily was frowning now, as Potter received nods of acknowledgements from nearly everyone on the Board of Governors, as well as polite greetings from the Hogwarts staff. She hoped that everyone was simply being polite and they weren't buying into the insincere charm she had come to loathe in Potter.

Pettigrew shifted nervously at the attention moved from Potter onto him.

"I am Heir Steward P-Peter Pettigrew of the Steward Pettigrews, humble and loyal servants of the Ancient and Most Valiant House of Potter. Oh - um, son of Padraig Pettigrew - the late Padraig Pettigrew - and grandson of the late Paul Pettigrew." Pettigrew was certainly far more graceless than Potter and was flushed red, but a quick glance at Potter, and he tacked on, almost squeakily: "Good morning, Governors, Headmaster, Professors."

Lily didn't think that her suspicions were wrong, as hardly anyone on the Board of Governors nodded at Pettigrew and only the Hogwarts staff greeting him, a touch less warm than Potter.

There was a tense pause, as Black was being stared at next, and with a hiss from his father, Black sighed and began to speak.

"I am Heir Sirius Black II of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black, son of Heir Orion Black, grandson of Lord Arcturus Black." Black was sullen as he deliberately remained silent, choosing not to kiss up with insincere charm like Potter nor following the lead of Potter as Pettigrew mindlessly had. "It is _not _a good morning, so I refuse to bid anyone such a falsehood."

There was a distinctly different reaction to the sullen defiance of Black than there had been for either Potter or Pettigrew. The Board of Governors were silent and disapproving in equal measures, while Professor Dumbledore frowned lightly. Professor McGonagall's lips thinned in a way that Lily knew to mean she was furious, while Professors Flitwick, Sprout, and Slughorn simply shook their heads.

Lord McKinnon eyed Black for a lingering moment, before turning to look at Severus, prompting him to speak with an aristocratic nod.

"I am Severus Snape, born of the womb of Eileen Prince of the Clan Prince, son of a Muggle of no Wizarding name, grandson of a Muggle of no Wizarding name." Severus announced with no emotion, though from his other side, Mrs. Snape made a small noise that Lily couldn't identify. "Hello and good morning, all."

The Board of Governors did not have much of a reaction beyond bland salutations, except for a wizard with winter-blond hair narrowing his eyes and looking at Severus far too closely.

Lord McKinnon rapped the gavel again, the sound loud and cutting, and declared:

"So mote it be. This disciplinary is officially on record and commenced. Let the proceedings begin."

* * *

[**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: As I said before the start of the chapter, the actual disciplinary hearing is taking longer than I thought to write, so instead of posting one massive update - I decided to break apart the chapter and use this one to build up to it.

The next update shall be coming forth within the week, before the end of 2019, so please stay tuned!]


	9. IX: Procedure, Part I of III

**CHAPTER IX**: _Procedure, Part I of III_

Severus kept his face as emotionless as possible, as he resumed his seat upon Lord McKinnon's direction.

The disciplinary hearing had officially commenced.

Lord McKinnon came down the dais and assumed his place behind the handsome podium, looking between the two tables of students and parents with serious, dark eyes.

"Students and parents, the Hogwarts Board of Governors have been called to order to address a grave of violation of the Hogwarts Charter. This violation was born through a lack of administrative oversight and accountability, which has overall lead to an academic environment that is not representative of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. This unsatisfactory environment was made known to the Board of the Governors yesterday, Sunday, 27 1976, leading to our current gathering here, on the morning of Monday, 28 June 1976."

Lord McKinnon looked over his shoulder, briefly. There was something hard in his eyes, as he squarely made eye contact with Dumbledore, who didn't look away.

"The Board of Governors must make known its great surprise and concern that these violations have not been adequately addressed by the Headmaster nor the Heads of Houses. As well, we declare our disappointment at their apparent choice to look the other direction and ignore the optimal welfare of a student, which ultimately does not serve any of the students present nor the trust of the parents who allow us to have their young witches and wizards in our care."

Severus looked past Lord McKinnon at these words, his eyes falling on Dumbledore and the Heads of Houses.

Dumbledore was curiously expressionless, though his blue eyes were blazing as he stared at Lord McKinnon's back. Professor McGonagall's lips were still so thin, as to not be visible, and Severus almost smirked at the hard look she was giving Dumbledore from the corner of her eye. While Professor Sprout and Professor Flitwick looked both troubled and concerned in equal measures, Professor Slughorn was frowning deeply with none of his good cheer, as Lord McKinnon continued.

"Considering the oversight that the Headmaster and the administration have displayed concerning these violations, let it be noted on the record that the responsibility for this matter has been passed onto the Board of Governors - and the decisions made here today by our governing body will supercede the authority of the Headmaster and the administration." Lord McKinnon looked over his shoulder at Dumbledore and the Heads of Houses and declared: "What is decided here today is what shall be upheld by the Headmaster and the adminstration, due to the complete lack of accountability shown regarding these violations of the Hogwarts Charter. No attempt shall be made to subvert, overturn, or ignore our resolutions or orders, upon promise of disciplinary action from the Board, toward any staff member found responsible for doing so. So mote it be."

A thrill of shock that he couldn't quite trust flared within Severus.

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Although he was likely that nothing would come of this or that Potter, Black, and Pettigrew would escape this with slaps upon their wrists - at least it was clear that the matter was out of the hands of the Hogwarts staff, entirely. That must have been what the blazing look in Dumbledore's gaze was about.

For once, Dumbledore was powerless to protect the Marauders from whatever due justice they would hopefully recieve - and there would be consequences even for him, if he tried.

Lily must have realized the same, for her hand found his under the table and she gripped his trembling hand, hard.

Severus was encouraged, as Lord McKinnon paused to allow the gravity of the situation to set forward, before continuing on.

"At this time, I would have the Chair of Student Welfare come forward to carry out his duty by making the opening statements, declaring the procedure of this hearing, and declaring the accusations for the record." Lord McKinnon did not remove himself from the podium, but simply stepped aside as a rather pompous wizard came almost-bounding down the dais to take his place. "Please, state your name for the record."

"I am Heir Everard Macmillan of the Ancient and Most Earnest House of Macmillan, son of the Lord Edmund Macmillan, grandson of Sir Aloysius Macmillan." Everard Macmillan looked around importantly, before peering over his monocles at the scroll and announcing importantly: "Thank you, Lord McKinnon. As Chair of Student Welfare, it is my duty to oversee, protect, and serve the interest of the students of Hogwarts and ensure their optimal welfare while in our care at Hogwarts. A part of my duty, I receive and process any mandatory reporting entries made by the Hogwarts staff. If I have determined the report is legitimate through evidence provided by the mandatory reporter, I make the report known to my fellows on the Board. As a collective, based my ultimate recommendation as the Chair, we move forward, with our ultimate intent being the optimal welfare of the student named in the mandatory reporting entry. The student named on this report, submitted by the Hogwarts Matron on Sunday, 27 June 1976 is so named as Severus Snape of Slytherin House, fifth-year student of Hogwarts."

This pompous declaration of evidence and reports and welfare had Severus looking over at Madame Pomfrey, both surprised and wary. What had she shared with the Board of Governors that had the Headmaster powerless and at the behest of the Board of Governors? What evidence had she submitted that had been so thoroughly reviewed by the Board of Governors that this hearing was warranted? Madame Pomfrey must have felt him starting, for she looked over.

The flinty look in her dark gaze was reassuring, from one Slytherin to another.

Madame Pomfrey was his ally and had done all she could to stack the deck in his favor. While he wasn't going to get his hopes up - he was encouraged, still.

Heir Macmillan was now glaring, but at whom it wasn't clear. Nearly brandishing the scroll that hovered before him, Heir Macmillan's voice was nearly booming as he continued.

"As it pertains to the mandatory reporting entry received from Madame Poppy Pomfrey concerning the Hogwarts student by the name of Severus Snape...I must say, on the record as the Chairman of Student Welfare, the report I received was so appalling, I'm willing to call it heinous." Heir Macmillan paused to give a brief, withering look to Dumbledore and the Heads of Houses, much more severe than Lord McKinnon's brief look had been. "According to the evidence submitted by Madame Pomfrey, the mandatory report entry has peaked with the core incident that occurred on Saturday, 26 June 1976 - in Hogsmeade Village, no less. We the Board find this disturbing in and of itself, as it is a strict condition of the privlege of traveling to another town be _safe _above all else. As I investigated further, it became clear that the core incident was but the culmination of a pattern of misbehavior and lack of discipline. A pattern that has apparently spanned the entirety of these students' lower form!

"Throughout this period of no less than five years, it has been determined that there was rarely, if ever, any interest or action taken by the Hogwarts staff to prevent, mediate, or altogether stop this deeply worrisome behavior from members of its student body. In short, the Hogwarts staff appears to have ignored the repeated violations of the Hogwarts Charter for reasons unknown. Through this deliberate ignorance, an environment has developed where _students _have been named in a mandatory reporting entry - as _perpetrators_, this time, instead only being the subject of the report. This made it clear that this report was not simply as issue of a danger to a student's health and optimal welfare. This was instead a disciplinary issue, at its core, facilitated entirely through a disappointing lack of authority and accountability, as demonstrated by the Hogwarts staff, namely the Headmaster and the Heads of Houses."

With every word from Heir Macmillan, Severus could feel hope within him - a real hope that wasn't cautious encouragement.

Someone knew what was going on. Someone who was in a position of authority and wasn't favoring his pet Gryffindors as Dumbledore ceaselessly did, they knew what was going on here at Hogwarts -

And, for the first time that he could ever remember, they had listened and _believed him_.

Listened and prepared to take action on his behalf - _against _Potter, Black, and Lupin, no less. A fiery spike of grim satisfaction made it hard to restrain his smirk, as he looked across the room at Potter, Black, and Pettigrew.

None of the swaggering foursome appeared to be well.

A hint of a sneer was pulling at Potter's thin mouth, a burning indignation searing behind his square-framed glasses. He was ashen, his face strained, as he stared upon Heir Macmillan as if he couldn't believe he was being spoken against in such a way. Pettigrew was sweating and fidgeting anxiously, seeming almost twitchy as he listened someone with more power and more authority than Dumbledore make it clear that the Marauders did not have the advantage or protection of Dumbledore at the moment.

Even Lupin, who sat at the end of the table alone and with nobody at his back, seemed ready to faint, pale as bone and looking quite sickly indeed. It was deeply satisfying to see the beastly boy at his weakest, the New Moon having peaked just yesterday - for there was nothing of the overpowering, bloodthirsty beast lurking and ready to pounce at the Full Moon behind his deceptively timid facsimile.

Only Black appeared to be unshaken or concerned with what was being declared and said against him.

A true burn of loathing struck Severus as Black met his gaze, unflinching and unapologetic. If Lupin had been the beast who nearly killed him at the Full Moon two weeks ago, Black had been the one to originate the murderous attempt and make it possible for Lupin to do so. Had it not been for Potter losing his nerve and backing out the last moment, piteously claiming that he'd been trying to save Severus instead of being in on the savage plot - Severus would be dead right now.

Or, worse: a _beast _like Lupin, bitten and condemned to a cursed half-life of Lycanthropy.

Severus felt the constriction of magic around his throat as he desperately wished he could tell the whole sordid tale. While he had the attention of the righteously displeased Heir Macmillan, while he had the attention of the whole Board of Governors - Severus wished he could say something, say anything.

Instead, he had to settle for glaring as Black continued to stare him down with hatred.

Heir Macmillan was not finished, as he once again brandished the scroll and looked almost imperious.

"As this is a disciplinary hearing, there is a procedure that must be followed and it goes as such. I shall read off the list of accusations as leveled against Heir Potter, Heir Steward Pettigrew, and Heir Black, formed from the evidentiary findings of the mandatory reporting entry about Severus Snape as submitted by the Hogwarts Matron. According to the Hogwarts Charter, it is their right to hear the accusations against them and be given the courtesy of a few moments to deliberate on the accusations amongst themselves." Heir Macmillan eyed the Marauders with a severity that belied his puffed-up countenance. "Once the brief deliberation is over with, the Complainant is then allowed his right to expand upon and legitimize these accusations. We give Severus Snape the opportunity to allow his voice be heard by the Board directly, thus delivering a testimony in his own words. The Accused will be allowed the opportunity to defend against both the formal accusations and the testimony of the Complainant. A chosen witness shall be allowed to speak on the behalf of both parties, while the parents or guardians that are present are allowed to advocate at any time for the students named as both the Complainant and the Accused."

Heir Macmillan paused and looked expectantly over his shoulder at his fellows.

"In addition to the advocacy of the parents or guardians, Hogwarts provides student advocacy through the Board of Governors during a disciplinary hearing. At this time, I ask that members of the Board of Governors at this time volunteer one of our number to be an advocate for the Complainant and the Accused each."

The prompting of Heir Macmillan made two wizards rise to their feet simultaneously.

A dark auburn-haired wizard that Severus did not know but seemed familiar - and one wizard that was familiar, though Severus had never seen or spoken to him before in life.

Lord Abraxas Malfoy looked like what Severus imagined Lucius would look like, forty or fifty years from now. His ice-blond hair was tied back from his face with a silk ribbon, catching the summer sunlight every bit as much as his Acromantula-woven robes and jeweled signet ring. While Lucius aspired to be the picture of chilled power and dominance that was the Lord Malfoy, he wasn't quite there yet.

For, never once had Severus felt as intimidated by Lucius as he now felt by the Lord Malfoy, who was starting at him viperously.

Severus was startled as Lord Malfoy descended the dais and began walking over to their table. Unlike Madame Pomfrey, Severus didn't know whether he should be reassured or wary by this, despite Lord Malfoy being a Slytherin, too. Lord Malfoy was not Lucius. While Severus was reasonably sure that Lucius was a true ally, a solid wizard to have in one's corner - perhaps, even a friend - he knew very little about Abraxas Malfoy.

The Lord Malfoy came to stand directly before Severus, pinning him with a gaze as sharp as a shard of glass.

Heir Macmillan allowed Lord McKinnon to step forward briefly and declare:

"Those who have volunteered on behalf of both the Complainant and the Accused, please state your name for the record. "

"Good morning to all those gathered. I am Lord Abraxas Malfoy of the Ancient and Most Sincere House of Malfoy, son of the late Lord Augustus Malfoy, grandson of the late Lord Marcellus Malfoy." Lord Malfoy looked around the room briefly, as if allowing everyone to savor his lineage and his title.

The dark auburn-haired wizard had gone to stand opposite of Severus and the Lord Malfoy, choosing to be the Marauders as swiftly as the Lord Malfoy had chosen Severus himself.

"Good morning to all. I am Laurus Prewett, the Regent of Lord of the Ancient and Most Fortunate House of Prewett, son of Heir Fabius Prewett, grandson of the late Ignatius Prewett II." Laurus Prewett titled his rounded chin upwards, his bright-brown eyes blazing.

Suddenly, Severus knew why he'd looked familar: Fabian Prewett had that same insufferable glint to those same brown eyes. Severus resisted the urge to sneer, disliking the wizard on principle, for who he reminded him of and who he now spoke in favor of.

"Thank you, Abraxas, Laurus," Lord McKinnon stepped back, adding: "You may continue, Everard."

Heir Macmillan resumed his place, his gaze back upon his floating scroll.

"With the Board members selected as student advocates, closing arguments shall be made by each of these student advocates to the Chairman of the Board, the Lord McKinnon, which will conclude the proceedings in full." Heir Macmillan looked between the two tables of students, seriously. "At the conclusion of the proceedings, a verdict shall be delivered and if applicable, penalties will be applied as a resolution. This verdict can include but is not limited to suspension, censure, or expulsion and as stated previously by the Chairman of the Board, the Lord McKinnon - the Board's decision is final and out of the purview of the Headmaster and the Heads of House, completely."

Heir Macmillan tapped his wand against the scroll that floated before him, and Severus watched anticipation as another scroll switched itself out.

"With the opening statements made and the procedure made clear, I shall now read the official Declaration of Accusations, as made against Heir James Potter, Heir Steward Pettigrew, and Heir Black."

Severus was scarcely breathing as Heir Macmillan turned to face the Marauders with his newly floating scroll.

This was the moment he never thought would arrive and he wanted to hear every word, as declared on record by people who seemed interested in doing something to help him.

"Heir James Potter, by authority of the Board of Governors, you are hereby accused of multiple violations of the Hogwarts Charter through the following infractions committed on Saturday, 26 June 1976: deliberate harassment of a fellow student, willful misconduct outside of school grounds, reckless behavior outside of school grounds, spell-hacking, spell-hacking with the intent to commit harm, aggravated assault through spell-hacking, and willful and premeditated violence against a fellow student."

Potter pulled forward out of his father's grasp and Severus grinned in malicious glee, as his face went from ashen to brick-red in a matter of seconds. He was righteously _furious_.

"Now, wait a moment - !"

"_Silence_, Heir Potter." Lord McKinnon declared sharply, before Heir Macmillan was able to demand the same. "You will have your time to address these grievances in full. Now is not that time."

Severus contained his grin to a smirk, as Potter sullenly settled back into his chair, glaring daggers at Heir Macmillan as the chairman pressed forward past his outburst.

Heir Macmillan peered over his monocle, as he declared: "The occurrence of this core incident on 26 June and the bold has lead to a deeper investigation of the entire academic year, so that it could be understood if this was an isolated incident or a pattern of misconduct. Our investigation reveled the latter, unfortunately. The Board of Governors will be addressing the sustained pattern of misconduct throughout lower form and this review will contribute to the final deliberation and verdict of these accusations leveled against you."

Severus could hardly believe what he was hearing.

Potter was being made to answer to quite a thorough list of accusations by the Board of Governor - and, it wasn't simply because of their encounter in Hogsmeade a couple of days ago. If what Heir Macmillan was promising would come true, James Potter and his entire conduct record at Hogwarts was going to be examined and addressed by someone with more authority and interest than Dumbledore had ever once had.

Potter looked pinched, as he was forced to stay quite and Heir Macmillan turned to look at Pettigrew in the seat alongside him.

Severus suppressed a smile. Perhaps today would be the day that Potter would see judgment and Severus would finally know justice.

"Heir Steward Pettigrew, by authority of the Board of Governors, you are hereby accused of multiple violations of the Hogwarts Charter through the following infractions committed on Saturday, 26 June 1976: deliberate harassment of a fellow student, willful misconduct outside of school grounds, reckless behavior outside of school grounds, failure to report spell-hacking, abetting spell-hacking with the intent to commit harm, abetting aggravated assault through spell-hacking, and abetting willful and premeditated violence against a fellow student." Heir Macmillan eyed a bone-pale Pettigrew critically. "As with Heir Potter, the occurrence of this core incident sparked an investigation of the academic year and said investigation prompted the Board to bring your entire conduct record under review for lower form. This overview of your record will be a deciding factor in the final deliberation and verdict of these accusations leveled against you."

Pettigrew seemed fit to wet himself or pass out, looking wildly at Potter. Severus scoffed quietly, finding Pettigrew to be pathetic. Even when his own hide was on the line, with nobody between himself and the full wrath of the Board of Governors closing in on him and his future at Hogwarts - Pettigrew was ever the sycophant, unable to do anything without following Potter.

Heir Macmillan turned to look at Black, final and last, and his voice was considerably colder as Sirius gave him an ugly look indeed.

"Heir Sirius Black II, , by authority of the Board of Governors, you are hereby accused of multiple violations of the Hogwarts Charter through the following infractions committed on Saturday, 26 June 1976: deliberate harassment of a fellow student, willful misconduct outside of school grounds, reckless behavior outside of school grounds, abetting spell-hacking, abetting spell-hacking with the intent to commit harm, abetting aggravated assault through spell-hacking, willful and premeditated violence against a fellow student, and threats of violence against a fellow student with intent to harm."

The final accusation was unique to Black. Nothing of the sort had been present in the declaration that had been leveled upon either Potter or Pettigrew.

Something very satisfying indeed spiked in his chest, as Severus recalled the altercation that had happened between Black and Pettigrew before Potter had ever hunted him down.

He had no doubt in his mind that Black and Pettigrew had instigated attack from Potter. Black had tried to attack him and had likely been sour about Pettigrew preventing him from doing so. It was easy to imagine Black going back to where they'd been holed up, goaded Potter into doing what he couldn't do himself. His absolute malicious glee at Potter's humiliating attack had been all the more enjoyable for his own lack of opportunity.

Severus couldn't help but savor the ugly, incensed look twisting Black's patrician face into something quite unpleasant to behold.

Heir Macmillan was openly displeased by the defiance displayed by Black, as well as his blatant lack of contrition. There was a brittle chill to his voice, as he concluded the accusations against Black and he looked more severe than he had with either Potter or Pettigrew.

"As with Heir Potter and Heir Steward Pettigrew, the investigation in your conduct record for the current academic year. The insight provided a disturbing insight into the hostile and ever-escalating pattern that has been running rampant throughout the entirety of your lower form career, which made it a pressing concern to have your future at Hogwarts put under closer review. This review will go toward determining the outcome of the final deliberation and verdict of these accusation leveled against you."

With a smart tap of his wand, the scroll abruptly rolled itself up, allowing Heir Macmillan to snatch it up pompously in his hand. He peered between the two tables over his monocle, sharply.

"This concludes the Declaration of Accusation against the Accused. At this time, as Chairman of Student Welfare, I give the Accused leave to discuss and deliberate the charges against them with their parents and student advocates. This period of discussion and deliberation shall last no more than twenty minutes. Upon the conclusion of this courtesy, the Board will move forward with the testimony from Severus Snape on these Declaration of Accusations. Thank you."

Heir Macmillan returned to his seat upon the dais, leaving Lord McKinnon to resume his place behind the podium.

Lord McKinnon gestured to Potter, Pettigrew, and Black talk amongst themselves, before looking toward Severus, with serious dark eyes.

"Mr. Snape, it is suggested at this time that you take advantage of this period of pause to open a discussion with your parent and advocate to prepare for your testimony. At the conclusion of the twenty minute period, you will be called to stand before the Board. Use your time wisely."

Severus nodded, weightily.

The critical moment had arrived and he wasn't sure how he felt about it. For years, he'd dreamed that someone of authority or someone who cared would stop, listen to him, and believe him about the Marauders - even if it was for a moment.

His moment had arrived and Severus was determined that he take full advantage of it, that he lay it all on the line to see the Marauders brought to justice.

Nothing would be the same after this.

Nothing would be as it was going forward.

* * *

[**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: This begins the first of a three-part chapter, because the more I think about it, the more there is to address around this complex dynamic. There is just so much to look at and so much to deconstruct, I had to break down into three parts. So, if this part was a bit weighted and full of formality, that's because the next installment is explosive and the concluding installment of this three-part chapter catapults us into ABSOLUTE AU territory. It's been a soft AU so far. After Chapter 11, Snape and Lily are in a whole new world that isn't anything like canon!

If Snape is reading as an unequivocal victim here, that's intentional and will be addressed. His righteous anger at the Marauders would totally cloud his judgement of the accountability he holds in this dangerous rivalry between them - which, in my opinion, is quite the character flaw. Snape will not be absolved of his behavior up until this point, scout's honor! In order for him to turn this corner and be someone that he feels is worth of Lily's love, we have to talk about the vile little shadow he was casting in his Hogwarts years, which in canon lead to him down the dark path that resulted in the tragedy of his story. Here, he doesn't take the same road - but, looking towards the light can be just as harsh as embrace the dark. This won't be easy for him, but Lily will be worth it.

Next update is Part II of this vast chapter! I appreciate all the reviews and the patience in this growing story. It has not and will not be abandoned, even if I have to slow down a bit to write chapters that I feel do justice to the story I'm trying to tell. Stay tuned for the coming installment: _Proceedings, Part II of III!_]


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